Post # 1
So my gma is 87 years old and in the hospital. I had posted earlier about her condition. Basically she has given up and told my mom today that she wants to die. She has been in the hospital for over a week now. She had a feeding tube in her nose because after having 2 massive seizures her swallow function is not good. The tube got clogged and they had to remove it. The options were another tube in her nose or one in her belly. She said no to both. She said she doesn’t want any tubes or anything. She said she is just so tired and wants to die. 🙁
Today while my mom was at the hospital visiting her, the palliative care team came in and got her enrolled in that. They said they will make her comfortable. My mom told me to take my kids up tonight tonight to say our goodbyes:(
Couldn’t she get better though with the palliative care? This isnt really the end is it? It can’t be.
Post # 3
Palliative care means they are trying to make the patient as comfortable as possible, for what is usually an incurable condition.
Post # 4
I’m so sorry. 🙁
Palliative care means they will no longer be treating whatever is causing the issue, just mostly treating any pain she has. Especially if she has refused the feeding tube, they may place her on what is called TPN, which is basically the basic nutrients required to live given in their most basic forms through an IV, and IV fluids to keep her from being totally dehydrated. But it means they are waiting for her body to give up. They will make sure she isn’t in any pain, but they have determined that either there is nothing else to do, or she wants them to stop trying. If you can I most certainly suggest getting there soon. How long palliative care lasts is totally dependant on how sick she is and what is causing it. However, this isn’t something one stays on for an extended time, so the sooner the better. Also, depending on how much pain she is in the medicines they give her closer to the end may be stronger so that she may not be as lucid and aware as she is now. I am so sorry!
Post # 5
palliative care is like hospice care.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this right now on top of everything else. Unfortunately, the other bees are right. Palliative care means that they won’t further any treatment at the request of the patient. So it sounds like they’re just trying to make her last days comfortable.
Post # 7
Yes, it is the end. I’m so sorry. I went through this with my grandmother, as well. If I were in her position, i’d want the same thing – no feeding tubes, no dragging it out. It’s a horrible existence, being trapped in your hospital bed like that.
Try to make peace with the fact that she lived a very long life and is going out on her own terms!
Post # 8
Palliative care is a plan of care for patients and their families who have decided that aggressive treatment for an illness is no longer desired or an option. It is about making the patient comfortable for the time that they have left, addressing pain and symptoms, and addressing the emotional and spiritual needs of the patient (and family). It can be a relief and a blessing for the patients and their families and it is fortuante that the hospital your grandma is at has gotten the palliative care team involved. It sounds as though your grandmother is tired and does not want anything aggressive done for her care. As hard as that is, it is important to honor her wishes (only she knows how she feels). That being said, no one has an expiration date marked on their forehead- so while you may want to take your kids up to see her- that doesn’t mean she will be gone tomorrow.
I work in end of life care- so feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
Post # 9
I just really thought she would bounce back this time. She has been in the hospital a few times this past year and was usually out in a week or so. She was still in her own home until this last time she went to the hospital. She had meals on wheels come everyday and a visiting nurse would come in 3 days a week but she was still able to be home. Then on the 21st of June she cancelled her meals on wheels and said she would call if they needed to come again. The 23rd she fell out of bed and went by ambulance to the hospital and was in ICU. The next day they moved her to the medical floor. My mom went up that night to see her and she was chatty and said she would be ok with trying the nursing home. The next morning she was not responsive and was taken to ICU and had two massive seizures. She stayed in ICU for 3 days and then they moved her to the neuro floor and has been there since.
She cant get up by herself or even sit up in bed by herself. She doesn’t want any lights on or the tv on to watch her mass. She lays in the dark hospital room. The nurse I spoke with yesterday said she feels as if she has given up. My mom and I both feel that way.
When my mom was up there today, grandma told her she didn’t want anymore tubes and wanted to die. My mom told her it was ok to go and it was her decision.
I don’t know if grandma was waiting to tell my mom this or not.
Post # 10
Unfotuantely, the PPs are right that this is the beginning of the end. Palliative care will simply make your grandmother comfortable and treat her pain; it won’t treat whatever is making her ill or help her get better.
That said, how long she will survive on palliative care depends on how sick she currently is. It may be a day or two or it may be longer. Either way though, you should take your opportunity for you and your kids to see her before higher doses of pain meds make her less lucid.
Post # 11
@mrskisstobe: Oh hun, I’m so sorry 🙁 Big hugs to you, and of course thoughts & prayers with you & your family!!