What good reasons would a man be withholding sex?

posted 2 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Is he religious?? I assume you would have mentioned that if that were the case… so I have no idea, that is a LONG time to not get intimate. DO they do other stuff, or just kiss? 

Post # 3
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

In 2.5 years she hasn’t just flat out asked him what the deal is? 

 

Post # 4
Member
10460 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband and I waited 4 years to have sex. We were originally waiting till marriage but had a lot of conversations about it and decided we were both okay with not waiting any longer.

I think it’s odd that she doesn’t know why. Doesn’t seem like a relationship with good communication.

Post # 5
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
WannaBeMrs.B :  if he’s super religious or prefers men or he is getting it from someone else. Honestly, probably is sexually attracted to men or is a porn addict. I mean who knows, we need more info. Some of the gayest men seem straighter than an arrow.

Post # 6
Member
214 posts
Helper bee

So she’s tried hints and passionate kisses but has she tried using words? Like asking him what’s up, or straight up saying she wants to have sex? If it were me, I wouldn’t be just getting ready to walk away without knowing his reason. And she’s not doing to find out his reasons by having a bunch of strangers speculate about it here on the internet, she needs to ask HIM.

Post # 9
Member
347 posts
Helper bee

Religious? Asexual? Some really deep intimacy issues? Homosexual? Another GF? 

It sounds like she brought it up once and he gave a really vague answer “our time will come”?? She needs to straight up ask him what the deal is and go from there. Presumably these are both grown adults? 

Post # 10
Member
839 posts
Busy bee

STD, asexual, or gay. Doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship, whatever the reason.

Post # 11
Member
4231 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I mean, so maybe he just doesn’t believe in sex before marriage. It’s not always because someone is religious. Or some people are asexual, and sex isn’t important to them.

If it’s important to her, then maybe he’s not the right guy.

Post # 12
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2019

He could be sex-repulsed, which is like being asexual. He could be self-conscious of things like scars, his size, his weight, etc. He could have an STD he hasn’t told her about and does not want to give her.

Men are just as complex as women, any reason you can think of is fine for either. It’s not always just gay or religious. 

Post # 14
Member
347 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
WannaBeMrs.B :  It sounds like this isn’t a good match for your friend. Regardless of his reasons, she seems to want intimacy that he isn’t willing to offer. That’s a dealbreaker in my opinion. 

Post # 15
Member
4106 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

2.5 years in and they havent had a conversation about this? This is horrible communication and I wouldnt be interested in a relationship like that. I dont understand this at all and it wouldnt work for me. I would feel like your friend, poor lady. I think she needs to just sit him down and initiate a discussion about it. After 2.5 years you should be able to discuss uncomfortable things. She needs to tell him how this is affecting her and he needs to prioritize her feelings and tell her why he wants to wait. Waiting is fine but both parties need to be in agreement.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors