(Closed) What do you think of this advice re: not sending invites to all std recipients?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with the writer’s comment on if you send an invitation, they might think you are fishing for a gift. I think that I would call the people who said they certainly could not come and double check. Say: “Are you sure you do not want an invitation?”

Post # 4
Member
10510 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

If they were close enough to me to send a STD, they are close enough to get the invitation because they might like to hang on to it.

Post # 5
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We didn’t send an invitation to a friend who said he couldn’t make it… Thou he works for the AFL (football) and his team is an away game that weekend so it was a definite no. The friends who said they didn’t know yet but will try still (due to distance or babies) got invites even thou they ultimately said no.

Post # 6
Member
8115 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I think you should send an invitation if you sent an STD. It is nice to be thought of even if you cannot make it but also because things change. For example my aunt and uncle rang after they got the STD to say they didn;t think they could make it because they had to harvest at that time (obviously they are farmers) and couldn’t postpone it obviously (nature wont wait fro anyone not even a bride!) but 8 weeks before the wedding they got news that their son was coming home from London (he went on a GAP year and stayed for three!) and so they could come to the wedding now! You just never know in life!

I thin if you want them at your wedding you should send an invite regardless of whether they can make it or not.

Post # 7
Member
8115 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@ShellVee:  My BIL had an AFL friend as well and sent an invite but said he would be in Adelaide that weekend playing so couldn’t make it and the friend got injured and was able to make it- now imagine if he hadn’t gotten an invite! Life happens and changes plans all the time!

Post # 8
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@j_jaye:  He’s a physio so hopefully he won’t get hurt… Plus it is in 11 days 🙂 if he Happens to be here we will definitely squeeze him in 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sometimes plans change, as PPs have said, so better to send one. Personally, I would just write a little note that said something about how we would miss them but if their plans change we would love to see them, or to have fun on their vacation, or something. Just so they know they will be missed but we understand why they can’t make it. Also, if it was someone I was close to, I might want to hang on to the invite as a keepsake or at least see what they look like.

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, I keep hearing that the Emily Post Institute has sold out to the wedding industry and I think this article proves it.  That article is terrible.  You should ABSOLUTELY send an invite to anyone who received a STD.  Plans can change a LOT in 6-9 months and guests who didn’t think they could come may now be able to.  If you’re worried about it looking like a gift grab, I agree with PP that a nice note about hoping their plans change would be a great idea.

The topic ‘What do you think of this advice re: not sending invites to all std recipients?’ is closed to new replies.

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