(Closed) What do you wish you'd done before kids?

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We’re about a year out from TTC, but one conversation that I’m so glad we had was about how long we’re comfortable leaving our future children with relatives for us to go on vacations. I don’t expect many people to agree with me, but it’s important to me and my FH that we take vacations just the two of us even after we have kids. Our logic is that not having a strong marriage won’t exactly be doing our kids any favors.

We spoke to my mom recently and we all agreed that we’d be okay with leaving any kids with her for a couple of weeks or so, so that FH and I could have couples vacations in peace, like a road trip. It’s not that we couldn’t travel before TTC, but realistically, it’s not like we’ll ever be done with traveling/vacationing. 

Post # 3
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Something we did when I was about 7 months pregnant was we had a day of sloth. Sleeping in, eating a huge breakfast at a diner, napping, setting up our computer in our bedroom and binge watching tv. It was glorious!

also more on the little side of things, relish every morning that you wake up naturally. I have woken up to the sounds of a baby every single day (and several times a night) for 8 months. I miss waking up naturally, sneaking out of the bedroom and having a quiet cup of coffee. 

Post # 5
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We plan on TTC this fall (a compromise as DH wanted to try immediately) so I wish we had more time to travel together.  He’s already 35 (and I am 31) so I understand why he’s anxious.  He’s traveled a lot more than me and we have been on a few trips together, just kind of wish we had more time.  We are planning on one more trip in November to California so hopefully that will be fine if I’m already pregnant.

Post # 6
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
nearlymrshill :  a big holiday is a great idea! We went to Croatia before TTC and we have such great memories of it. Enjoy! 

Post # 8
7351 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

When I was about 17 my aunt had her second “late in life baby”. One day, while she was sitting on the couch, exhausted, she told me about how she had done so many things in her life before having kids that she didn’t feel like she was missing out on anything by being a stay at home mom of two at that point in her life.

I’m always so grateful that she told me that because when I got to college and other points in life, when some of my friends were getting started (early) having children, I had my personal list of things I wanted to do first and I was able to get through pretty much everything.

I do wish my SO and I had done more traveling together and, especially international trips. I’ve done a lot on my own but not as a couple. Now, we’re trying to plan our honeymoon but we’ve got a kid and a dog and a cat and a house and it’s so much more effort (so much so that every time we start talking about it I keep saying “Nevermind, I don’t want to talk about it right now.”) I’m just not at all motivated to figure it out. I love my family and the life we’ve built together but I do miss some of the previous ease of my get up and go life of before.

Post # 9
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I wanted to travel so much more before we started to ttc. It’s not going to happen most likely. We may do a trip as we are ttc to Europe or a baby moon to Hawaii but that’s probably the best case scenario I can hope for. I’ll be 29 tomorrow, my moms disable so I’ve spent most of my 20s financially supporting  her and giving up travel and babies and all that jazz. My husband is pushing on ttc till my mom has her back surgery and we sell the house I own with her.(god willing the surgery will happen early fall and the house will be sold early 2018) We could push back ttc more to travel but I really want to be done by 32 and I want two kids. 32 makes my husband 34 and he can retire at 55 so the goal is to get them through college so they can find a good job with benefits because a lot of his coworkers are having to stay longer to keep their kids healthcare costs down.

I’ve spent way too much time thinking about this stuff. :/

Post # 10
2691 posts
Sugar bee

I wish I’d worn more midriff tops.

Post # 11
2008 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re gonna travel a ton before we ttc. Mauritius this year, Australia next year, Africa the year after. Asia at some point. Travelling with kids is hard and can suck so we want to do that more before we have one. 

Post # 14
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

So I just found out I’m pregnant a month ago and we’re actually in the middle of putting our house up for rent and moving. Turns out you can’t do a lot of DIY construction while you’re pregnant and it seems to me like you wouldn’t want to do it with a newborn in the house. Painting, mortor for tiles, moving heavy things, all kinds of stuff. For us as big DIY homeowners and being on a budget, this is a pretty big setback. Mostly it means DH has twice as much work to do in the same time and has to get friends to help with the heavy stuff. I’d say get any house projects out of the way first. Not as fun as travel, but still worth thinking about. 

Post # 15
4259 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

We plan on TTC next year and I want to take one more big trip with hubby. We had a blast in Orlando and Bermuda this year, and are hoping to do Spain/Italy/Greece next year. Once we lock down a date to travel, I’ll be able to plan when we will start TTC. I have the worst baby fever so 2018 feels so far away, even though the first half of this year totally flew by. 

I would like to move into a more child friendly home before a baby comes, but moving with a baby isn’t impossible, just more of a pain. We currently live in the trendy part of the city and it’s great because it’s fun for now and our property value keeps increasing, but I want to move back to the suburbs (better school districts), have a fenced in back yard and a bigger, newer home with a lot of upgrades. 

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