(Closed) What do you think of this card?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I personally think it’s a nice card. It seems like a nice gesture. I don’t think she addressed to only to him to hurt you, she is probably just more comfortable with him since he is her son. And she probably knew he would show it to you. It is an anniversary card anyways.

 I think if you feel that much resentment in a card that was meant to be nice, maybe you really need to have a one to one talk to her as an adult. If this is your husband and you plan to spend the rest of your life together, you might as well try to be the bigger person and work things out with her. I think for moms it’s always hard to let their son go. And a lot of Mother-In-Law make mistakes because they can’t express that feeling of letting go. Either way, I’m not sure what the whole story is, but I really think maybe talking over brunch without attacking could do wonder for your relationship.

Post # 5
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@ttn133: I would just count your blessings that she’s across the country from you, instead of like an hour away. She sounds like a sarcastic, insensitive, openly racist person, and I would just try to grin and bear her.

Post # 7
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would have been offended too, in all honesty.  Given your past with her, that she addressed the card only to your husband, and the content of the card, I wouldn’t have been happy to find it either.  I’d probably assume she was making some sort of jab about me personally (rollercoaster relationship?  Why did she choose that?), but I do tend to read a lot into actions like this!  Even when it isn’t warrented…

I would talk to your husband about it.  Maybe he can either ease your mind or confirm your thoughts on it.  It wouldn’t hurt to find out why he didn’t show it to you when he received it.

Good luck with you Mother-In-Law.  On the bright side, you two aren’t next door neighbors!  😉

Post # 9
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@ttn133: Sorry. I guess I just don’t read into things like that too deeply. I’m sorry that she is so harsh (especially about what she said about your family .. i just re-read that). If you’ve already tried talking with her, you’ve done your part. Like the other poster said, just smile and try to keep it civil.

Post # 10
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Here’s what you do: call her up and thank her sooo much for her sweet card! you just loooved it and think it was so nice of her.If you don’t want to call her alone have your hubby do it and put u on speakerpphone.

Kill her with kindness. It it was done out of malice she’ll feel like shit when you call her up all sweet and nice. And if it was meant to be nice – then this opens the door for you guys to build a relationship.

Post # 11
Member
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

By The Way, Happy Anniversary Sunday!  🙂

Post # 12
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ttn133: Wow. I could have written your post. I am shaking my head at how similar our stories are. I would feel as you do and put it where I can’t see it. Maybe on your husband’s dreser tucked behind something else?

I don’t know when I will ever stop resenting her and now she is trying to be super sweet too which makes it worse.

I send good wishes your way and don’t feel bad…You are justified.

Post # 14
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

although i dont think the card is bad, addressing it only to her son and excluding you is bad form.   so you just found the card? what are your hubbys thoughts/did he show it to you?

as someone said above, kill her with kindness but dont sell your soul to be friends with her, aim for civil and polite and hope for the best

goodluck!

Post # 16
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

thank her, and use it as an opportunity to give both of you a fresh start.

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