What does the bridal party pay for and what do I pay for for them?

posted 4 months ago in Money
Post # 16
Member
11463 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Beyond the dress and a color of shoes, commonly owned, the bride cannot properly impose accessories, jewelry, nail or hair styles or anything else, even if she pays. These are friends, not props on a chorus line. 

Post # 17
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

My bridesmaids bought their own dresses which is customary in my circle. 

In past weddings I’ve been in the bride paid for hair and the bridesmaids paid for makeup. I covered both for my girls.

I also paid for one night of their accomodations (past weddings I’ve been in I’ve paid for accomodations both Friday and Saturday nights). Weddings in my area tend to be on the coast or in the mountains without public transportation or ubers nearby so if there’s drinking people tend to stay for the weekend. 

My girls planned and paid for my bachorette party, they wouldn’t let me cover anything (3 nights a few hour drive away from home). I’ve done the same in the past for bachelorette parties (whether I was a bridesmaid or not). 

Post # 18
Member
2303 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I have been in multiple weddings for friends and so far for all of the weddings, I’ve paid for my bridesmaid dress, hair/makeup, hotels and contribution to the bachelorette and/or shower. 

I am 26 and most of my friends are the same age. With that being said, my friends who have gotten married have kept our budgets in mind. I think it’s fair to not provide these things yourself, but I also think it’s really nice when a bride asks about people’s budget. Let’s say you find Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses you really like that are $200. I think it’s really nice to ask your party if that’s okay. Personally, I really like when a bride allows her Bridesmaid or Best Man to pick any dress that falls within the color range. 

I also think it’s kind of rude for a bride to require her party to get their hair and makeup done. I always do it myself to save money, and I wouldn’t want to be required to spend upwards of $100 just for hair and makeup.

Post # 19
Member
2303 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

weddingmaven :  Yes very true! 

I did have a bride that gifted all of the bridesmaids earrings as our Bridesmaid or Best Man gift and we all wore them to the wedding. I think that’s fair. Again, you can’t require them to wear things like that like weddingmaven said. 

Post # 20
Member
884 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

” Bridesmaids dresses, hair and makeup, hotel accommodations, and the bachelorette party”

I live in the US. Bridesmaids pay for all of this themselves in my circle. Hair and makeup should be optional – if they don’t want to pay, they can do their own. Almost every bachelorette party I’ve attended, we pay for the bride. So you are not only paying for yourself but also covering the bride’s share. 

Post # 21
Member
4814 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

In my circles the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses, shoes and maybe hair and makeup if they are doing it. Bridesmaids pay for hotels but this is rarely required anyway. In my group bridesmaids pay for the brides portion of the hen but in some circles the bride pays their own way. 

I think it makes much sense that the couple pay for all the wedding party outfits and I’m glad this is how it is done in the UK. 

Post # 22
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee

Here it’s normal for the wedding party to pay for their own outfits and accommodation – BUT anything they pay for they need to be consulted on. 

For example: If they have to pay for their dresses, you have to ask them their budget and involve them in choosing it or let them choose it themselves. And you don’t have to pay for professional hair and makeup, but if you don’t then it has to be optional. 

Here everyone usually pitches in on the bachelorette. Sometimes the wedding party or all guests will pay for the bride, but not always. Also the bridal party plans it and therefor decides the budget. You can’t decide yourself that you want a destination bachelorette and then have them pick up the tab.

And then you should get each of them a nice gift for the day. 

Post # 23
Member
429 posts
Helper bee

beethree :  She’s in Iowa. A weekend trip to Chicago is not at all huge deal – people do it all the time, it’s only a few hours. In fact, I would say this is a great budget roadtrip for a fun weekend without breaking the bank, especially for a larger group so you can probably all drive there (saying this as someone is from Chicago area and went to school in Iowa).

cbix :  OP, my wedding was in the Midwest as well (Chicago suburbs). I paid for partial hotel costs, bouquets, robes, jewelry, and gifts. Hubs paid for Groomsmen ties and pocket squares. Everyone paid for their own dresses/suits. Breakfast and shuttle at the hotel was already complementary. Everyone did their own makeup on their own while I got mine done – it saved a lot of time to do things simultaneously. In retrospect, I would have just paid for the whole room cost or dresses and cut down on other fluff. I think they would have appreciated that more, to be honest. It also depends on other things they might be spending on…for example, if they are already going to be spending on bachelorette, shower, morning of group gift, etc, then consider how to cut stuff or provide more for them.

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