(Closed) What does 'older mum' mean to you?

posted 8 months ago in Babies
Post # 31
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

excitedmamatobee :  

I’m from the suburbs of the Sacramento area. I understand it’s more common in the Bay Area to marry and have children later. I have a cousin in that area who is in her mid thirties and is not yet married and has no children. 

Post # 32
Member
713 posts
Busy bee

An interesting way to look at it: Check out these stats with median age of the moms when they have their first kids by country. If you track outcomes (survival rates of babies- not shown here but it’s readily available!) you may actually be tempted to correlate higher maternal ages with better outcomes.

Of course, you only see better outcomes because of better medical care in the developed world, but that should tell you that maternal age isn’t a factor in determining outcomes, at least it certainly isn’t from early 20s to mid 30s. Note that this table lists maternal age when the first kid is born, and the mother is a few years older if she has a second kid, which is why I’m extrapolating to mid 30s. 

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2256.html

To clarify, the list wasn’t intended to track ages and outcomes, but it can be inferred with some caution. There is actual research  on this specific issue, and it pretty much shows the same thing. 

Post # 33
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

My 26 nearly 27 year old sister just had a baby. She was the youngest in her antenatal class by a long shot she said. An old mum at 35 is BS.

Most women where I live don’t have a baby until early 33s or mid 30s anyway.

It’s all relative to where you live, your social circle etc 

I think closing in on 40 is getting on the older side.

Post # 34
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2018

I live in the south and most of my mid-20s friends have 1-2 kids already. So anything like 35+ with your first would definitely be “old” here, even though it’s the norm elsewhere. 

Post # 35
Member
7442 posts
Busy Beekeeper

EllyAnne :  I think i can really vary by location and socio-economic status. I’m from an upper-middle class, white, college educated background in Boston and most people would assume it was an accident if you were pregnant before 25. Late twenties to mid-thirties is the norm in my circles for those that even want kids. There are other places that would consider you an old maid if you hadn’t popped out 2 or 3 by age 25. 

Post # 36
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

My aunt had 2 kids in her late thirties/early forties and she seemed perfectly healthy throughout. I’ve never thought of her as an older mom. She’s only about 15 years older than me so her kids are still quite young. 

Also most of the moms in my moms group are late twenties to late thirties. I’m one of the youngest at 25. And most have had healthy pregnancies and babies, with those that were high risk not really having anything to do with age. I certainly never think of anyone who’s first baby was born at 35-40 as an old mom. 

Post # 37
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Four Seasons Hotel Los Angeles at Beverly Hills

I live in LA which is similar to NYC. I’m 35 and one of first ones in my immediate social circle (around here) to even get married. My married friends my age on the east coast who live in a fairly large metro area are just starting to have kids now, so in my environment mid 30s or older is pretty common to start a family. I wouldn’t consider it “old.”

that being said I am glad we are starting TTC in a few weeks! 

Post # 38
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017 - France

I’m from the Caribbean and had my son at 26, at the clinic they referred to me as an older mom, most of the women have their first child straight out of High School at my age my mother had me her third child. Now I live in France and I’m considered a young mom. It all depends on where you live. 

Post # 39
Member
629 posts
Busy bee

sarandah :  “A woman having a healthy pregnancy after the age of 35/36 is an exception, not the rule.”

What a completely bullshit thing to say. I don’t suppose you have an actual citation to back that up? 

 

Post # 40
Member
2110 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m in Sydney, Australia. 

I’m 29 and 17 weeks pregnant with my first child. Out of my group of friends (5 of us) I’m the second last to have a baby. 

When I think of “old mum” I think around the 40 mark. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being an older mum btw. 

Post # 41
Member
738 posts
Busy bee

I had my baby at 35, nearly 36. 

I’m the eldest of my group of mummy friends but only by about a month! Our age range is 29-35 (at time of birth).

In my wider circle of friends and family, no-one had kids before 29.

I’m in the south west of the UK. 

The comment about healthy pregnancies after 35 being the exception not the rule is totally wrong based on all current stats and studies in the NHS. 

The NHS do have being over 35 as a risk factor in pregnancy but in my experience, and the experience of my fellow 35+ pregnancy friends, age doesn’t truly become a factor unless you also have other risk factors. None of my health care professionals expressed any concern about my age.

Post # 42
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee

Being an older mum would probably be above the average age of the country/state. It’s not necessarily something negative or something you shouldn’t do. 40 year old going to college would be considered to be old college student, but it’s it’s not a negative.

I’m sure there is medically what is considered to be older mom that comes with the increased risks (my mom had me in her 40’s and I’m perfectly healthy but there are risks related to age of the mother). And then there is socially older mom which is defined by your surroundings. In my circles having kids under the age if 30 would be considered young. Where as in other circles they would be considered older mom.

Post # 43
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I live in the London suburbs and am having my second baby at 34. I was 32 when I had my first. In my NCT group I was one of the youngest with 1 mum in her 40s and another in her late 30s. My age has never been an issue.

 

we had trouble getting pregnant first time round and were approved for NHS funded IVF when we were 32. Our fertility doctor often said we were still young 

Post # 45
Member
6311 posts
Bee Keeper

sarandah :  A woman having a healthy pregnancy after the age of 35/36 is an exception, not the rule.

While the risk of having various issues does somewhat increase statistically at about 35/36 it is completely untrue that having a healthy pregnancy after 35/36 is the exception. Please do your homework before posting such a falsehood. 

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