(Closed) What factors do you consider when giving a wedding gift?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Do you have a "set amount" that you'll spend on a wedding gift?
    Yes, it's the same for everyone : (5 votes)
    11 %
    No, it all depends on the couple : (29 votes)
    66 %
    For the most part, with a few exceptions : (10 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I have a usual amount of $100 but if I am close to the couple then I change it accordingly.  It is tough because it also depends on how we are doing with money at the time

    Post # 4
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We base the amount that we give on our relationship with the couple, and that’s about it. It doesn’t matter to me who pays for the wedding–I have no problem with couples “making a profit” off the wedding, since I doubt that that’s their mindset going into it!

    Post # 5
    1326 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

    I’ve been to a handful of weddings as an adult as well, and it depends on my relationship to the couple, not necessarily where they were at financially. I budget $50-$100 since that’s what I can afford.

    Post # 6
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It depends on the couple, definitely. But it also depends on what’s going on in my life. I wish I could be  generous to everyone, but if someone’s wedding is close to something else that required significant funneling of my disposable income, I’m probably going to give a less generous gift. I will prioritize the gift more if I am close to the couple, but no matter how close, we can only spend so much.

    Also, it doesn’t matter to me who paid for the wedding or if they live together. I’m giving them a gift as my friends/family. I don’t evaluate a Christmas present based on how well they did in a job that year or anything tangible economic benefit like that. It undermines the meaning of a “gift” to me.

    Post # 7
    5183 posts
    Bee Keeper

    1) what I can afford

    2) If I am bringing a guest

    3) How close I am to the couple

    I don’t consider people making bank lol 


    Post # 8
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    My ‘standard’ gift is around $100 (+/- 20) and double that for closer friends (when I can afford it).  And, by ‘closer’, I mean ones I’d be in their wedding party or similar.

    Post # 9
    966 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I generally only take two factors into consideration…1. my/our relationship with the couple.  and 2. did we encure any travel expenses (as in destination weddings).

    Post # 10
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    It really depends.

    I would say going as a couple our minimum now is $200 where we live which is Upstate NY. Even when we were poor college students we gave $150 as a couple.

    If it was a friend wedding in NYC that amount will likely bump to $300.

    Very close friends of ours had a small vow ceremony and dinner when they got married a month before us. Our wedding gift to them was a photographer for the day.

    When it’s my side of the family there is a whole ‘nother system in place due to the very different going rate in Chinese cultures. ie My cousin (on mom’s side) got married over the holidays and even though we did not go the “gift” was $1500. Because that’s what his parents gave us when we got married. It’s such a different system!

    Post # 13
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    It definitely depends on the couple, our relationship, and our current financial situation. When I was still in school I generally gave $50 because that was a lot of money to me and I really couldn’t afford to do more. Now that I’m out… I think $100 is more like my baseline. I would probably give less if I didn’t know the couple very well or if they were someone who gave us less at our wedding (not to “get back” at them, but I just feel like I don’t want to look like a show-off giving more than they did). I give more if I’m particularly close to someone and we have it. 

    Post # 14
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010


    It’s crazy isn’t it! When I told my husband (he’s German/Irish) how much we were gifting his eyes bugged out! But I explained that that is how much his parents gave us even though they are in China and did not come to our wedding!

    We don’t have the $$ either so that’s why it’s like a loan what we got at our wedding. Because then that amount in turn was gifted to my aunt’s son!


    Post # 15
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We usually give $100 to the couple but if it’s a close friend, we wil give more.

    Post # 16
    1314 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    I haven’t actually been to a wedding where I had to bring a gift….*gasp*. I’ve always went with my mom, so we brought a gift from the family (a nice, fairly expensive one…no worries). In terms of my family, there is a pretty set amount for each wedding because most of my family is short on cash. 

    FI’s fam- on the other hand- definitely gives more for family members or close friends. 

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