(Closed) What does your becoming-parents plan look like?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
  • poll: What does your becoming-parents plan look like? Choose your 1st , 2nd, and 3rd choices.
    1st: TTC naturally. : (140 votes)
    48 %
    1st: Adoption (foster-to-adopt, international, domestic) : (3 votes)
    1 %
    1st: Fertility Assistance or Embryo Adoption : (2 votes)
    1 %
    1st: Other, which I will explain : (2 votes)
    1 %
    2nd: TTC naturally. : (27 votes)
    9 %
    2nd: Adoption (foster-to-adopt, international, domestic) : (25 votes)
    9 %
    2nd: Fertility Assistance or Embryo Adoption : (81 votes)
    28 %
    2nd: Other, which I will explain : (0 votes)
    3rd: TTC naturally : (11 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    We plan on TTC naturally for all our children. We are both lucky that we are both VERY fertile. I have always wanted to adopt though so maybe we will do that for our last child. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Mrs Hedgehog:  Do you have a kid already? How do you know how fertile you are?

    Post # 5
    Member
    4574 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We def are TTC the good old natural way. This is our 4th  cycle and hoping for the best.  However, I always wanted to adopt and so did my husband, but we want to adopt our last child, not our first, unless we don’t get pregnant the natural way then we will be adopting our first child and the second and so on….We discussed adoption many times and we even looked into at one point, but havent met with any agencies as yet.  We still are crossing fingers for our natural concieving.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @LucyLaLa:  We are pregnant now. Got pregnant on our first try. We also got pregnant while on BC and with protection when we were both 18. We have gotten pregnant once since then w/ twins that resulted in a MC because of an accident about a year ago. We also have both gotten tested before TTC this time… So we know we are both very fertile… Why do you ask?

    Post # 7
    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We plan to ttc naturally  but then would take drugs to ovulate if necessary after a year. Not sure if we will do IVF if necessary (will have to speak about this option) but if these things did not work I think we would just not have children and spoil our nieces and godson. Neither of us feel adoption or surrogacy would be for us.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Our plan is to TTC naturally. I will give it up to 2 years charting, temping, doing everything naturally. If after 2 years of ovulating and not getting pregnant, I will explore our options with a RE. I am  very worried about the side effects of a lot of fertility drugs and am already at high risk of an autistic child. I  think that using artificial means to create a child may create a child that ordinarily shouldn’t have survived due to genetic defects. I am not saying I won’t use artificial means, but I am very hesitant. We are also not open to in-vetro or clomid, so my best guess is that we would adopt or be awesome aunts and uncles.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’m 22 right now. We will begin TTC this summer after I turn 23. Our plan is to conceive naturally. We don’t have a 2nd option right now, because G-d forbid something was wrong, we would sit down with a medical professional to figure it out. I am not against adoption, but it isn’t a thought right now, just like thinking about fertility treatments or a surrogate aren’t options right now.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1020 posts
    Bumble bee

    Although we are very young now, it looks like domestic adoption is looking the most likely right now. Like one of the PPs, any potential biological child of mine and DBF’s would have an family history of autism spectrum disorders on both sides. The prospect of a child with special needs scares the poop out of me right now, even if it is a set of conditions I am very familiar with. DBF also seems to prefer the idea of adoption to TTC in general.

    Hopefully by the time we consider children (about twelve years down the road, so there is plenty of time!) there will be better screening technologies that could actually give us an actual percentage chance of having an autistic child vs. having a neurotypical child. Since the genetics of autism are so complex, and scientists are beginning to figure out specific genes associated with the spectrum, biological children could happen.

    That being said, I only want two biological children. If we go the adoption route, I’d be likely to look into a set of three siblings. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    933 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Mrs Hedgehog:  Wow, you are both very fertile! I ask because I’ve spent so much of my life trying to get pregnant and I just think it would be nice to know if I needed to worry. I have an irrational fear that I’m infertile, at which point at least I could go off my birth control which would be nice.  As it is we are not TTC for at least a year so I guess I will find out about both of us then.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    By fertility assistance, do you mean medication? There is a huge variation to the degree in which you can seek assistance – meds, IUI, IVF, surgery, etc. Maybe consider changing the options to include that, you may get more variation?

    Either way, we are mixing between naturally and fertility medications at this time, and will be moving on to IUI at some point in our future if no go. Then we will ultimately try IVF. Annnnd then we may start the adoption process.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5109 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @LucyLaLa:  Do you mean try not to get pregnant or have you already been TTC before? Just confused/curious lol

    So frustrating that I spent all this time/money/energy in preventing pregnancy and here I am TTC like a crazy person years later. lol

    Post # 14
    Member
    1081 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am lucky that I am only 23 and Darling Husband is only 24, but if after 6 months of aggressive charting and good timing, if we don’t get pregnant I think I will go see a doctor, because one of my absolute worst fears is not being able to get pregnant because something is wrong with me.  We are on cycle 3 of “good timing” of BDing, even though the 1st cycle was technically “NTNP,” we still had sex often during fertile window, so I’m counting it. 

    Actually, if we don’t get pregnant by March this year (which would be our 6th cycle), then we have to stop for a about 4 months so I am not in my first trimester and barfing all the time when I have to take an 8-hour licensing exam in the middle of June. Hmmph. Here’s to being positive and hoping we get KU before that, but it makes me sad thinking about it and thinking that after that, we will most likely have to go through the motions of getting everything checked out to see if anything is wrong with either of us.  

    Adoption would be a very last resource, but we wouldn’t be able to afford that or IVF for at least 6 years when I am finally an attending M.D. But heaven forbid something was wrong and I couldn’t get pregnant, I am pretty sure we would try for adoption because both of us really want to be parents. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee

    Our plan was definitely to have the first naturally ( so far so good, as I’m pregnant with the first). As for the second, my husband and I have talked about adoption and we both really like the idea, so we will definitely keep that as an option, especially if my first birth is traumatic, haha. Lately, he is up in the air about whether or not to have more than one child though so we are just going to play it by ear and see how we feel after the first is born and a few years old.

    Post # 16
    Hostess
    8146 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I haven’t figured out how fertile I am, though I do have odd cycles. I’ve talked about it with Darling Husband and we’ve said TTC naturally first for all kids we might have and then if g- forbid something is wrong we would talk to fertility Dr.s and if nothing happens, we would definitely adopt. I have family members who are anti-adoption but we just want a child to save and care for. All we can hope is for natural. My sister has joked that she’d be our surrogate if it came to it… Who knows if she’s serious but that’s option 3b.

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