- 4 years ago
SO and I have been together a year, and along the way I’ve noticed some interesting little comments that he has been making – which have been increasing in frequency lately.
I’d like to preface this with: I’ve thought about marriage just like the majority of women have…however I never really saw it as a reality for myself because, to be blunt, I’m rather independent and haven’t been able to envision myself putting up with someone long enough for all of that stuff. But here I am, in a great relationship that I’m beginning to think could head in that direction someday.
So, having never dealt with this in previous relationships, I wanted to get some opinions on these comments SO likes to make.
“Your parents got you for 25 years, and I get you for the next 25.” (this was in reference to how we’ll be splitting holidays this year)
“Do you want to go to *specific place* with me in a couple years…if you haven’t dumped me?”
“Oh, look, there’s *my name* in 40 years, being a spinster because she dumped *his name*.” (this is his new favorite thing since he learned what a spinster is)
“I’ll buy you a house here.” (in reference to a beach house – he also asks what area in our current town I’d most like to live and if I’d ever consider moving)
“What if I were to ask you something more important one day? Would you say ‘No’ to that too?” (in reference to when he asked me to be his girlfriend…I’d had a few drinks and said “No” jokingly, because I found it funny since we were basically already boyfriend/girlfriend. Kind of regret that now, but oh well)
So what do you think? I’ve heard, “Men like to talk a big game and you shouldn’t take what they say too seriously,” and “Men don’t talk about things like that when they don’t mean something by it.” Hence, confusion.
All this being said, I’m perfectly aware that some people don’t consider a year to be a long time at all, and that some people believe marriage shouldn’t even be a conversation yet. That’s why I’m hesitant to ask him about any of these comments – I don’t want to seem like I’m “that crazy girlfriend” or pushing some agenda. For all I know he could just be messing around.
Bottom Line: I’ve never had a boyfriend say any of these things to me before, and I don’t want to read too much into anything. Have any of you, married, engaged or otherwise, ever dealt with this?
P.S. What is with the continual “If you haven’t dumped me,” etc. talk?