Post # 1
My BM’s and 5 of my girlfreinds are taking me to somewhere nearby for a weekend for my bachelorette party!! What am I supposed to pay for? Initially they were going to take me to Vegas and said they couldn’t afford it, and wanted me to pay for hotel and airfare and I told them i didn’t want to pay for hotel and airfare and if they couldn’t afford it, I didn’t have to have a destination bachelorette party. Now it’s supposedly planned, and I know nothing about it. I keep reading how the bride isn’t supposed to pay for anything, but I feel guilty. When we get there, what will I be expected to pay for?
Post # 3
Wow, that’s a tough situation. To answer your Q – every bachelorette party I’ve ever gone to, we never let her pay for anything (flight & hotel might be an exception though) but I don’t think there’s a set rule.
When I got engaged both my MOH’s were like “Wooo! Puerto Rico or Vegas here we come!” I put the brakes on that with the quickness. My Bachelorette rules were simple – no strippers. penis pops (or straws, necklaces, etc). and NO planes. Once you add flight & tax, hotel rooms, food AND boozing/clubbing for a weekend – it adds up quick.
No one in our crew can really afford it these days plus some people have kids, mortgages, their own weddings to plan etc. I think it’s sad too because I want all my girlfriends there if they can, not just the ones who can afford it. My MOH’s totally understood & picked a place within driving distance. Maybe if you explain what you want vs. what they want they’ll re-think Vegas? Good luck!! 🙂
Post # 4
i don’t think there are any set rules on that. i’ve never been to a bachelorette party where the bride paid for anything though. for mine they took me to vermont, which meant flight, hotel, day tours, rental car, food, play, etc, and they wouldn’t let me pay for ANYTHING except my gifts to take home with me of course. literally, i wanted to pay for my breakfast and they’d say no. i felt bad, but now i know to start saving so i can pay my sister back when she gets married!
Post # 5
I paid for a lot of the food at mine. We were going to have sandwiches and potato salad and sodas and stuff at my place so I stocked up and just made sure we all had enough snackies on hand!
Post # 6
I wasn’t expected (or allowed!) to pay for anything at mine.
Post # 7
I didnt pay for anything at all at mine…but everyone came to me in NYC. Had we flown somewhere, Im not sure…
Post # 8
I kind of got the shaft at mine. I had to plan some of mine (or majorly prod my Maid/Matron of Honor along to plan it), book the hotels for everyone, pay for my own hotel, and pay for some of my food. Luckily some of my friends bought me drinks, my mom bought my dinner meal and my aunts bought me drinks at dinner, and the rest of the time the bars usually let me in without paying cover and some bars even gave me a free drink. I did have two nice friends who brought some games, penis cupcakes, and even bought me a nice gift!
The thing I was most pissed about was paying for my part of the hotel room that I was sharing with everyone else. It was kind of weird to have to pitch in for the pizza that we all decided to order at 3AM too. But oh well, it was still a fun weekend.
I won’t be pitching in at more bachelorette parties in the future. I pitched in and bought drinks and stuff at all the bachelorette parties my friends had in the past and when it came time for those specific friends to do that for me they dropped the ball.
Post # 9
Yea I think asking them to pay for flight and hotel is a lot.
Typically the BM’s should pay for everything within reason. I know for one wedding I was in, she really wanted to do some type of “desination” so she payed for some of it so that it was possible for the rest of us.
Post # 10
I didn’t pay for anything at mine, but since my mom was there she picked up the tab on renting the van to drive us (and she drove!) and my meal. I have become an uber lightweight and that day I had been drinking early because it was also my shower and so I didn’t drink much at night, but nobody would let me pay either. Every bachelorette party I have been to the bride hasn’t paid anything. If they are trying to keep it a surprise (thats kind of what it sounds like), I would bring some cash in case you are expected to pay for something, but chances are you won’t have to.
Post # 11
I don’t really think you should have to pay for anything… I could see paying for hotel/flight, but if you are doing it locally and THEY are planning it, you should not be expected to contribute in my opinion.
Post # 12
I know you feel guilty because I did too but you really shouldnt be paying for anything for your Bachelorette party (in my opinion). Now if you wanted something really expensive and thats what you had to have I think it would be a different story.
Post # 13
The bride doesnt (and shouldn’t) pay anything as she is the guest of honor. At the same time, the bridesmaids should not plan a party they can’t afford.
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I wouldn’t make someone pay for the birthday party I throw them, and the bride shouldn’t have to pay anything for her bachelorette, either! Bridesmaids should plan the bach party they can afford to host.
Post # 15
I think that they bridesmaids and moh should pick what they can afford to do and then decide and plan something like that.
I do think it is okay if you are traveling far or expecting something more expensive to help out
Post # 16
Ok, I think if the bride wants a destination party then its ok and a little helpful to pitch in. However, if the party plans a destination as a suprise to the bride, I would think it be rude to ask the bride to help pay. I know I would want to be consulted first bc I could not afford a destination party before my wedding. Other than the destination scenarios, every Bridal Party I’ve been too, we do not allow the bride to pay for anything. It is her night.