(Closed) what goes through the mind of a man who does an unromantic proposal?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 61
Member
4038 posts
Honey bee

I had a very lackluster proposal. My then boyfriend rolled over in bed and asked me with 4 simple words. (Not exactly something I could tell my mother about; in fact, I don’t remember anyone really asking).

And that was 40 years ago. Still happily married, which is what really counts.

And no, I didn’t have a ring; we were poor college students. Later my grandmother gave her ring to give me, that she could no longer wear. The center stone is about 1/4 carats, but it was given to her with love, by my beloved grandfather. I never upgraded, but I did get a $130 cubic zirconia, the Xmas after our 1st child was born.

Post # 62
Member
1492 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
waiting2bee :  Yeah I agree. People are talking extremes: Hallmark movie vs no planning at all. I am happy I received something in the middle.

I loved my proposal and it suited us as a couple. He proposed at his parents’ home and his whole family witnessed it and then as a total surprise I saw my own mother who he had flown in from California to Georgia to witness it all. That was so special to me because I see our upcoming marriage as us bringing our families together and so I did not want a private (or super public) proposal and he knew that and planned accordingly. 

 

He also took the time and effort to get me a ring I adore. None of it is YouTube worthy…I barely had my nails done lol… but it shows effort and careful planning. To me, that is what makes a good proposal. Effort. 

 

So I understand why the OP’s friend would be disappointed BUT she should not be getting married anyway. He does not want to get married and she is WAY too manipulative. I hope the OP warned him that his SO stopped taking her BC…

Post # 63
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I was proposed to in the most run of the mill, day-to-day moment possible. We were sitting across from each other at this greasy diner eating bacon cheeseburgers after closing on our first home, and he said, “Do you think we ought to get married?” And I said, “Sure!” No ring. No Facebook announcement. No flowers. But such a perfect moment. I can’t imagine being upset about it. If the proposal is more importnat than the marriage and she is contemplating going off birth control in order to trap him, perhaps your friend should reexamine whether or not this man is the one for her at all.

Post # 64
Member
394 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t get a proposal. We decided together that we’d like to get married now, as we’d always talked about   We’re adults, we’re equals and we’re on the same page. 

Post # 65
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Another two “unromantic ” proposals incoming!

My aunt dated her BF for 6 months. One day he asked her out for dinner, and then refused to pay. She was short of money but paid anyway, they had an argument afterwards and she broke up with him. Two weeks later she received a phone call from him. He said “I have arranged for us to get married in two months, I have a band and a venue, you should probably go buy a wedding dress or something.” And she said: “Allright.” I was there, I stood behind her the whole time (I was 9). I asked her – what just happend? And she said: “I guess I’m getting married.” She’s now happily married for 20 years, and has two amazing kids.

Childhood friend of mine was dating her BF for two years. He moved in with her and her parents, and soon everyone started nagging him about living with her folks and not proposing. Finally he got fed up, and proposed to her on her workplace. Fine with her 🙂

 

 

Post # 66
Member
678 posts
Busy bee

Nothing is on a thoughtless guy’s mind. They can’t be bothered to think up and plan a special proposal because they don’t care enough to make the effort. They care more about what they feel like doing and less about what you want.

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