Post # 1
Who do you invite? What do you do at them? Do most people have one? FSIL is asking me for a guest list for my bachelorette party and bridal shower so I assume she’s planning one, or thinking about it. I’m not even entirely sure what they are! I don’t really enjoy baby showers and I didn’t enjoy the two bridal showers I’ve attended. I was very young when I attended the 1st one, and was mortified watching my cousin open lingerie from our grandma lol. I don’t like people feeling like they have to buy me gifts. I can’t stand the thought of people watching me open gifts (I hate it at Christmas too). I hate putting other people out. I don’t like being the guest of honor. I don’t like people feeling like they are obligated to buy or attend anything really especially for ME. It all sounds embarrassing and if I’m being totally honest, boring. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful at all so I hope I don’t come off that way.
Do you love attending showers or does every one loathe them like I do? If you love them please share why and how they can be fun! Maybe I just need new perspective.
Post # 2
Just say you don’t want a shower if you don’t want one. It’s not necessary at all. I skipped it.
Post # 3
I quite enjoy a shower, but he ones I attend are rather simple affairs compared to the catered events at venues that I read about here.
They are held at someone’s home, probably 20 or less guests, a few simple refreshments, a couple of silly games and gift opening. It’s a good chance to socialize with people I don’t see as often as I would like.
If you don’t want to be the center of attention, decline the offer to host a shower. If you do have one, you can specify that you would prefer not to have a lingerie shower. Guests can buy smaller gifts from your registry or you could have a theme shower like time of day, recipe etc
Bachelorettes are a separate event here that usually only include the bride’s contemporaries, not her older relatives.
Post # 4
I feel the exact same. I think bridal showers, which are gift orientated, are out dated. 90% of people have moved out by the time they are engaged. Why have a party to receive house gifts??
So yah, I’m not having one. I’ve heard some twists though that seem fun. Ie a wine-themed shower where everyone brings a bottle and you do tastings etc.
Post # 5
Similar to julies1949 :
, the showers I’ve attended and had hosted for me are small gatherings of close friends, usually at someone’s house. No one bought me lingerie, just gifts from my registry or something they thought of on their own. We had delicious food and treats, and played fun games.
I can tell you that I never feel obligated to buy gifts for my friends. It is my pleasure. I love giving gifts and hope that what I’ve bought is something they like and can use. If I can’t attend a shower or don’t want to for whatever reason, I decline. No obligation. I just declined a shower in another province and will have to do so again in a few weeks. No big deal!
The main reason I loved my showers though was they were both an opportunity to have those closest to me gather to spend some time together. Especially the one in my home town, I was able to see my childhood friends and family members who live far away. My 93 year old grandma got to host as well, which was really special for her. I am so grateful that they wanted to do that for me. I am so excited to host showers for my best friend and sister this year. We are having a ball picking the colour scheme, planning games, getting a pretty cake made, and making up a menu of delicious food!!
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa
I just wanted to chime in and say that I felt the same way, but ended up regretting it. I didn’t want a bridal shower, because it felt awkward to make people buy me presents in to open gifts in front of everyone, and I also said no to a bachelorette party. Looking back, I really wish I would have done those things and had some special bonding memories with some of my friends. Your mileage may vary, but make sure you’re certain.
Post # 7
I mostly enjoyed my showers but the gift opening was pretty uncomfortable for me. I don’t normally have a problem with people focusing on me, but it was particularly weird to be opening registry gifts that I had picked out myself. Normally I’d say “Oh you know me so well” or “This is so cool! Where did you find it?” or “How did you know I needed this?” but none of those sorts of things apply when you picked your gifts. It was weird but I just got through it as quickly as possible.
We did fun interactive games. There was one where we listened to clips from romantic movie soundtracks and had to guess the song & movie. There was another where they gave hints to a famous couple and you had to fill in the names. We also played a “love themed” Pictionary game that was a lot of fun. Mostly it was just really cool to hang out with all the important women in my life and be excited about the wedding together.
As for your other questions…
You invite whomever you want. I wound up having three because my wedding was huge, but you could make it whoever you want. Definitely you invite your bridesmaids, mom, sisters, mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and any other female relatives that are important. Then it just depends. I had one shower that was mostly just friends, another for my dad’s side of the family, and a third for my mom’s. I invited my inlaws to the one that was closest to where they live.
You eat, play games, talk, and open presents. It can be as simple or complicated as you want. I’ve been to tea showers, snacks and drinks, full meals… and there have been tons of games or none at all.
Having one is a personal preference. Most women I know have one, but if you don’t want it just say you don’t want it.
Post # 8
Just say “no thanks”..end of dicsussion. If you don’t want one, you don’t want one.