(Closed) What etiquette rules do you consider outdated?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Ugh! This "rule" is totally outdated!

    100% proper invitations with an inner and outer envelope, tissue paper, calligraphy, etc.

    No wearing black / red to weddings

    No wearing white to weddings

    No cash bars (This is regional - only talking about the regions where it's traditionally 'not' done)

    No putting registries / gift requests on the invites

    No short bridesmaids dresses for an evening wedding

    No "form" (Christmas card style) thank you notes

    Favors are required

    Receiving line is required

  • Post # 17
    4410 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

    I have to say I’ve never heard of the rule about not wearing red or black. That’s totally new to me, and I’ve gone to a lot of weddings. I have a hard time imagining that a classic little black dress with simple jewelry would be inappropriate, especially at a formal affair.

    White is the only color that I’ve ever heard of as being inappropriate, and then it’s a solid white that’s inappropriate, not a print. I have, however, heard of it being inappropriate for the BRIDE to wear black!


    Post # 18
    4410 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

    View original reply
    @mishelleez:  My position was eliminated a couple weeks ago, and some of my employees asked me what I was going to do when I was done working there. I looked at them with a big smile and said, “I’m going to become Mrs. James Clark.”  I like the idea of it. I know it’s old fashioned, but it brings a smile to my face every time I say it.

    Post # 19
    2271 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    Honestly, we requested no gifts for a reason! Both hubby and I had two complete households and he moved his stuff from a large house into my much smaller one. We had 7 TVs between us, 4 blenders, 5 sets of dishes – well you get the picture. We both gave away or donated a ton of crap and we certainly didn’t want any more.However we DID request guests bring a dish to the pig roast we held the next day! Got some wicked good food too! Yummers!

    Post # 20
    1023 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Yeah, these are a mix of etiquette, tradition and trend. There are very few things that I think you HAVE to do. If I am treated with courtesy than all is goo. If people find a lack of an inner and outer envelope to induce chaos then perhaps they need to think about their priorities and consider how happy they are, what with policing everyone’s actions.

    Post # 21
    1032 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think the only one truly outdated (in this area anyway) is the receiving line and wearing black to a wedding. Otherwise, I think the rest are still respected etiquette, but then again that could be regional. Plus, my Fiance and I are quite traditional. 

    Post # 22
    1518 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think black is fine to wear if you are a guest or even to put your bridal party in black. I don’t think you need a receiving line or favors. I think honeymoon registries are the coolest thing! Im glad things have changed a bit but i still think guests shouldn’t wear white! 

    Oh and I like how people have started taking most their pictures before the ceremony and having a 1st look. We are doing this- that way you have more time to spend with guests at reception, and you have some personal time with your fiance! Although i think you should start pictures early enough that you are hidden before guests arrive. I hate getting a glimpse of the Bridesmaid or Best Man and Bride and Groom before hand- it’s very anti-climatic to see all the dresses before they walk down the aisle! 

    Post # 23
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I hate that you can’t put your registry info in your invite.  There is no “word of mouth” anymore.  THere’s Facebook.  So either I announce where I’m registered on FB (where even people who aren’t invited could see it), or I put it in my invites.  I never did put it in my invites, and I regretted it almost instantly!  I wish looking back that I had.

    Post # 25
    384 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I just said this in an earlier post. You really cant win. People always want to find something wrong with something and complain about it. So honestly, I say “Its your wedding, its your money, its your rules!” If someone doesnt like it, TOUGH!

    Post # 26
    1675 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    @PixelMePretty: That’s what it should be. Wear pink if you want to! And you’d better have a good time!

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