Post # 1
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
Our sixth anniversary is coming up. We got engaged in August, and honestly, it was not the “fairytale” or memorable time it should have been. I knew going in that it would be a long engagement, but I wasn’t prepared for the whole “we’re engaged, but not getting married.” I had a miscarriage in Oct, we’ve had issue after issue that ate our finances, and the beginning of our wedding savings had to be spent. We also had his brother move in with us unexpectedly, and that took a bit to get used to… impeded on our usual mannerisms and routines with each other.
I’ve been very emotional over the whole thing, and he has felt like I’m not even happy to be engaged. Well I am, of course, it’s just not what I had expected. Things have finally evened out, but I still want to make it right. I was thinking of getting him a ring, and giving it to him at his favourite restaurant, and explaining that no matter what, I am with him, I want to be with him, and I am excited to work with him to have a wonderful wedding in a couple of years. It would just be quiet, so as to not emasculate him or anything, but I think it would be a nice gesture to show him “I’m all in.” I was also thinking about giving him my ring in a box, for him to put back on my finger, as an engagement do-over.
What do you bees think? What do your SO’s think?
Post # 3
Member
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
does he know you were unhappy with the proposal?
Post # 4
Member
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I think the dinner and giving him a ring is a great idea-some special romantic time for just the two of you.
I think he may misinterpret your intent as criticism if you ask him to redo the proposal. I think I would leave well enough alone in that regard.
Post # 5
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
Wasn’t unhappy with the proposal at all. It’s just been one very rocky road, and I see our 6th anniversary (and two years to go to the wedding date) as the perfect time to re-commit.
Post # 6
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
I might give him a watch or some other token besides a ring. A ring to a guy means wedding band, but a watch may be a gift. You’re saying that you love and appreciate him and are happy to spend your life with him, but you’re not proposing.
I’m sure you’ve thought of this, but what about a small wedding sooner rather than later, if that’s what you’re actually upset about?
ETA: Oh… I missed the giving him your ring back part. Well, that might not be a good idea. I actually kinda sorta did that… my proposal was lame (at the time), and we were walking around the national mall a month or so later… I asked him to propose again. He did, and it was fine. But, I always tell my original story. After the dust settled, I found his proposal cute and unique, even though it was certainly not what I had envisioned.
Post # 7
Member
320 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: January 2012 - Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro
I think proposing to him would be a really sweet gesture. However, I think that giving your ring back to him to re-propose isn’t a great idea. I think it will send the message of “my first proposal wasn’t good enough so you need to do it again” rather than “I’m all in, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you!”
Post # 8
Member
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
yeah, I really don’t like the idea of having him repropose
Post # 9
Member
3296 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
Okay that’s definitely cut then.
He has a watch I gave him for our first anniversary, but it’s too small for him now. Maybe I should just have it resized and engraved with Sherry and Alex, est. 2006. ???
I’m not upset about having a long engagement anymore, but I was. I’m over it now and time is a flyin!
Post # 10
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
@sherryberry: I think resizing and engraving the watch is a fantastic idea!
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