What do you wish you knew? (Prior to having a baby?)

posted 5 months ago in Babies
Post # 31
Hostess
8527 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

clipclop1023 :  Hey bee, I am recently married and we are planning on TTC early next year. I just wanted to say what a great thread! I will be keeping a close eye on it. 

Post # 32
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

Just chiming in on the TTC part since you haven’t started yet. You might get pregnant your first time trying or you might have to have to seek medical help. You will not know until you start trying but just be prepared that it might take you longer (or shorter) than you expected and that’s OK! And just in case it takes longer, I **highly** advise not telling anyone when you start TTC. Otherwise everyone will ask you how it’s going or make comments on the length of time it did take. Best of luck!! 

Post # 33
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

LilliV :  pooping after delivery wasn’t bad at all for me 🤷 

Wish someone told me that the first 3months are horrible but then after that the good times come! You develop a special bond with your baby(ies), can’t wait to see them if you’re away a few hours, and when you catch them staring at you, smiling, your heart squeels lol. So worth it. ♥️

Post # 34
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lifeisbeeutiful :  I remember sobbing in my best friends arms about a week post-partum and saying “you suck! why didn’t you tell me I’d be crying every day!” and she was like “oh shit….yea I blocked this part out, sorry, it stops in a few weeks”. 

Post # 35
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Also in reference to the baby blues. You may not even realize you actually have them until you don’t. I didn’t feel sad or want to be away from my baby or anything like that. I just felt very hollow, like whatever filled me up and made me a person suddenly wasn’t there anymore. All I wanted to do was be alone with my baby – I didn’t want to see my friends or my family, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to sit alone in my house with my baby and for no one to bother me.

It wasn’t until my husband told me he was taking me out of town to see his family because he was worried about me that I realized something was really wrong. Like intellectually, I knew something was *off* and I wasn’t acting like myself but it wasn’t until I saw how concerned everyone else around me was that I realize, oh fuck, this isn’t normal. 

Post # 36
Member
5567 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

slomotion :  awwwww I’m sorry 😞 I’m glad your husband made you aware

I’ve been treated for various anxiety disorders by the same nurse practitioner for over a decade. I was really worried when I got pregnant based on my history. I talked to my now husband as well as my nurse practitioner and I signed a release so my husband could talk to her with any concerns, if I wasn’t being receptive to him.

I ended up not having any issues, the pregnancy hormones actually calmed my anxiety, my anxiety didn’t become a problem until I started to wean my daughter… but it was a comfort to know that if I was in a really bad way and thought I was fine and my husband couldn’t get through to me, he would be able to talk to my np

Post # 37
Member
1997 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

slomotion :  i could never tell if i had the baby blues, i honestly chalked it up to lack of sleep. When i dont get good sleep constantly, i turn into either a b*tch so in turn i tend to avoid everything cause i dont want to be a b*tch for no reason, so i guess some people could see that as shutting down. 

My d.h. at one point asked if i was suffering from depression, but i honestly didnt feel depressed i was just beyond tired feeling the majority of the first month pp. So maybe i was depressed but didnt realize it???

Post # 38
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Another thing I wanted to mention: never say never!

I think a lot of people, before they have babies, always say things like: “when I have a kid, I’m never going to let them do x, y, z!” And then, lo and behold, they become a parent themselves and reality sets in and they realize how silly they were saying those type of things. So yes, maybe you really really really didn’t want to co-sleep. But maybe that’s the only way you find yourself able to get any sort of rest. That’s okay! You know what they say about the best laid plans…

Post # 39
Member
6312 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

shanmia :  Yes!  The clusterfeeding.  My daughter clusterfed twice a day for 9 weeks, for 2-8 hours at a time (minimal breaks in between).  Clusterfeeding can last up to 3 months.  

Post # 40
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

clipclop1023 :  I think everyone covered a lot of what I would have said….so I’ll just add a few things.

1) baby clothes- there are so many cute baby clothes but in the beginning at least for me I found easy to get on and off baby was key! So for me I had a winter baby so sleepers that zipped not snapped were essential!! When you are changing your baby out of their outfits bc they peed or pooped on it or spit it….you wont want to be trying to work through all those snaps! ‘Im convinced people who make those button sleepers hate parents! Now that my baby is almost 7 months and she doesnt ruin her outfits as often I can handle more snaps and difficult clothing but in the beginning…pick clothes that are simple!!

2) No matter what you read in this thread, or classes you take, or how much you think you are prepared for a baby….you cant prepare for how it will change your life! So just go with it….it will all come together! 

3) You also can’t prepare for how much you will love your baby! The smallest little things they do can light up your whole day and turn a bad day into a great day. Just little things like when they laugh or reach and grab your nose for the first time!

4) PP weren’t exaggerating when they said pooping after having a baby the first time is scary! It is! Def take stool softeners. 

 

Post # 41
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

tastastic :  Ditto the emotions!  I don’t think I had any sort of PPD with my 2 babies, but before babies I was the type that almost never cried over anything – sad movies, whatever – nothing.  Now after babies, I cry at the drop of a hat!  Stupid sappy video on facebook, ASPCA commercial, seeing my toddler be sweet to her baby sister – cue blubbering.  

Post # 42
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Sorry, but I just keep thinking of more…

In the first few weeks you’ll find yourself saying this a lot: “He can’t be hungry again already though, can he?!?!” Yes. Yes he can. 

Also being a mom some days you will totally feel like Super Woman. It’s amazing what we are capable of sometimes!

And the amount of pain you are willing to put up with just in order to put a smile on your baby’s face is ridiculous. My son is almost 17 months old and I call myself the human jungle gym. I have bruises all over because his favorite pastime right now is climbing me. Does it hurt when his little toes jam in my sides and pinch my skin? YES! Is it worth it when I hear the giggles? YES! 

Post # 43
Member
5567 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

llevinso :  I was on the couch with my newborn daughter and she started to stir again and I was like… you JUST finished eating. How are you awake and hungry again??

I looked at the clock and found that she was stirring because two hours had passed, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch while feeding her 😆

Post # 44
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

llevinso :  I knew a mom who was convinced her son was just awful and fussy. She was breastfeeding according to a strict schedule and if he cried she’d think he couldn’t possible be hungry again already and so she’d do a million other things for the next hour or two trying to get him to settle. We were like “just give him the boob!” She finally did and he was a completely different baby once he wasn’t hungry all the freaking time. Babies don’t give a shit about your schedules. 

Post # 45
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

LilliV :  EXACTLY! In the first two months it was ridiculous how often my son wanted to feed. Sometimes he’d go for 2 hours in between feedings and other times literally only 15 minutes would pass before he was hungry again. Newborns are monsters!

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