(Closed) “What Every Woman Wants Is A Carat”… Really?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would have had a hard time not speaking my mind too!! Didn’t his family members speak up?? That’s why you bring your mom – so you don’t get pressured into a sale!

I think its also really important to find a trustworthy jewelry store and a jeweler who you trust. The guy who owns a local jewelry chain is an acquaintance of my FH – so he was really helpful in picking out the ring. When my FH was choosing the diamond – the jeweler actually suggested he get a .49 carat diamond instead of a .50 because the smaller one was of way better quality for the price than the full half-carat. (and of course the size difference is negligible)

Of course that salesperson was doing her job trying to sell bigger, more expensive rings. But poor guy!!

Post # 4
1749 posts
Bumble bee

@PumpkinSpiceChai: Every couple is different, it’s a generalization and inaccurate. I would be disappointed in a carat because it’s too small and you would be disappointed because it’s too big. Having differences in opinion are good and inevitable. What makes the lady happy and what her man can afford varies. Based on the heated discussions I have read on recent post about carat size, it varies drastically. He should ask his lady what she likes,she is the one who will wear it.

Post # 5
10 posts
  • Wedding: December 2015

We picked out my ring together and for us, that was definitely the way to go. I was one of the many who thought I wanted a certain size center stone but when I saw them in person, I realized I wanted closer to a half carat, which is what I got. I love my ring and I’m happy we picked it out together, but I know that doesn’t work for every couple.

When we were looking at rings, my Fiance turned to me and said, “I’m so glad we’re doing this together. I would have had NO idea what to do if I came alone!”. We were also able to look at the other 3 Cs together so I’m happy with all aspects of my ring and he’s happy to know that he got me exactly what I wanted. We don’t like surprises though so that’s just how we operate. I know it’s much harder to work out for couples who really want that element of surprise, or when they aren’t on the same page about how much to spend.

Post # 6
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

The woman is probably on commission.  My guess is that she was looking to upsell the guy by saying women want more.  If the guy was looking at 1 carat rings, she would’ve said “A woman really wants a 1.5 or 2 carat diamond.”  Anything to earn a few extra bucks!   

And, if she wasn’t on commission, it’s usually their goal to sell you more than you intended to purchase, anyway!

Post # 7
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i would have done a snort chortle and shook my head at that just so he’d get a hint. poor guy! no, i don’t care about the size, more into the clarity and color of mine. it’s about .75 which looks nice on my finger – not too big, not too small.

Post # 8
116 posts
Blushing bee

@Soladylike: I agree. 1ct is too small for me, my lifestyle and my preferences.  And he really should be asking the girlfriend what she likes, not his mom or the sales clerk.

Post # 9
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Its sales. Like @BanditGirl said, the saleswoman probably works on commission and is simply trying to make bank whether or not she believes what she’s trying to sell.

I worry that this thread could be perceived as another bash on girls with larger rings even if thats not what you intended. While I do have a ring larger than a carat, I’m not offended by this post don’t be surprised if some are. 

Both Fiance and I wanted me to have atleast a carat for the simple reason that I have bigger fingers (I know thats a common “excuse” but its true). Anything smaller didn’t look as great on me even though the rings were freaking gorgeous! I’m happy with what I have and those with smaller rings are happy with what they have. There is no “right” size. =)

Post # 10
2547 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well she is a sales lady, so it kind of makes sense. However, it is sort of ballsy as well. I mean if I really wanted to make a sale, I would ask about the lady herself, is she simple, petite, what does SHE like?

I went in thinking I wanted a 1 carat at least! I put it on, and didn’t like  it. I am a very simple, understated, sweat pants, and t shirt, kind of girl. I fell in love with a .46 carat, micro pave setting. I doubt that is the ring I am recieving, but it is definitely the style I am hoping to get!

Post # 11
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Meh, what every jewelry store employee wants is to sell their largest stones.  I was appalled by the type of tactics used on me when I went in to look at different ring styles.  I think Kay actually tried to push off a 1.5 carat with NOTICEABLE carbon specks for about 15K.

Post # 12
183 posts
Blushing bee

man, that is a tough situation. i LOVE big jewelery – of any kinds – and my engagement ring was no different. I wanted the biggest and most beautiful ring I was able to have BUT that doesn’t mean that’s what every woman wants. everyone is different and everyone likes different things. i hate how the industry does this. a ring is such a special, intimate and personal thing to a woman and her spouse. no one can make the right decision but him and/or her. 

Post # 13
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yup, it’s all the hard sell.

Post # 14
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

my middle stone is 1.3 carats and i think its perfect. basically- the guy should know or have an idea going in. its not really the jewelry girls fault- she is probably going based on what she sees other people buying. i think 1 carat is average (obvi depending on the city) so shes probably right in saying its what most women want. But again- the guy really should not be basing it all on what the girl said, and mor eon what his Girlfriend wants. gotta talk to your ladies men!

Post # 15
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

eww gross generalization! i had no idea what i wanted, i still am pretty clueless about carat size. my husband had a diamond from his grandmother’s engagement ring that he had reset; if he hadn’t had that, i’m not sure if he would have wanted me involved or not, but i really would have wanted to go try different rings on to see what i did or didn’t like. of course the sales people are going to try to upsell, but it’s such a personal decision, it’s so gross that they frame it like that!

Post # 16
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am not surprised the salesperson told him that. I’m not surprised at all.  I mentioned in that other heated posted that salespeople love it when a man comes in without a clue looking for an engagement ring. If he hasn’t done his research or spoken with his FW, he has to rely on what the salesperson tells him, because he doesn’t know.

This is his how a mall jewelry store salesperson works:

The salesperson will do her job, she’ll start by asking him about his girlfriend, she ask how they met, how he’s going to ask her, how long they’ve been together. She’ll ask if she likes white or yellow gold, and if he doesn’t know, she’ll ask what color jewelry she usually wears.  All this is about building trust, making him feel comfortable, making him feel like their friends.

Then she’ll pull out rings with at least a carat. She’ll talk to him about the sparkle, the clarity, the color. She’ll probably bring out a chart that explains it all, but she’ll hold onto it, so he can’t really read it and just point out the things she wants him to know. She’ll, of course, show him any specialty diamonds that are exclusive to her store. She go on and on about how every woman would love on. And she’ll ask him, “now wouldn’t you like to show her how much you love her by getting her something spectacular like this?” Then, she’ll let him hold the ring. She’ll tell him about all of it’s good qualities. Then she’ll tell him about another couple that had been looking at the same ring that couldn’t afford it, so they had to walk away from that woman’s dream ring.

By this time, his head is spinning. He has been convinced that the ring he holds in his hand is the perfect ring for his girlfriend, but can he afford it? He’ll ask the price and the salesperson will look at the little tag on the ring, and tell him the price. She’ll give one of the other salespeople a non-verbal signal to come help. When that person comes over the poor guy will have to go thru the whole thing again, telling the new person how he met his girl, etc. The the original salesperson will show the new salesperson the ring she’s trying to sell him, and she’ll ask the new salesperson if there’s anything they can do about the price. The other salesperson will gush over the ring and tell him how much his girlfriend will love it, and he’ll check to see what he can do about the price, but he sure something can be done.

While the other salesperson checks the price, the original salesperson will brag about the other salesperson knowledge about diamonds and ability to get the best prices. Then, she’ll ask him what kind of car he drives. Hopefully, it will be something expensive like a 4-wheel drive pickup. She’ll ask him if he likes it. Hopefully, the answer will be yes, and he’ll start going on about how great it is.  This is just what she wants, because the more she can get him to say yes to her questions, the more likely she is to get him to say yes to that ring.

Salesperson #2 will return with good news, he can take 20% off the price, and tell the guy about what a great deal that it and what a beautiful ring he’s getting for his girlfriend. His girlfriend will know how much he loves her with this ring. Whilst the guy is trying to wrap his head around the price, salesperson #1 will ask him how much he paid for his truck. Of course, he’ll tell her, and then she’ll say something like, “well, this ring costs much less than your truck and will last a lifetime. If you can pay all that money for a truck you’ll probably replace in five years, don’t you think your girlfriend deserves a ring like this that will last a lifetime?”

Then it happens, he has to admit that he cannot afford that ring. He only has X amount of money. That’s when Salesperson #2 will reassure him that it’s not a problem. He can apply for a store credit card and not have to pay interest on it for a year. He’ll take out his calculator and tell him how much it will cosst monthly…

SOLD! And now, the guy is in debt. He has no idea what he’s actually bought. He’s proud of his purchase though. He’s feeling good, because his friends at the mall jewelry store took great care of him. They educated him, they listened to him. He trusts them.


So I am not surprised at all.  For the record, most of the sales people in the mall jewelry stores have been trained. A lot of them have taken classes so they are very knowledgable about what they’re selling. But make no mistake, they have a quota to meet or they will lose their jobs, and they will pull every trick in the book to get a higher sale.

That’s why I quit. I couldn’t continue to do it and still look at myself in the mirror. I felt guilty every time I talked a guy into going into debt for an engagement ring or any other kind of jewelry. If they can’t afford to pay cash for it, they should not be buying it.

And I can guarantee, if you had spoken up, another salesperson would have been there to distract you before you had a chance to kill the sale.

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