(Closed) What have you learned about yourself through wedding planning?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
1184 posts
Bumble bee

That I really didn’t care about 90% of wedding planning. That Darling Husband is going to be responsiblevfor all future event. 

Post # 32
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

glad I’m not alone in how I feel


  • I am and will always be a procrastinator
  • Fiance is also a procrastinator
  • We are unorganized
  • I also despise 90% of wedding planning….Fiance is good at getting me/us to stay on track (for the most part)
  • i hate spending big money, this will be the most money I’ve ever spent at once (& I think how it could be used more wisely)
  • I am extremely indecsive and get overwhelmed easily (so many options)
  • Because of the above, I look at options and then quit/avoid
  • Fiance wants to discuss and input on most every decision
  • Fiance cares …HE wants to be involved and within days of being engaged was making phone calls and spreadsheets
  • Fiance really cares and is very close to his family: immediate and his large extended
  • that while I love his mom, her questions about detail drive me bonkers…(& I hope it is bc of the wedding and ends after)
  • That Fiance and  bicker/argue about stupid things
  • Fiance & I figure it out together and make a good team
  • That in the end, all that matters is Fiance & I love each other and are ready to share and spend our lives together….we are excited about the wedding but over all of the details. We are truly happy to have a beautiful mass and exchange vows before friends and family (& G-d) and then celebrate.
Post # 33
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m a people pleaser.  And I have to learn that while it’s wonderful to please people, you can’t please EVERYONE, and it’s no use to exhaust yourself trying.  Do the best you can do and if some don’t like it, apologize and walk away. 

I’ve also learned that some things are terribly important and others… not so much.  Getting married?  Important. He’s fantastic.  He loves me.  That’s happening.  The others?  A bridesmaid’s husband just got a new job.  Across the country.  She may not make it to the wedding. 

Cool.  It’s a fantastic job.  She’ll always have a place in and at my wedding.  Would I like her there?  Yes.  Will both sides be even (bridesmaids and groomsmen)?  Yes.  Will the earth stop turning if she was in the middle of moving across six states and couldn’t come?  No.  That’s what FaceTime is for. 

Another bridesmaid is due ELEVEN DAYS after my wedding.  Cool.  Will she be there?  Hopefully!  Will I be heartbroken if she isn’t? 

Um, NO – she’s having a BABY!!!!

Some things are important.  Others are more important.  And some things don’t matter (like pleasing everyone). 

I’ve learned more in planning a wedding than I did my first two years of college.  Wow.

Post # 34
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

DaisyBlossom:  HAHA!  This has been my favorite response I’ve read so far.  😀

Post # 35
900 posts
Busy bee

I’ve learned that I really fucking hate wedding planning.

Post # 36
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

emitchell456:  That I absolutely hate wedding planning but dont trust anyone or anything being done until i see/approve it. That In am a total control freak than eve before. That i’m cheaper that I though and that have better taste than I though. That there are some flowers that I hate apparently along with fabrics and colours… I cant stand phone calls, they are so intrusive, I prefer emails. That I trust my Fiance with stuff I didnt know I would and not trust him with some thongs I thpigh I would have no provlems with.. And that im a lot pickier than i though and less easygoing. And that I am not as nice as I though and I can be assertive. My time is a little more precious to me than I ever realized and I confirmed that I’m so much more type A than previously thought. Oh and most important of all every day I realized just how very much I love and want to marry Fiance.

Post # 37
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

– That I am deeply uncomfortable with putting expectations on others, and way too comfortable with putting expectations on myself.

– That I really can’t do things of importance to me halfway. I planned our last Halloween party for three months, so really I should have known this already, but I just thought I really loved Halloween. Once we decided to have a 100-person wedding that was kind of a destination wedding for most people, I began obsessing over the small ways to make this the most personal, fun, and enjoyable wedding for all involved.

– That my approach to weddings is culturally biased. Because Fiance comes from a different culture, communication has been paramount in this process.

– Expecting myself to “find a way” to stick to a tiny budget in one of the most expensive cities in the world was probably unreasonable, even with my penchant for crafting, and especially given that I’m planning from afar.

– I did have some expectations about wedding stuff after all. E.g.: I am disappointed to realize we probably won’t have a flower girl.

Post # 38
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That I over analyze everything, especially little things that no one will care about… like I redid my chalkboard signs a thousand times and still wasn’t completely happy because they weren’t absolutely perfect… but in the end it didn’t matter, no one noticed but me.

I am extremely particular and was not bossy or bridezilla by any means, but I want things done a certain way and am a total perfectionist. I made sure all of my vendors knew exactly what I wanted, a little overboard probably, it was hard to relax and just let them take the reigns, they are the pros afterall. I am typically a very type-B personality except when it came to my wedding! Maybe the idea that this was my one and only wedding so it had to be perfect got to me.

Luckily all that stress was leading up to it and on the big day I was able to relax and just enjoy because I knew it was planned so well that I didn’t need to worry anymore!

Post # 39
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I learned I’m not much good at it, but my stepmother is!

Post # 40
14 posts
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’ve learned that I am stronger than I give myself credit for. I’ve always had trouble setting boundaries with my family and tend to let them push me around. I’ve been working on building my self-confidence for quite a while now, but often worry that I will give into them when a conflict arises.

Planning my wedding has created many opportunities for family drama and boundary violations. From my sister/MOH who continues to demand that I change my wedding date, to my unsupportive mother who refuses to attend the wedding unless we pay for ALL her travel expenses (Flight. Hotel. Local transportation. And food…down to the last cup of coffee or muffin. She literally wants us to pay her to come to our wedding).

I feel wedding planning is making me realize how far I’ve come. I haven’t caved to unreasonable demands, I haven’t succumed to guilt because I’m not doing everything my family wants, and I haven’t let them steal my joy. For the first time in my life, I feel unaplogetically certain that I deserve to be happy. Perhaps more important, I’ve come to realize my happiness is worth defending and fighting for.

Post # 42
11 posts
  • Wedding: April 2016

I found a positive.

How organised I can be! I have to say so far my organising of my wedding I have had fun. Despite freaking out at the start but once I actually started it was not as bad as I originally thought. Great experience for me 🙂

Post # 43
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m still in the thick of it but so far I have learned:

1) I am a stress ball! I already knew this, but it is amplified in situations like this…

2) I don’t really want others opinions—My fiance and I have a pretty clear idea of what we want and are much more decisive than I thought we’d be!

Post # 44
479 posts
Helper bee

elderbee:  so true! I learned that it’s better to just enjoy life and not take things too seriously! 

Post # 45
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I learned that I can budget like a pro (although I’m an accountant…so I guess I kind of am a budgeting pro by trade?) and that I thought I knew everything that I wanted. Until I got engaged and it became real. I went back and forth on EVERYTHING from eloping, destination wedding, eloping and then having a reception later (that’s what we ended up with), having a big wedding, small wedding…you name it, I considered it. After a while you learn to just pick something and move on and stop thinking about it because I lost a LOT of sleep over the dumbest stuff. In the end, the only thing that matters is the marriage certificate! 🙂

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