Post # 1
What has your been your biggest fight over an idea? By this I mean a relatively abstract principle. Some of the ones we’ve fought about include: gun rights, moral relativism, and vegetarianism.
And I don’t mean fight necessarily as storming around and screaming, but heated disagreement.
Our biggest “idea” fight was probably about moral relativism. I am a secular moral realist, and Fiance is an anthropology educated moral relativist. So he thinks that morality is cultural, and that there is no real right and wrong, while I think there is a right and wrong, and it is measured in terms of how well it leads to human lives worth living. We haven’t argued over this specifically, but we would disagree over female circumcision. He would say it is neither right or wrong, and I would say it is wrong because it closes off an important source of joy in a life, ie sexual gratification.
What have you fought about? Religion? Politics? Ethics?
Post # 3
We got into huge fights about gun control and abortion in high school. Since then, we’ve leveled out our views on both.
We played the blame game with religion, too… “we stopped going to church because you never want to!” “you always want to go to Starbucks instead, though!” Haha, we were so ridiculous! We both just felt guilty for being “bad Christians.” Not an issue anymore, thank goodness. We’re both much happier with ourselves now!
Post # 4
Honestly… (it’s embarrassing).
Our level of atheism. LOL I have a firm belief in science through and through whereas Fiance doesn’t give up the idea that there was a possibility of a greater power prior to the big bang theory. It got really heated LOL!
Post # 5
our different ways of educating our daughter, we have different view. i honestly think im wrong 75% of the time. now we just share the situations and it has wok out perfectly.
Post # 6
we had a huge disagreement about gay marriage legalization. we fought for an hour or so until I finally was able to convince him that it SHOULD be legal (well sorta convince, anway). A few years later he finally admitted outright that I was right and it was a stupid fight.
Post # 7
Mostly holidays and family traditions type of things. Like I think we should have a Christmas and he thinks it’s waste and he says stuff like “I didnt have Santa when I was growing up and I turned out fine” type of thing.
Post # 8
1. guns- not really on gun rights, but on whether we will have one in our home. it scares me because i wasn’t raised around guns and he has no problems with it. im losing this one because he is going to be a police officer. he also has an interest in the military. no, he’s not an aggressive person or a bully (far from it! one of the most laid back people ive ever met, honestly!) but he has no problems with guns.
2. how we will raise our future children. he says things sometimes that tick me off because i think he is being mean. sometimes i cant tell if hes joking or not too… but overall we agree on most aspects of child raising. just the little things sometimes cause me to be like “what?!?”
Post # 9
The only thing that we fight about is how to clean the house – we each have our priorities and get annoyed with the order things are done – how stupid is that? But I still think I’m right, LOL!
Post # 10
What an interesting thread! I don’t think we have fought about these kinds of things exactly. One time we did disagree on how we would handle talking to our kids about drugs (I take a harder line on this than he does). We have different ideas about God, but we don’t fight about that.
Post # 11
@ Kericita: How awesome you were able to change his mind! I try to avoid those kinds of confrontations because I think it is too hard to change people’s minds and I’ll just end up getting all upset. Snaps to you!
Post # 12
Politics/government. He’s staunchly libertarian, I tend to be more liberal. He gets VERY heated when discussing economic policies, especially with the recent changes/current administration.To the point where it’s impossible to have a discussion about it, because it turns into a debate where he’ll rip the other person apart if they don’t have valid enough points, etc.
Also, wealth/money and how to save it/spend it. Not necessarily OUR money, but in general–he tends to view expensive, costly purchases/hobbies as justifiable, whereas I don’t necessarily.
Besides that…I would say we’re pretty much on the same page on most things.
Post # 13
In a nutshell it is a money thing…We make a decent amount for our age and we agree on our own finances but were raised differently…
We don’t usually argue or have big fights about it but we were raised differently as far as money is concerned and that has caused some tense situations.
His parents are 12-19 years YOUNGER then my parents…and while his parents are successful mine are more so (not crazy wealthy but more “upper middle” or “well to do” then “middle middle” like his family) and so his mother has made comments to him about “I’d rather you guys get a house” and “this wedding is expensive” and that makes me get frusterated becasue I am cutting costs in some areas and not having a crazy lavish wedding or breaking the bank for my parents by any means.
That said…I have made comments about wishing he would stand up for me more and my family and he says it isn’t about that and his mom isn’t saying we shouldn’t but his parents just arn’t used to having that money to spend…yadadadada.
That said…I love my Future Mother-In-Law and she is one of the sweetest people I know and is generous as well. She is throwing me a bridal shower, came to my cake testing, and texts/emails/calls regularly 🙂
So nothing huge, just frusterating for us both. I’m sure there will be many more arguments but we’ll get through ‘um….and we are lucky in the fact that our political views line up exceptionally well.
Post # 14
Since our first lanuages are different we tend to have fights over the right word for something. The biggest one was about when it rains and the car glides over the water on the road. Yep it was pretty lame!
Post # 15
@bohemianbailie~You mean hydroplaning?
Our biggest fight is how to spend money…I am always afraid to “splurge” and he is never very hesitant. And we don’t argue per se, we disagree and I usually cave. =)
Post # 16
We fought about tolerance of eachothers religious beliefs (or lack of). I respect his atheism, but he said some not so nice things about my believing in the possibility of a higher power. I was MAD!