(Closed) What does it indicate when your friends don't send you a wedding card?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe it’s nothing personal but they just didn’t think about it? When you elope a gift isn’t necessary and a lot of people group cards into that. And, a lot of people don’t really care about cards in the first place.

Post # 4
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ibiza1987:  If many of your friends are not even engaged, they probably don’t know the etiquette/traditions. Honestly, before joining weddingbee I had a TON of family/friends who eloped and it never dawned on me to send them anything at all. I mean, I just assumed it was like a birthday- no party=no gift. 

Post # 5
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I doubt it’s because they are bitter or jealous. If you elope, you really can’t expect gifts from people who weren’t invited. It would have been nice of them to send a congrats card, but if they weren’t invited to the wedding, they aren’t really under any obligation to get you anything, from an etiquette standpoint. It probably just didn’t occur to them to get you anything since you didn’t have a “wedding” from their perspective. I wouldn’t take it personally.

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ibiza1987:  I think it means that they got the announcement, put it somewhere and promptly forgot….with the holidays, the New Year and everyone running to get a jump on 2013, it’s easy to have something like that fall on the wayside…getting upset about it is not going to do any good, they aren’t making a statement, they’re just busy….

Post # 7
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t read too much into it. I personally hate receiving cards, and only send them on a rare occasion. I would probably give a card with a wedding gift, but for a couple that eloped the thought probably wouldn’t cross my mind.

Post # 8
Member
6355 posts
Bee Keeper

Anything from “They’re forgetful people” to “They don’t really believe in cards and gifts (particularly for elopements)” to “They hate you” to “It got lost in the mail.”

By itself, I wouldn’t take it as a sign of anything in particular. It doesn’t mean they’re not happy for you. If it’s one sign of many they they’re miserable that you’re married though…. then they probably are.

Post # 9
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It doesn’t mean anything. I’m not sure how old you are, but we were young when we got married and got almost no cards – my friends didn’t know the etiquette and didn’t take the time to mail us a card. That doesn’t mean they weren’t excited for us! It’s not super typical now to send snail mail anyway (again, depending on how old you are).

Post # 10
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with PPs. They either don’t know the etiquette or that you’d care about receiving a card or gift. They may also feel that since you eloped and chose not to celebrate with family and friends as guests, that there’s really no reason or need to send a card. I’m not saying that your friends shouldn’t care, if they love you and of course should be happy for you. However, you’re basically wanting attention and are miffed that your friends didn’t acknowledge something that you never really celebrated yourself. You had every right to elope, but without the traditional ceremony and reception and overall “wedding” thing going on, less people in your life may take the time to acknowledge it. 

Post # 12
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it just means they forgot or maybe don’t know that they should have if they didn’t actually attend an event. I wouldn’t take it personally.

Post # 14
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wouldn’t have known to send a card in this situation… I’m not a very good card sender! I’d hate to think of any of my friends agonising over whether it meant anything!

Post # 15
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

They probably just didn’t think about it very hard, most people don’t remember to do stuff like that unless they’re actually invited to something. It sucks but I don’t think it’s a personal slight against you or anything. 

Post # 16
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It indicates that sending cards isn’t really their top priority.  Some people like to send cards for things, some don’t.  It’s becoming increasingly less popular and common, I think.  I only send cards to my two best friends and to family members.  I’m in your age group, and really, giving gifts without an occasion isn’t something I would have known to do.

Don’t overanalyze it!  I’m sure they’re just not even aware that you’d be expecting anything, and are very happy for you!

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