(Closed) What does the vegetarian check on the all meat RSVP card?

posted 10 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2007 - Bride's family summer home in the Adirondacks

Hi Beekeebear,

As a long time vegetarian, I have luckily never encountered that either!  I think your best route is to not check anything and simultaneously get the grapevine working.  Hopefully either the moms will communicate it, or else when they receive the choice-less rsvp they’ll think to ask.  The worst thing that can happen is they’ll just arbitrarily pick a meat dish for you, and you can make due with salad/sides.  In all my years as a vegetarian I’ve never met anyone hosting an event who hasn’t wanted to feed me in a way that will make me happy, so I bet they just didn’t realize they were inviting any vegetarians and didn’t think to include the option.  Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee

When we were going to have a plated meal we were planning on a silent vegetarian option. So absolutely write a short note letting them know you are vegetarian. In no way would I consider that rude or presumptious.  Most likely the caterer will have some vegetarian meals available.

Post # 5
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m not sure I’d rely on the grapevine to get the message through, chances are they’ll be busy with other wedding-related issues.

I would do a "write-in" and simply state "A vegitarian meal is kindly requested."  You don’t want to be starving and you’ll need something to absorb your drinks later or there could be some disasterous moves on the dance floor!

Post # 6
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Check the “chicken” box, and then write a note next to it that says, “Actually I am a vegetarian. I would prefer a veggie entree if possible, but if not, I will eat the sides off the chicken entree.” This way if there’s a veggie entree you’ve politely requested one, and if there’s not, you’ve chosen the cheapest meal option (chicken is cheaper than steak or shrimp) off of which to eat the salad and sides.

Post # 7
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - The Rivers Club

I agree with Chelsea πŸ™‚

Post # 8
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

chelsea definitely has a great plan – it makes it known that you are veg, so if there are options, you can avail yourself.  at the same time, it lets the bride know you’re flexible in case there isn’t a veg option.

Post # 9
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think racheljo and chelsea both have great ideas.  I only put a vegetarian choice on mine because my fsil is a vegetarian, otherwise we were going to do beef, chicken, and fish and just let the vegetarians request a veggie meal; that is how it has always been done in my family.

Post # 10
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

yep go with Chelsea’s suggestion.  Most caterer’s will create a veggie entre even if it’s not one of the 3 meals the couple chose.  I’m sure they didn’t make the choices purposely to offend you πŸ™‚  And they won’t be offended with that response πŸ™‚  For those of us who aren’t vegetarians – it doesn’t always cross our minds πŸ™‚

Also – make sure you throw a granola bar or two in your purse (or other snack) just in case.  Ha I do this even if I know I’m going to like the food – cause I’m always hungry!

Post # 11
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I have to disagree with Chelsea.  As a veggie for 18 years, I would never check off an meat or pultry option.  This will confuse the bride and groom and make the whole thing a mess.  There is always a veggie option and it is common understanding.  Just be clear and upfront.  I always just add a side note to the RSVP card and my email (if I am not familiar with the bride) so that she can email me if there is an issue.   You just need to give them enough time to plan and everyhting should be okay.  

Post # 12
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I agree with mleeeee, checking the meat option might confuse the bride! Especially since when I tell some people I am a vegetarian they reply with, "well, you still eat chicken and fish, right?" Some people are confused about what it really means to be a vegetarian, so I would really avoid trying to make it even more confusing. 

I’ve never been in this situation, but I feel for you! I would write a sweet note explaining that you are a vegetarian. You can even mention that you would be more than happy to fill up on the side dishes and that they don’t need to go out of their way to request a special meal.. whatever is easiest for them and the caterer.

Hopefully, everything will be fine. I know it’s hard when you’re not an outspoken vegetarian.. I never want to put out my family or friends, but more often than not I find that they are thrilled to accommodate my fiance and I with delicious veggie food. πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
22 posts
Newbee

I think Chelsea’s suggested a great idea. She specificically indicates that she would write, "I’m vegetarian but I will eat the sides off the chicken meal if there is not veg option available." Easy. As a bride working through RSVPs and menu requests, I doubt that would throw me off in the least.

Rest assured though, it’s not uncommon for caterers to have a few vegetarian meals on hand, just in case they’ll need it and weren’t made aware of it before hand.

Post # 15
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Chelsea’s suggestion would work for vegetarians who are OKAY with eating dishes in contact with meat or don’t mind having accidental pieces of chicken in their food. However, not all vegetarians are okay with that. I agree with racheljo’s suggestion of simply stating, “A vegetarian meal is kindly requested.”

Post # 16
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m a vegetarian, and even with those silly RSVP cards, have ALWAYS been able to say to the server “no matter what I checked, can you just load a bunch of veggie sides on my plate” and have NEVER had it be awkward or a problem.  I’m sure any caterer is prepared.

At my wedding, there is a “Silent” vegetarian option.  I’m not having an RSVP meal-choice…when guests arrive they choose between two meat-ish meals….but any vegetarian (like me) who speaks up, gets whatever they want.  I also worked for a caterer —- they have TONS of options back there for you.

In the case of that card, though – write whatever you’re comfy with.  If you’re comfy writing “vegetarian”, or “whatever choice has the biggest veggie sides”, do so.  IF you’re not, check something (chicken?), and when you get there, ask the server to ditch the chicken for extra sides/rolls/salad.  It’s never a prob.

 

 

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