(Closed) What Does Being “Engaged” Mean to You?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What do you think an engagement is?
    The period of time in which to plan a wedding (if you can plan it in 6mo, why be engaged for 6yrs). : (97 votes)
    38 %
    A public announcement of your intent to marry -- whether it be 6 months down the road, or 6 years. : (146 votes)
    58 %
    Other (please explain). : (10 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Too funny! I just replied to your other post, saying basically the same thing – that I find these different definitions interesting!

    Post # 5
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Hrm… Good question! I’ve never really put much thought into that before! I voted for the “intent to marry” since that fits my views better… But my Fiance and I have had that intent for atleast 2 years prior to our actual engagement and I’m pretty sure most people knew- it just wasn’t “official.” In reality, I think we used engagement more as a time to plan the wedding… but more out of necessity- it had to get planned some time!

    But, in general, I think its different for everyone. I truely don’t think there is a right or wrong answer- just different ones 🙂

    Post # 6
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    I donno, I voted planning a wedding but really it’s just how the couple defines it. 

    I guess the reason I’m more hesitant when it’s an engagement longer than a couple years is a lot of marriages don’t even last that long.  And if there’s a reason to wait that long to get married then there might be a reason to not make the announcement of engagement yet.   But I agree that for awhile bf/gf sounded way too informal.  So, I donno, there’s no right answer, it’s whatever works for you.

    For us, I’m completely the girl you mentioned.  No ring, just a wonderful proposal and a 4 mo engagement where we planned like crazy.  Once we made that commitment, for us we had no reason to wait.

    Post # 7
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    For us, it was announcing our intention to get married, but it was also saying that we were ready to start planning. I can’t say that it was just the announcement of our intention, because everyone we knew was aware that we planned to get married before we were engaged. 

    At the same time, we’re not booking things yet since we are having a 2 1/2 year engagement. We’re planning, but at a more leisurely pace. We both wanted a long engagement for that reason – we’re busy and need extra time to plan, so I suppose that was part of it. 

    Post # 9
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i don’t think it needs to be a “public” announcement of your intent to marry. for me it was just for me and my husband, showing our commitment for each other and letting each other know we want to spend the rest of our lives together.

    Post # 11
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    So here is another reason I voted for actual planning.  For us intent was always there.  I wouldn’t have had a serious bf without the intent being a future together.  And everyone knew that was our intention (though we still knew how we wanted to grow before we were ready to make that commitment).  So to announce that marriage was our intention would have been like ‘no crap’.  So for us engagement was reaching the point where we were now making plans to make a wedded commitment. 

    Post # 12
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    A public announcement of our intent to marry in the near future. Personally, I don’t like to be kept waiting: if you’re going to commit to something, commit to it and make it happen. It would drive me crazy to have a long engagement when I knew I could have the wedding in a short amount of time and move on to new adventures…namely, building our life together.

    But I’m not doing the “move in, buy a house/car/pet together before getting married” thing. I guess that’s why a lot of couples don’t mind a long engagement? They’ve already combined their lives in most tangible aspects, so the engagement/wedding would be more of a public announcement than a big change in their personal life. Whereas in my situation, a long engagement would delay more important matters for the sake of a party.

    So basically, I think that the meaning of marriage for couples heavily influences the meaning of engagement. In my case, engagement means “let’s get this show on the road!” 😛

    Post # 14
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I checked “other,” but I guess it is mostly #2, intent to marry.  Though for me the point was not so much the announcement part of it, but the decision we made together.  For me, the wedding ceremony was the second part of a process of making a lifetime committment, but the engagement was a very big deal to me.

    But I can also see how someone would vote for #1 and #2… I mean it is about planning and practicalities, after all, no matter what kind of wedding you have!

    Post # 15
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Interesting views, mine was: A public announcement of your intent to marry, I started out trying to plan it in 6 months,  but had a reality check that it was not going to happen so I changed it to a year later lol.  I wanted and he wanted every one to know about our engagement, but how every long it take to get married is up to the couple.

    Post # 16
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    I think engaged = planning to be married in a do-something sometime way. as in, one step past promise ring but you don’t have to have a ring or a date. just the intent.

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