What "faux pas" have you made?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’ve asked to bring a date to a wedding. Oops. Feel bad about that one now 

Post # 33
Member
1926 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re having a destination wedding that people know about and are not invited to (as in, no one at all, not even parents).

 

As a guest, I wore a pink dress that had a white Battenburg lace overly on it -_- Granted I was only 13 so I guess it wasn’t SO bad.

 

I also didn’t cover my plate at the last wedding because I’m a broke college student and could barely afford to attend at all. 

 

Post # 34
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Laurenplusalex:  I’ve sort of done that too, I called a groom to double check if the invitation was just for me alone or for me and my boyfriend (now husband). that would’ve been really awkward for him, but I was genuinely confused and kind of still am – we’d been together three or four years, the groom had met him many times and got along really well, the bride had met him at a few parties, and there were 250 people invited to this wedding. when I got to the reception I noticed the groom’s family and friends took up two tables and the rest were all the bride’s family and friends. I understand that when people from two different cultures marry, things like that will happen, but I’m still kind of sad that my husband didnt get to see them get married. 

also, at my brother’s wedding, I unplugged his laptop and put my own iPod on. he had put me in charge of putting on the right songs and playlists at the right times, but after the first dance, everyone was HATING the music and no one was dancing. the few girls who did want to dance kept requesting songs (really obvious songs that are played at pretty much every wedding) and he didnt have any of them in his library, but I knew I had them all on my ipod. lots of people got up and danced once I changed the music so I was all like ‘yeahhh, I saved the wedding!’ but looking back, if someone had done that to me at my wedding I would’ve killed them.

 

Post # 35
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Lolasmomma:  I have RSVPd a few days late for 2 weddings, mostly because I was waiting to see if my Fiance could attend with me.  Now that I’m getting ready to do the whole invitation thing, I realize that I will probably want to strangle people that RSVP late….oops.  I hope karma doesn’t come back to get me.  

Post # 36
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This is a great thread! Makes me feel better about my faux pas!

I didn’t get a gift for a couple who’s wedding I couldn’t attend, and I felt guilty about it forever! Then I found out they got divorced a year later, and so I felt better about not getting them a gift after all… and then I felt guilty for that making me feel better!!

I also threw a hissy fit – to other friends, NOT the bride at least – when I didn’t get an invite for my bf to a friend’s wedding. Now I feel terrible because I totally understand. We did put +1’s on our invites because my Fiance felt passionately about it, but every time I wrote “and guest” on an invite, I cringed a little at the potential cost!

And I am TERRIBLE at RVSP’s… in fact, I think I may have mailed one back ever. This is defintiely coming back to haunt me!

Post # 37
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

When I was 18 a casual friend was getting married. I was with her shortly after she was engaged and said I better be invited to the wedding in one of those light casual ways people do so. Months later, shortly before the wedding, I hadn’t gotten an invitation, yet knew everyone else in our social group did. I really wanted to go, but felt badly about asking. I ended up having a mutual friend ask her if I could come, and she said of course. I went, it was fine. It was a laid back affair anyway, but I still feel guilty for prying!

Post # 38
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Whew- this thread makes me feel a bit better. I’m glad I’m not the only bringing a big gift and skipping the guest book. I do feel really bad about the guest book because I’d feel terrible if everyone skipped signing mine. In my defense I figured they wouldn’t noticed if I didn’t. I’m hoping karma doesn’t get me on my day. Also, I refused to put stamps on my rsvps. :/ 

Post # 39
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is probably faux pas but we got a few boxed gifts….. 2 of which were joined together and really heavy. I guess all the cards that went with the gifts got mixed up and when we opened them we figured out the right gifts with the cards that WERE there… but the 2 heavy ones joined together didnt have a card….

They were from our registry (2 large cuisenart baking dishes) NOT CHEAP at all…. and we have NO idea who they are from. WE went through the gift list to see if we could line up anyone that gave us a “card only” because maybe the card fell off and someone plopped it in the cardbox…..

well there was only one couple who “card-onlyed” us and it was one of the Groomsmen and his Girlfriend. My fi is suuuuuper close to him so he was like ill just ask him if the gift was fomr them (the Groomsmen actually did ask where we were registered from the week prior so I thought its probably them)….but I was wary about him asking in case they didnt in fact get us anything. Fiance insisted….. so yesterday he  msg’d him

Turns out no they didnt get us the bakeware lol….so a) awwwwwwkward, and b) we still have no idea who gave it to us. There was actually 24 people out of 130 who didnt even get us a card……. so….. its probably one of them, butwe have no idea. The only people who knew about our registry was our friends and most of them reside on FB so…….

Fiance tagged me in a post he made saying…..”this is a little embarassing but unfortunatly we have no control…. in opening our wedding gifts we seem to have been gifted something that came without a card (may have fallen off) …we would like to express our gratitude but we dont know to whom? if you know anything about cuisenart bakeware please let us know…”

Realistically this is our only option. All our families and the family friends got us money in a card, the ones who didnt gift are ones who would have no contact with our Bridal Party or families…so its not like we could “spread the word”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 40
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Haha… I made so many wedding-related mistakes before myself or my brother was married because I had NO clue about etiquette… I was married before my best friends and the cousins I’m close with too, so literally no experience!

1) when I was 19 and went to my then-boyfriend’s sister’s wedding, I brought only a crystal candy jar as a gift (It was like $50, lol)

2) when a friend I wasn’t close with and who lived hundreds of miles away invited me to her wedding, I didn’t send a gift (I know gifts aren’t mandatory if you don’t go but it didn’t even cross my MIND to send one, which I felt guilty about years later!)

3) just this past winter when my brother was married, his wife had decided on a big, pouffy tulle wedding dress, and I picked a silk chiffon strapless, grecian-style gown a bridesmaid dress (she let me and her sister pick whatever)… Which she approved. 2 months later, she changed her mind and instead picked a strapless, silk chiffon grecian-style wedding dress… Looking at the pictures I feel so guilty because they are SO similar… Even though I chose and ordered my dress first!

4) I left a note-so-close friend’s wedding at midnight (dinner had JUST finished) so I didn’t partake in any dancing and didn’t say bye because I couldn’t find her. I was exhausted and it was our engagement party the next morning. Funny enough, she left my own wedding during dinner (VERY early on… I didn’t see her after 8 p.m.) and didn’t say bye either — I wonder if it was on purpose?! lol. Not mad, but a strange coincidence.

5) Finally with my own wedding — no huge mistakes that I can think of, thank god, otherwise I’d feel awful. I even remembered to thank my grandmother during my speech, after learning she was hurt when my brother didn’t mention her at his wedding. A family friend that came from out of town did get upset afterward because she wasn’t mentioned in any speeches when we thanked out of towners – but i mean, really? She’s so high maintenance and nuts… I couldn’t feel bad about that (she did make my mom cry the next day though – bitch!)

 

Post # 41
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I did the makeup for a friend for her and her bridal party as a wedding gift.  However I didn’t get a card which looking back at it, was very rude.

Post # 42
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I put the address of the venue on the invite. 

 

I really wanted to include my registry info in the invite, I feel bad because by not doing so I’ve made my Fiance very uncomfortable 🙁

Post # 43
Member
5156 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I once went to a wedding of my dad’s cousin that I had never met. It was a weekend we were visiting my grandparents (6 hours away by car) and we all just went to the wedding. I have no idea if anyone even asked (my grandparents were definitely invited), AND — we had one of my sister’s friend’s with us that tagged along. Needless to say, I never even met the bride and groom. I think my dad talked to his cousin for like 5 minutes. So weird. Why did we even go?

Post # 44
Member
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Lolasmomma:  FH kind of verbally implied to a certain married couple that we would be inviting them to our wedding but after a bit of a think, now he doesn’t want them to come… so no invite for them!

He has no problems with the husband, whom he gets along with quite well, but the wife he actually used to know from his old job (within a circle of other ex-workmates.. the rest of them are pretty good). Unfortunately there was a rostering/shift incident in which she totally screwed him over, and he’s despised her ever since!

Sure, we feel kinda bad… but with them not being too close friends or anything there’s no real harm done? Oh man…. ugh I don’t know!!! 🙁

Post # 45
Member
6303 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Lolasmomma:  Not a major one, but I told someone in person that we wouldn’t be able to attend their evening reception, rather than sending them a card/letter. I feel bad about that.

Post # 46
Member
783 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Recently, I was invited to a wedding that happened this past June.

– I didn’t officially RSVP, my sister (one of her BM’s) had to call me and ask if I was planning on coming

– I didn’t go to the ceremony, because one of my really close friends chose to have her babyshower the same day. So I did the babyshower in the afternoon and the reception of the wedding in the evening.

-I completely forgot to bring a gift to the wedding. My plan was to stop at a drugstore and pick up some sort of card and gift card but I completely forgot.

this was all for the same wedding… Luckily we aren’t that close so we didnt really have a relationship for it to effect.. But I still feel bad : /

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