- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
So here’s a fun little story for you brides out there that are having trouble with any of your bridesmaids. Yes, it’s pretty long, but actually pretty amusing if you read through it!
So when I got engaged, one of the first calls I made was to my best friend to squeal with delight and to ask her to be my Maid of Honor. Though she said yes, this set off a weird reaction in her, and suddenly she became obsessed with getting married as well. I think it just hit her and she felt like she had to get married to keep up. It felt weird, like she wasn’t itching to get married for love, but like she was itching to get married to beat me down the aisle.
So fast forward 5 months, she convinced her boyfriend to pop the question. Then the strange behavior began. It all started when she asked me to give her my wedding day because she wanted that actual day. (Note – my save the dates had already went out). Next, she copied my exact color scheme. Black and white damask with lavendar accents. Didn’t even try to switch it up at all. Then she decided to have her wedding exactly 3 weeks after mine. (That’s not that big of a deal, but she suddenly started trying to compare everything.) So when I tried to tell her, hey, you realize that your wedding is going to look almost exactly like mine right? But she didn’t care. So the next time I went to see her, I set up a table setting for her with the table cloths and things. Her exact comment ‘Oh, I didn’t realize that your wedding was going to look so much like mine!’. I had to literally bite my tongue.
Next the bridesmaids dresses. Now obviously, not everyone is going to just LOVE the dress that a bride picks out. But all of my BMs except her really liked them. The reason – it wasn’t sexy enough. Oh by the way, my Maid/Matron of Honor could be a Victoria’s Secret model if she wanted to be. She has literally played Barbie at little kids birthday parties before just to give you a clue to how she looks. My dresses were just above the knee, and thought they weren’t poofy, they weren’t skin tight. They just slightly flared out. She asked me if she could get it altered to make it skin tight to show off her rear. I told her no, the goal was to make everyone look classy, not sexy. She then told me that HER bridesmaid dresses were prettier because they were sexy. Her dresses are ok, but they came from the juniors department at Bealls. It feels awkward to be a woman in the later half of my 20s shopping in the juniors department for a wedding. And the dress is definitely something that a high school girl would wear.
Let’s fast forward to the week of the wedding. Oh, I forgot to mention that my Maid/Matron of Honor was supposed to sing during the untiy candle process. Not only does she look like Barbie, she has a beautiful voice. Literally on Sunday, 5 days before my wedding, she called me to tell me that she didn’t want to sing because she was nervous. This coming from the girl who sings solos in church every other Sunday. Talk about panic! I did manage to find another singer, but I was pretty upset about the fact that my Maid/Matron of Honor did that to me.
Fast forward to the actual wedding. As me and my bridesmaids are getting into the elevator to go up for me to walk down the aisle, we were all making comments like, I’m nerouvs, so excited, etc. I asked each of them why they were nervous. They gave me various responses like, Oh were so excited for you! But she answered, “Oh, I’m just imagining myself in 3 weeks wearing my gown walking down the aisle”. I get it, she’s excited too. She has the right to be. But could she not be supportive of me on my actual wedding day?
And PS – all of the rest of my bridesmaids told me later they wanted to punch her at that point for being so selfish.
Fast forward yet again to her Maid/Matron of Honor toast. She starts off by interesting herself as “I’m Jane Smith, the soon to be Mrs. Jones in 3 weeks when I marry the love of my life.” Even during her own toast she had to call attention to herself.
So on the day of my wedding, I was so high on life that none of this even phased me. I didn’t let it. But the next day when literally EVERYONE made a comment about my self-centered maid of honor, it started to bug me. But I decided I was going to be the absolute BEST maid of honor I could be for her and take the high road. And so far I have kept my word on that.
But now, I’m thankful to Mother Nature, karma, whatever you want to call it. Becuase for every awful, selfish thing she did to me before my wedding day, she’s getting her payback.
Her wedding is Saturday. I have been reminding her for about 3 months to take her dress into a professional seamstress to get the bustle added in. She went in last Tuesday finally to a non-professional. This lady had never worked on a wedding dress and put these plastic snaps all over her dress. When she tried on the dress, the weight of the gown was too heavy for the snaps and they wouldn’t stay. So their plan now is to use safety pins.
She is not allowing any of her bridesmaids to get professional hair or makeup. Only she is allowed. In other words, she wants to ensure that she is extra glam compared to us.
She planned her outdoor wedding reception and didn’t plan for a tent because she was so confident that everything would be perfect on her day that she wouldn’t have to. Now there’s a 60% chance of rain on Saturday and 300 people have nowhere to go.
Some guy was supposed to make her a powerpoint slide show of her and her fiance growing up, in love, etc. He made it but didn’t back it up and somehow his computer fried, so she has no video.
And last but not least – on Monday both her photographer AND her DJ cancelled on her.
So when she called me to tell me all of this Tuesday in tears, I couldn’t help but grin. Now before you think I’m evil, I instantly offered to call my DJ and photographer. I don’t want her wedding to be absolutely ruined, but I am glad that she is having to sweat during the last week. After all, she made my sweat to find a singer quickly.
I’m sure her wedding will be lovely. My wedding was everything I dreamed of and more. What I have actually learned from this wedding is that my so called best-friend really isn’t a good friend. I will always love her and be her friend, but have realized it’s time to protect my heart and back off of our friendship.
I know this was long and I apologize, but I thought some of you late night bees might enjoy a good story!!!