(Closed) What have you learned from attending other peoples’ weddings?

posted 11 years ago in Logistics
Post # 77
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think I ever realized how important assigned seating is in some places.  I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding that had it.  Just not a popular thing here, I guess.  I have been to a lot of weddings in the past few years and here are just a few things that stuck out to me.

*If your reception is outside in the heat, don’t leave your buttercream cake sitting out or in the sun.  It will melt before you have a chance to cut it.

*Bridesmaids do not have to look identical. I was in a wedding where the bride made us have the exact same hair, makeup, jewelry, etc.  What looks good on a blond tanned bridesmaids may not look good on brunette, pale skinned me. 

*If your reception venue is hard to find or far away, give guests directions or maps and try to make sure there is an easily visible sign to show where it is.  It is no fun driving in the dark, lost, and repeatedly passing a venue because there was no marker or street sign to guide you.

*Make sure you write a thank you note for a gift before you invite the person that gave it to you to another shower. 

*A variety of good food is always a bonus.  Some of us are picky and need a couple of options. 

*Don’t sweat the small stuff.  If your cake is completely wrong in everyway, no one is going to know but you, so just go with the flow and consider the screw up a funny story to tell later.

*Personal ceremonies are more enjoyable in my opinion.  If the bride and groom only speak 2 words (I do) to each other the whole ceremony, it is a little hard to become emotionally connected to them.  Even just saying traditional vows shows the emotions in your voice and what you are feeling. 

*If you do a candy buffet, make sure you have scoops to get the candy out or its all packaged candy.  Watching children (and sadly some adults) stick their hand into a jar of m&m’s does not make your other guests what to get some for themselves. 

*If a bridesmaid is driving from out of state the day of the wedding, don’t show up an hour after you asked her to be there.  Waiting alone at an undecorated venue, less than an hour before the ceremony, and not being able to get ahold of the bride is a bit confusing.

Post # 78
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I hate assigned seating.  It’s not done much around here but when it is, it’s no fun.  I don’t want to make small talk with strangers just because you think we might have a lot in common. 

 

Lots of drinking at a wedding is not classy and I especially don’t like seeing a drunk bride. 

 

People will notice the little things, they just won’t tell you.

 

Make sure the food is good, whatever it is. 

 

If you are going to have a dance, at least try to include the non college age and non drinkers. 

 

If you are doing an ipod DJ please for goodness sake, stop changing the song in the middle of it!!  Save that for your dorm parties!

 

Greet people.  It does matter.

 

My favorite weddings haven’t been expensive.

 

If it matters to you, do it.  If you like it, do it.  If you don’t, skip it.  Don’t worry what anyone else thinks because it won’t be long before they are complaining about someone else’s wedding and will have completely forgotten yours.  You will remember it forever so make it how you want it. 

 

 

 

Post # 79
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Love this thread. Most have already been said, but here are my majors:

1. While the wedding is for you, you should focus on the guest experience as well. You probably won’t make everyone happy, but people will notice if you make a conscious effort to provide good food, entertainment, parking, flow of the day, etc.

2. Agreed with too much DIY projects. I am totally up for personalizing your wedding, but know what actually looks good and what doesn’t.

3. Can’t say enough – HUNGRY GUESTS ARE UNHAPPY GUESTS. I can’t say how many times we’ve been to weddings where we are impatient and a tad grumpy through the special moments for the bride and groom simply because we were hungry. Give me some food and I’ll watch your father-daughter dance with a smile. Make me wait until 9 pm for dinner? I’ll wish away the time until then.

4. Know your guests and whether assigned seating will work for you or not. And put some thought into it. We are having a large wedding, so it’s a must for us. We plan on trying the best we can to put people who know each other together.

5. If it matters to you, do it.  If you like it, do it.  If you don’t, skip it.  Don’t worry what anyone else thinks because it won’t be long before they are complaining about someone else’s wedding and will have completely forgotten yours.  You will remember it forever so make it how you want it.  @Wigglewagon: Totally agree.

6. Walk around as bride and groom together to greet people. I know the reason behind going separately, but really. It’s your wedding day and guests came to see you become one unit.

7. Have something interactive for the guests is always fun so they have something to entertain themselves while waiting for you to show up. Fun guest book alternatives, coloring kits for the kids, fun centerpieces, etc.

8. Choose vendors you can trust (as much as you can know for sure). It’ll ease your stress on the day.

9. Hire a professional photographer. Have a second shooter if you’re having a largish wedding. People keep telling me how FAST the day goes by. You probably won’t remember some of the details you put so much work into, so you should have plenty of awesome photos to remember the day by.

Post # 80
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Help me out here…I have not been to any recent weddings, and none where it was decorated with tall centerpieces, so I don’t have a personal perspective on this. 

I would love to have the tall tabletop candelabras with floral arrangements in them.  Quite a few bees have commented that tall centerpieces are annoying.  Could someone explain why they are annoying?

Post # 81
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@echopkb: I think for me it would only be annoying if it was in that awkward height where it hinders your ability to talk to others at the table. If they are high enough to clearly see the other guests it wouldn’t bother me. A lot of people do them or alternate short and tall centerpieces to add dimension.

Post # 82
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

One thing that always bothered me is when the bridal parties are so big that dates cannot join the bridal party between the wedding and the reception.  My fiance and I have both been in huge bridal parties with huge head tables where we couldn’t see each other or talk to each other until after dinner.  We are purposly making our bridal party small so everyone can ride in the limo between the cermony and reception.  We are also skipping the head table so people can sit with their dates.

Post # 83
Member
2637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@echopkb: I think they’re annoying cuz they are either blocking the person across the table from you, and/OR they will be blocking people’s view of anything else going on in the room (toasts, first dance, etc.)

Post # 84
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@echopkb – If you do have tall centerpieces you should make sure the floral arrangement (or the bulk of the centerpiece) is over eye level. Do a mockup of a centerpiece and sit down a the table with your mom or sister or whoever. If you are able to see their whole head (from chin to hair) then it’s acceptable. If you’re having candelabras, the thickness of the actualy candelabra should be thin enough that it won’t block the person sitting in front of you.

 

I think tall centerpieces can be beautiful if they’re done right and thoughfully.

Post # 85
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Wigglewagon:If it matters to you, do it.  If you like it, do it.  If you don’t, skip it.  Don’t worry what anyone else thinks because it won’t be long before they are complaining about someone else’s wedding and will have completely forgotten yours.  You will remember it forever so make it how you want it. Absolutely love this statement 🙂 THANK YOU!

 


Post # 87
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

-If you are having a slideshow, make sure it is visible and audible at every table. At a recent wedding, we were around a corner and didn’t even realize it was going on.

-Having all choreographed dances keeps people off the dance floor (I never learned the macarena, or electric slide so I have to sit all those out)

-If out of town relatives are invited to pre and post wedding events, let them know as soon as possible so they can make appropriate travel plans

-if your wedding is early and your bridesmaids have to get up at 5 to get their hair done, please provide something to eat.

Post # 88
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

bump 🙂

Post # 89
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee

Potluck receptions can be done but they need to be planned VERY WELL. Otherwise CERTAIN guests don’t get enough to eat or the “good” food. 

Fish bowl centerpieces are kind of sad (to me at least since some of them died!)

If you are going to make your cake know how to time an prepare it so that when your guests get it, it is not hard or crusty. (Yuck)

This was all from one wedding btw. 

Post # 90
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Immacoconut: not to rag on anyones wedding, but a fish bowl centerpiece? i some how feel like this would be a bad idea. maybe minus the fish, but YIKES. floaters could never be a good thing.

Post # 91
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Great thread! Smile

I went to a wedding over the weekend and ended up leaving the reception early.  I was not the first to go, and I’m sure people who left before me had the same reasoning.

DO NOT have a 2pm ceremony in blazing heat with no shade and no fans.  You will be sweating buckets, and your guests will be griping about how hot they are, even over your vows.

DO NOT include your short-nosed dogs (pugs, bulldogs, etc.) in your outdoor ceremony.  Extremely heavy panting and that snore-like sound they make, is not romantic.  It makes us feel terrible for your pets, and guests will talk over your ceremony about how those dogs need water and shade.

HAVE A MICROPHONE.  I never heard anything the soft-spoken officiant said, and I never heard the vows over the near-choking noises the dogs were making.  Given that this was a small, backyard wedding (not a huge venue where guests are sometimes too far back to hear), I can’t imagine others heard the ceremony, either.  Really, I’d be surprised if the bride and groom heard each other.  

If it’s DIY catering, DO NOT use the same container to make burger patties and then punch.  Everyone expects wedding punch to be a bit gross, but an incredibly strong pepperoni/salami smell is more than we can handle in a fruity drink, especially in the heat.

DO NOT add so much padding to your bra that your strapless dress ends up so far from your chest, we all get a free show.

DO NOT spend all your time complaining to guests about how people aren’t there who said they would be, asking where so-and-so is, asking if guests got their invitations because you think no-shows never got theirs, etc.  If you focus all your energy on the people who did not show, you won’t get to enjoy the company of those who came (and they certainly won’t get to enjoy yours).

DO NOT let the maid of honor tell people about how the groom got drunk and knocked the bride around the night before.  Concern for her safety is great, but we are not the right people to talk to about this, and it is definitely not the right time/place to talk about it.

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