Post # 1
I was having a discussion with my friend today about what wedding rings symbolize and I wanted to hear other people’s opinions on the subject.
My fiance and I feel that the rings we are so painstakingly picking out are in the end just another material good related to the wedding industry. In the end, they serve to act as a social signifier of our relationship, and so we’re having fun picking them out mostly separately and expressing our individuality with them.
My girlfriend on the other hand views the presentation of a ring as a symbol of their relationship over all. Her ring is a downpayment for their relationship, and if he doesn’t do it right, she reserves the right to refuse his advances based on the fact that he doesn’t understand her well enough to find an appropriate symbol of their commitment. To her, if he can’t get the literal manifestation of their relationship right, how can she trust him with the rest of their lives together?
So, what are other people’s views? Do you subscribe to one of these? Do you have an entirely different perspective? I’d be interested to hear about them!
Post # 3
When I look at my Ering it is a reminder to me of how much my DH loves me, and how hard he looked to find the prefect ring for me. I know that you don’t need a ring to get married or to show love, and it is just a material item, but it meant a lot to him to find that special ring and to present it to me along with all of the promises for the future. I love the feeling I get when I look at it and its pretty hard to put into words what it means to me. I love my wedding band too, and there is obviously sentimental value, but in many ways my Ering is more precious to me because he picked it out on his own.
Post # 4
@paperclipblonde: It means security – a promise of a future together. And it’s a symbol of our love – how we will stick together through whatever life throws at us.
Post # 5
To me, the ring is a symbol of the commitment my boyfriend is ready to make to me. Its more like a “setting it in stone” type thing. Its just a visual reminder of what we have and that we are ready for that future together.
With the ring, I let him pick it out just because its fun to see what he will come up with. If it isn’t one that I would pick, then I accept it because its from him. If he picks one I like, it shows me that he knows me pretty well. Its just fun.
Post # 6
It’s a symbol of love and commitment to each other.
Post # 7
To me it’s a symbol of our love for one another, and a way to show our commitment to one another.
My ring is also a family ring, and it’s very special to me that Mr.ND got it from my grandma (who we were both very close to) and made sure to propose while she was still with us and able to be at the big surprise proposal. She passed away shortly after our proposal. So I see family, caring, consideration, hard work, and love in this ring.
Post # 8
We elected not to have engagement rings at all, and to have plain yellow gold bands for our wedding rings. For us, the importance of the wedding rings is in the fact they symbolize our commitment to each other. For that, they didn’t need to be gaudy.
NotFroofy inherited the ring she gave me from her grandmother back in Wales. NotFroofy’s grandmother was a socialist, and a bit of a rebel. She got married a day before her husband went off to India with British forces. In those days, her employer did not allow married women to continue employment, and she had several younger siblings to support. She and her husband got a special license to allow the wedding to be performed without the usual waiting period and to be kept secret. In the early part of her marriage, the only time she could wear her wedding ring was on walks on Sundays with her mother, so that her employer would not find out about it. Someone eventually made an anonymous report to her employer about her marriage. At that point, her employer made a special exception to its rules to permit her to go on working until her husband’s return. Thus, her ring has not only family significance, but a connection to another wedding that was “forbidden” in its time but ended up lasting until the death of one of the parties.
Amusingly, after NotFroofy’s grandfather’s death, NotFroofy’s grandmother made reference to next time, marrying “a nice sensible woman.” I’m not sure whether I qualify as “sensible,” but I like the idea.
I have a real issue with the idea of refusing someone based on his/her not understanding my preferences in jewelry. That is probably the least important thing to understand about me. Plus, it was easy enough for NotFroofy and me to discuss what we wanted in rings–why make someone guess?
Post # 10
Its a symbol of how spoiled I am. Just kidding. Everytime I look at it, it reminds me of all the obstacles we have overcome to get where we are and that whenever I am faced with obstacles in the future, I will have him beside me to get through them. To me, its almost as good as having him with me at all times. Its a great symbol and I would have been happy with a piece of string tied around my finger. One of my favorite quotes is “wedding rings, worlds smallest handcuffs.”
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
My Fiance picked out the ring style, and the main diamond was my grandmother’s. My Fiance picked a 3-stone style, so every time I look at my ring, I remember her proposal and how she explained the past/present/future thing that the stones represent and think about my family. 🙂
Post # 12
I look at my left hand and see my fiance’s commitment and love to me. It doesn’t matter *what* is there, just that he has told the world that he is mine and I am his.
A random note, but I love it when he plays with my ring..It shows me that it means as much to him as it does to me 🙂
Post # 13
@2dBride- what an interesting story!
To me, the ring is just a material object that symbolizes that we are engaged. It could be anything. I think people try to make it more sometimes… like it has a life of its own or something. Your friend sounds a bit nutty.
Post # 14
Just that he asked me to marry him and put a little thought into it. With my ex-FI, I had to get a placeholder ring since I kept having people say I wasn’t really engaged. My ring from Fiance – I handed him my great-grandma’s ring and said I’d like THAT diamond if he wanted to get me a diamond ring. He chose the worse possible ring for me (an octagonal halo with a pave band – I hate halos, non-organic shapes, colorless jewelry, that it catches on EVERYTHING when I specifically said my grandma’s solitaire setting was too tall), but it’s my ring. It’s a reminder that he loves me and wants to marry me, and that’s what matters.
Post # 15
to take a passge from part of my cermony this sums of what my rings…both of mine and his to him, mean to us. PS sorry its so large…I dont know how to make it smaller
“This circlet of precious metal is justly regarded as a fitting emblem of the purity and perpetuity of your love and marriage. Rings are an ancient symbol, blessed and simple. Though small in size, these rings are very large in significance. Round they are, like the sun, like the eye, like the arms that embrace. The ancients were reminded by the circle of eternity, as it is so fashioned as to have neither beginning nor end; Circles they are, for love that is given comes back round again – love is continuous. The precious metal of which the ring is made is so incorruptible that it cannot be tarnished by use or time. So may your marriage be incorruptible in its purity and more lasting that time itself.”
Post # 16
Prior to getting married, even during my engagement, I looked at my ring as just a material item and even times just thought that I wore it in order for the world to know that someone “owns” me. I was ok with it though since it was sparkly 🙂
However, now that I’m married it means so much more to me. It is a reminder of the man that loves me, that there’s someone out there that I am connected to forever, when I look at it I feel a warm sense of love, I at times have visions of our wedding, it is a reminder of my commitment. It represents a lot more now.