(Closed) What do you think when people refer to the wedding as…

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Do you think the wedding is YOUR day as a bride?
    Yes! : (18 votes)
    11 %
    No way : (93 votes)
    58 %
    In some ways...I'll explain below : (49 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    It is OUR day. I honestly have not gone with vendors because they say stuff like this. I basically say “sorry, it is actually our day. Thanks for your time.” Nothing seriously pisses me off more. If I was getting married to myself, then yes it would be MY DAY! But my Fiance is involved and he has as much say as I do. I mean he is paying half the costs. 

    I have also boycotted places who use similar tatics to get me to register/buy their wedding stuff. I am a woman, not a little F&*# princess.

    Post # 4
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I voted “in some ways.” Primarily it was “our” day because it was all about joining us as a couple. But realistically, there just were not many things my dh cared about (food, venue, music. thats it). So for the other stuff it kind of was “my day” because all my dh wanted was for me to be happy. if it wasn’t for me we wouldn’t have even had a wedding because he would have been just as happy to elope to vegas! lol. (although in the end he did tell me that he was glad we did it and it was worth all the money– *cue symphony* lol)

    Post # 5
    15963 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    To be honest, if a vendor has said this to me, I haven’t noticed. And yes, it absolutely is our day. But my fiance also understands that I’ve been fantasizing more about the wedding day than he has. So while I certainly don’t make all the final decisions, he cares very much about me being happy.

    Post # 6
    15963 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    @CorgiTales: Yep, that’s pretty much what I was trying to say, too. 🙂

    Post # 7
    642 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    This sort of thing drives me nuts.  I also see it on the WB boards a lot when it comes to the bride’s choice of dress (“it’s your day, don’t worry about what he thinks of your dress”).  I guess I don’t understand why it has to be top secret.  I involved my Fiance when looking in magazines and online so I would have an idea of what he likes.  I picked out his tux, why shouldn’t he get a say in what I wear?  Okay, enough with that tangent.  I wholeheartedly believe that the day belongs to the couple and their families.  And friends for that matter.  That’s why we chose to invite the people we did…so they can be a part of the day with us.  Every decision we’ve made so far has been to make sure our family and friends are the most comfortable and having the most amount of fun to help us celebrate.

    Seriously, if our caterer said that in front of my Fiance, I am sure he would correct him/her!  I know I get my way more often, but I like to think it’s proportional to the amount of time I put into the planning.  My Fiance is very involved in the decision making, but I am the one doing a lot of the legwork.  So if I really push for something, he might give in, but a lot of the time we end up compromising.  In fact, we just did so the other night.  I picked out all the songs to be used in our ceremony, but he didn’t like two. We agreed he could choose two and I would choose two.  I wanted to walk down the aisle to an instrumental version of Coldplay’s Yellow.  He wanted Canon in D.  So I “traded” his song choice for the attendant’s processional for my walk down the aisle!  We still picked two each…it’s just that the bridesmaids will walk to Coldplay and me to Pachelbel 🙂

    Post # 8
    5118 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @CorgiTales: Same here. I want it to be our day, but with Mr.ND really just not having an opinion one way or the other on centerpieces or cake, etc, it’s more like it’s ‘our day as styled by me.’ Lol.

    Post # 9
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    To me it’s obnoxious. Remember on Sex and the City when Charlotte was whining non stop about “This is supposed to be MY day!!!”

    It’s about the couple. The COUPLE!


    Post # 10
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’d say in some ways too.. Because it is OUR day as a couple, but I have already gotten the “its your day, you do whatever you want” speach. Fiance isn’t too picky and does actually think (and said) its more about the girl than the guy for weddings.. But I still ask for his opinions and get him involved. If its something important that I want him to make a decision on too, I research first and ask questions. Then I narrow it down to my top 3 and he chooses which one he likes the most. That seems to work well for everything (even picking out paint colors for our house). I still want to make sure he is happy with my ideas so its not just all about me and my day.. We both are celebrating with our family and friends. But he doesn’t care what the centerpieces look like or what kind of bouquet I will have. He wants me to be happy too and will contribute when he wants to.

    Post # 13
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I certainly don’t consider it “my” day but it seems like everyone else does.

    I agree with @vaness13181 – I think the day should belong to everyone since a wedding is really about the coming together of family and friends in the celebration of love.

    Cheesy, I know =P

    Post # 14
    2907 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Yeah, I get frustrated with vendors when they tell us that, and it’s so much worse in front of him because I know he needs it to be clear that it’s OURS. But really it’s also our families’.


    Our marriage, their wedding. haha

    Post # 15
    3148 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @MM423: Through the whole wedding planning and kept saying its “our day” etc. but as the day progessed and things got clser it did become more about me (not by choice…) and when i got the pictures back i remember humming and saying “i guess it is all about the bride” and Darling Husband responded…”did you JUST figure that out!!” *laugh*

    Post # 16
    1126 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    The wedding as a whole is of course “our day.”  But I’m doing 85% of the work (that’s generous), mainly because I actually care about the details and because I’m so anal that I would just stand over FI’s shoulder the whole time anyway.  I obviously run all major decisions by him, and we’re certainly discussed every aspect of the day.

    On our wedding day, it will be OUR day, celebrating us as a couple.  However, our wedding is mainly MY labor of love, and will be MY vision coming to fruition.  So while our wedding day is not MY DAY, our wedding is in a lot of ways MY PROJECT.  Which is why I don’t get bent out of shape when people call it “my day.”  I never refer to it that way, but after 9 months of planning and just under 3 more to go, I will certainly be very proud of the end result and feel a little more ownership than Fiance will.  Not of our marriage, but of that day.

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