(Closed) What "faux pas" have you made?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

This one wasn’t me, but my Fiance…

the month after we were engaged, we went to one of his cousin’s wedding. He went up to the DJ without me knowing and requested a song to be played (our song at the time). Now that’s fine…. But he had the DJ DEDICATE the song to me at someone else’s wedding. i was embarrassed to say the least.

Post # 48
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Faux Pas #1

Wore a white dress to a wedding. TWICE. In my diffence they did have a color or two splashed around in there. I had noooo idea about the white rule.

Faux Pas #2

Didn’t respond to RSVP(felt guilty for not showing, praying they forgot I was invited) and still didn’t buy a gift.

Faux Pas #3- The Worst of the Worst

My BF(Now FI) invited me as a plus 1 to his coworker’s wedding. He didn’t RSVP(he hasn’t the slightest idea about etiquette). He thought it would be fine if we just “showed up” because they are “cool like that”. We pull up to this lovely estate where the wedding was held and we came late. I mean REAL late. We pulled up in the car right as the ceremony was happening. They were OUTSIDE. We had to drive by on VERY LOUD gravel and awkwardly smile as we were passing the bride and groom. Then the reception didn’t have enough chairs at our table(since he didn’t RSVP) and we stole chairs from another table. I overhear the other table flippin’ out because their chairs are missing and I just had to pretend like I had no idea what was going on. My Fiance didn’t bring a gift/card(again-clueless) and I wanted to leave early because it was a dry wedding-we did. We left right during the cake cutting. TALK ABOUT WORST NONGUEST EVER.

 

I cringe at myself for being THAT PERSON. Apperantly I am a white wearing wedding crasher who doesn’t bring gifts and interupts couples most important day of their lives. I was terrible and naive X10000000000.

Post # 49
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This was a couple years ago. I was living with BF’s family (long story). His brother was best man in their friends’ wedding. I’d met them and they didn’t like me after I got smashed at the gf’s birthday party (faux pas one).

So, they’re getting married, and my BF’s family received an invite for “The _ Family.” My bf’s mom insisted I was invited, that I should go. She even talked to the couple about all of us going when we bumped into them. They were polite in that “I’m smiling but I hate you” way. I ended up going but realize now that BF’s mom probably unwittingly forced them to invite me and I should’ve stayed home and chilled with the dog. While I’m still embarrassed when I see them, the wedding was awesome haha. It was huuuge and worth it.

Post # 50
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee

I didn’t know you *had* to send a gift at a wedding you didn’t attend. If it was a foreign acquaintances, it would not have bothered me. But it was my cousin’s. I was 20 I think at the time.

 

Post # 51
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Rubbs:  Rubbs, I must know what did that dress look like!?!? When you said prom I immediately thought white and poufy like a wedding gown. Was it that dramatic? Ha, Oh well.

Post # 52
Member
5486 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@tampalove35:  lol… No. It was quite straight. Came up like a halter style & had a slight slit up one side. It was really nice. Ya think my mother would have said I can’t wear it but she didn’t. 

Post # 53
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lovelyduckie:  Wait, putting the address of the venue on the invitation is a faux pas?  How the hell are people supposed to know where to go??

I am not sending individual invitations to single adult children that live at home.  Three of my cousins are 18-22 and live with my aunt and uncle, not sending four invites to one house!

Post # 54
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I crashed an “old friend’s” wedding.  She was my neighbor’s daughter, and we had lived next door to each other all through my highschool years.  Midway through highschool, we stopped being friends.  Lets just say it was mutual, and years later, I have no regrets of ending that friendship.  So fast forward several years after highschool, and my dad is telling me miss thang is getting married, and “oh, you didn’t know? I thought you’d be invited.  Surely she ment to.”  My father, bless his heart. So I agreed I’d see him there!  LOL! 

Post # 55
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

hoo boy. I’ve been to like 50 weddings… seriously.

 

1. I was invited to a wedding about 2 hours away and had been seriously dating my now husband for 2 years (not living together or anything though). It was a good friend several years younger than me, and I figured I might have some mutual friends but I didn’t really know. So I called his mom and asked if I could bring my boyfriend. She said yes, but it was kind of reluctant. We got to the wedding and it was really small. Like… maybe 50 people. I only knew the groom, his parents and his sister. And it was awkward. Looking back, it was super rude to bring my husband… but I’m glad I did because I wouldnt have had anyone to talk to–the couple was 18 and 19 years old and you could tell the guests were kind of disapproving. Side note, they divorced within a year. But that has nothing to do with this story!

 

2. I definitely went to a wedding and forgot to bring a gift. And never sent a gift. 🙁 I meant to, and never got around to it. I’m awful. And they came to our wedding a few years later out of town and brought a very nice gift. Yeah…I still feel bad about that.

 

Gah now I feel bad again.

Post # 56
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Also along those lines, I didn’t give very expensive gifts to my friend during that huge influx of weddings the few years right after college. I could only give so many $40 gifts/checks when I had 12+ weddings to go to on a journalist salary and some had showers/bachlorette parties/bridesmaid duties. Even the ones I said no to, which were rare… that money really adds up.

Post # 57
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MrsNewDay:  I’m just finding out now! Haha I always thought that is what guests are supposed to do.. bring gifts to the wedding.  Clearly I haven’t been to many weddings.

Post # 58
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If you arent meant to put information in the invite about wishing well how are guests meant tO Know? We put no gifts on our engagement party because it was in our home town which meant a lot of people had to pay for accommodation and I didn’t want them to buy us something plus pay for accommodation. A few gave us gifts and there were only a couple which we have actually used because we bougt our home 3 yrs ago and have everything we need. I actually find it very awkward having conversations with people about money and gifts so would much prefer to write something in the invitation (on an additional sheet) than have to actually talk to people about it?

 

in my defence it was the first wedding I had been to since I was 15 and the bride told me it was ok (my cousin) to wear a white summery dress with a black belt. Her stepmother did bitch about it and then she also wore a white dress which had a few colours through it. And my fiancé wore jeans. Didnt even think of him wearing a suit. Oops. Feel awful now but there was only 60 ppl in her parents backyard so was very causal. 

Post # 59
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I wore jeans to a wedding once. They were nice skinny jean shorts, and I wore a really nice blouse and flats, and was actually more dressed up then my sister. But I still wore jeans.

I also never RSVP’d to a ton of weddings when I was in college. Woops. 

Post # 60
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Oh goodness, I was such a bad wedding guest in my early twenties:

1. I never RSVP’d to the wedding of a friend who had been very dear to me in my late teens/early twenties. I felt so bad I couldn’t afford to travel that I just didn’t RSVP or send a gift. BAD LIBRARIAN! BAD!

2. I wore a strapless, floor-length showstopper of a red dress to a black tie wedding. All the other guests wore similarly formal gowns, but mine was SO bright and attention-getting. People complimented it all night and I felt bad for taking attention away from the bride. I was there as the bride’s cousin’s date. Later, I found out he didn’t send a gift and I felt tacky all over again.

3. My younger sister was married to a very, very wealthy man in a $120,000 wedding. I was fresh out of grad school and couldn’t even afford my bridesmaid dress–they paid for it. I emptied my wallet to buy her a shower gift, and then had NOTHING LEFT. NOTHING. At their wedding, I gave them all I could give: A card. A heartfelt, sincere, and empty card. Two years later, she bitterly complains about all the people who didn’t give her wedding gifts. She never names me, but I feel so ashamed.

4. My (chronically late) fiance and I attended a wedding and arrived moments before the processional started. I think they were ready to begin, but noticed that we arrived and then waited for us to be seated. MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT.

If all my wedding guests are boorish and clueless, I’ll know it’s karma biting me in the rear end! Wink

Post # 61
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I was a bit of a hot mess for my first “grown up” wedding of a college friend. First I was busy with a new job and didn’t send my RSVP…she had to track me down through FB. Then, I completely forgot about the whole gift-giving thing until the night before I was supposed to leave for the wedding. I looked at the registry and there was nothing left in my price range, except for like, a toilet brush. I didn’t have the time, nor did I know the bride well enough (this was not a close friend) to come up with something creative. So I stopped at BBB on my way out of town and got a cheap, ugly candle stand thingy. I did get a thank-you note, but it was very generic so obviously they weren’t impressed.

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