(Closed) What have u and your FI decided concerning ex’s at wedding and facebook friends?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

I have two exes on facebook but both were short term high school relationships where we became close friends after. There is a very good chance one if not both will be invited to my wedding. 

Mr. A has an ex on facebook that he dated ten years ago. I’m totally find with that as well.

If he was still fb friends with his ex wife I’d be annoyed however.


Post # 5
3255 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Neither of us invited exes to the wedding, but it wasn’t really an issue because we had our wedding across the country from where we actually live. I don’t think we would have because there’s a big difference (at least in my mind) between being someone’s friend on FB and having them be a part of your wedding day. 

Both of us have exes as Facebook friends because neither of us has ever been in a really messy breakup before. Both of us dated people we were friends with first and broke up with amicably. In both of our cases, the people we dated ended up having different goals and leading very different lives than what we wanted to live and there’s really no bitterness.

We have a lot of trust in each other. By having his ex as his friend on Facebook, I don’t feel like our relationship is somehow jeopardized. I obviously would have an issue with it if he chatted with her or messaged with her all the time, but it’s just kind of interesting to see what people from your past are up to. And I know he wouldn’t ever meet up with her for a dinner date or something crazy like that. 

One of my exes was also a childhood friend that ended up marrying a friend of mine long after we were together, so I like to see what they’re up to and I honestly wish the best for him without missing him as a significant other.

I think it truly depends on what the relationship with the ex was like, how it ended, and what your partner is comfortable with. If it made my SO uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have a problem with deleting my exes from FB, but we just don’t really consider it to be an issue.

Post # 8
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have 2 exes on FB that are dear friends. I love them as friends and would never want to be involved with them again. It’s not like we hang out and talk on the phone but we’re still friendly. I’m an adult, I can have whoever I want to in my life. I chose Darling Husband, not them.

Oh and yes, my Darling Husband has an ex on his facebook too as they have a child together. She’s remarried now.

Post # 9
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Earlybride: Your fingers are typing through my brain because I feel the same way you do.

My boyfriend (lol, he’s my husband now) at the time had 2 of his ex’s on FB. They both cheated on him! He didn’t defriend them becuase he’s too nice! SERIOUSLY?? They got blocked real quick after I explained that these were not friends (facebook or otherwise!!).

When one of them got married and wanted Darling Husband at her reception after her Destination Wedding abroad, he wanted me, his new girlfriend, to go with him. No way in hell! I mean, to watch this chick hug him and push her boobs up against his chest all the while knowing she cheated on him? I don’t care if she was newly married to someone else, just the thought of her cheating on my husband made my blood boil.

I didn’t go and neither did he.

My husband is the nicer one of both of us. I guess I follow that old saying exs are exs for a reason.


Post # 10
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

He is still friends with an ex, on facebook and in real life. We did not invite her to our wedding because we think it’s not appropriate (I wouldn’t want to be getting married and know that one of our guests is thinking “it could have been me”).

When we first started dating, they were friends and would see each other from time to time; then when we got more serious, he introduced us (we already knew each other from a common sport, but never spent time with her out of the club). Her and I got along great. Then they only saw each other with me there; and more time passed between each meeting.

I think two persons can fail at having a relationship because they’re not right for each other and that with some level of maturity, may maintain a friendship. When we started dating, Darling Husband offered to stop seeing her if I wasn’t comfortable with it, and all I said was, just don’t give me any reason to feel uncomfortable and we won’t have a problem.

Of course, as anyone, I would sometimes have insecurities about it, I was honest and we talked it out. No crisis. And over time, as our relationship evolved, their friendship evolved too, in a sense that she has stepped away and we see her about twice a year..

When it comes to exes, I think as long as clear boundaries are respected, it can work, it all depends on the situation and the people involved.

Post # 14
3142 posts
Sugar bee


If she was trying to re-friend him after she was deleted? Good on him for blocking her.

Fiance has one girl that he dated in highschool and she herself is engaged and lives far away.  The other ex is his ex wife and she is blocked.  But they were not friends since we were together anyways.  It is just that they have some mutual friends left and it’s just easier to block her so she can’t see photos and stuff. She cheated on him and black mailed him for money by threatening to take away his pension after he dumped her for catching her screwing around. Ya she’s a gem!


Post # 15
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had a no exes at the wedding policy.  Since we are both friends with exes neither of us care about FB.

Post # 16
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have almost the exact opposite opinion on wether to be friends with exes or not. I feel like if you liked someone as a person enough to consider them your partner, why would you stop being friends with them just because a romantic relationship wasn’t in the cards? As long as it’s an ex who didn’t wrong me in any unforgivable way (cheating, physical abuse, etc) I usually maintain a friendship with them.

I actually had a boyfriend who hated that I am very close friends with my high school boyfriend, and I wound up resenting him for it. I felt like he didn’t trust me, and also that he didn’t aprove of my having a good connection to my past. My past is my past, why should I be made to feel shameful or bad about it? Eventually we broke up, and that contributed to it. It wasn’t that I picked a friendship with my ex over him, it was the way the his disaproval and what it implied to me that I couldn’t deal with.

My current SO made very good friends with my ex almost immediately when we started dating. We hang out with this ex and his present girlfriend all the time, and the four of us have a solid friendship. They’ll definitely be welcome at our wedding when we have one.

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