(Closed) What does 'older mum' mean to you?

posted 8 months ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
2061 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Well, I have no idea, but I was TTC at 43/44. A friend of mine had her twin daughters at 45 and another had an “opps” baby at 46. No one in my local circle had kids under 35. Obviously, if you know you want children and it’s the right time, it might prove less complicated to try sooner rather than later, but, in general, “older mom” doesn’t really mean much to me and I would laugh at anyone who tried to use that term or implied that age was a factor in my parenting (if I had kids).

Post # 3
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee

I think this is all really relative to your area. In NYC or other big cities in the US, it’s common for women not to have kids until their mid-late 30s so no one would call you an “older mom,” whereas in the rural midwest or south, having your first kid after 30 might qualify as “older.” 

Post # 4
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

EllyAnne :  My parents had me when they were 36, and now that I’m 31 but my mom is older than most of my friends parents but I don’t consider her an “old mom”, she is energetic and fun to hang out with! My aunt had her kids in her early 40’s, and same thing- she’s in great shape, is energetic and a fun mom to her young kids. 

I’m still on the fence about children but if we decide to do it it wont be for another few years, putting me close to 35 when we start trying. 

I think these days its a lot more “normal” to start having kids later in life, at least in my circle of friends and several of my family members.

Post # 6
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I had my son at 29 and will likely have another at 31. I am one of the first people to have a kid from my friends/high school graduating class/etc. It clearly depends on where you live, but mid-30’s feels almost normal. I’d think of 40s as a bit older. My parents had me when they were 40 and they were always clearly older than my friends’ parents – not an issue, just how it was.

Post # 9
Member
3360 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

A lot of people my age (36, will be 37 next year) are having kids for the first time now. There were definitely people who had babies sooner, but most of the first time moms were 35+. I do live in the NYC area and this is very typical and no one thinks twice about it or thinks any of them are old moms.  Darling Husband and I will start trying next year for the first time and no one has said I was too old to start. 

Post # 10
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

In my area: Anyone who is over 30 at the time of birth is an “old mom.” The magic number seems to be >23 years of age. 

In my opinion: I increase that number to 40. While I don’t consider 40 to be “old,” it is the absolute oldest I would ever want to be while TTC. 

Post # 11
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m not sure what is considered to be an older mom in the medical field but I’d say 40+ is what I’d personally consider to be an older mom.

Post # 12
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

A family member of mine had her first child at 39, and her second at 40. The doctors said at the time that she has the fertility of a 30 year old woman and at 52, she still has regular periods. 

However, her first child does have autism and anxiety/depression and was put on bed rest for her first pregnancy. For her second, she had gestational diabetes.  

An “older” mom doesn’t mean much to me. But generally, it’d be a lot healthier to have children when you are in your early 30s to mid thirties rather than later. A woman having a healthy pregnancy after the age of 35/36 is an exception, not the rule.

I live in California, and older moms are not as common despite living in a liberal state. Most people have their first child by late twenties-early thirties. 

 

Post # 13
Member
9539 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I come from a small, religious town. Almost all my friends from high school are married with at least 2 kids. My brother and his wife just had their firsts and they are 25. My husband and I are 28 and planning on waiting another couple years before TTC. I know people from my hometown would refer to the age we’re planning on TTC (30/31) as old. My mom has already made comments about my age actually.

But outside of that town’s mindset – 30/31 isn’t old at all. I actually feel like it’s still young! I wouldn’t even really start thinking someone was an older parent until at least 40.

Post # 14
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

sarandah :  what part of California are you in? I’m from the Bay and I only know a handful of people who had kids in their twenties. Most everyone we know started well after their 30th birthday.

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