(Closed) What does MOG do before the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I love my Mother-In-Law so it wasn’t an issue for me to invite her to get ready with us. She declined though b/c she has her own hair stylist that she wanted to use. She just got ready at home and then came to watch us finish up getting ready.

Post # 4
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you should invite her to get ready with all of you. even if she declines, it’s the gesture that counts and it would be quite a snub if you left her out.

Post # 5
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I haven’t gotten married yet, but you have a few options.

1) I think the most traditional morning-of activity is for her to participate in the girls getting ready activities.

2) If you think your stress level would be better if she was less present, you can probably incorporate a few errands or changes of scenery to give yourself some room.  Maybe ask her to swing by the florist to pick up the flowers?  Also, if you’re sending a photographer to the guys’ getting ready location, maybe you could arrange to have some pre-wedding shots of mother and son… so she could get ready with you gals but then have a VERY important meeting for once-in-a-lifetime photos that you so GRACIOUSLY arranged for her to have.  Best of both worlds, maybe?

3) If you think it’s going to be a big problem, I’d assign a Bridesmaid or Best Man to be a peacekeeper… converse with Future Mother-In-Law when she needs someone to talk to instead of getting involved in stuff she doesn’t need to be involved in, that sort of stuff.

Good luck!

Post # 6
1124 posts
Bumble bee

My Future Mother-In-Law and I are on good terms, so I would include her in anything I’d include Bridesmaid or Best Man and MOB in (getting ready). Do you have a day of planner? Maybe she can check to make sure the set up of your venue is going smoothly – table linens straight, centerpieces arranged correctly, making sure the groomsmen are all looking dapper, whatever. She’ll feel like she has control while staying out of your hair.

Post # 7
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I plan on inviting my “high strung” Mother-In-Law as well, but knowing her she’ll probably try to hang out with Fiance, which is fine too! But I am definitely putting it out there!

Post # 9
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

sure invite her to get ready with yall in the morning–idk–i would have a few backup ideas…in case she starts making things more stressful than they need to be. like say omg! we didnt pick up enough plates! or we need more ice!! can you get us some more wine? the florist forgot a centerpiece! or it could even be like oo! i left my bouquets upstairs/in the other room would you care to go get it…or something. give you some opportunities to have a moment of peace. idk, not sayin starting off the relationship this way is a good thing…but for one day its about you & your FH to be happy & if you’re stressed—you can’t be as happy as you want to be.

p.s.–if she starts being reluctant…i’d clue in your bridal party & maybe they can go with her to do stuff so she doesn’t feel singled out.

Post # 10
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Me and the Mother-In-Law don’t get along.  So for her, she hung around with her son and the other groomsmen.  Me and my BMs did makeup and got dressed together.

Does she want to miss watching her son get ready for his big day?  We got some good photos of her and my Darling Husband while getting ready.  Maybe you could spin it that way.

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