(Closed) What have you learned in the process of planning?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
  • poll: Has planning your wedding changed your perceptions of how a wedding should be?
    YES! My old views were often impractical. : (13 votes)
    25 %
    Some. I'm mostly doing what I initially had planned, with some changes. : (27 votes)
    51 %
    Nope. I'm getting the same kind of event I had envisioned : (12 votes)
    23 %
    Uh..I'm still in the dream phase. Don't crush my dreams! : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I have definitely learned a lot from our wedding planning experience. It’s easy to get caught up in the spending & planning– but its SO important to not lose sight of the ultimate goal. I bombarded my Fiance with wedding plans & money stuff… and didn’t realize he was going through some personal struggles. I missed some vital signs that our relationship was in trouble.

    Now the wedding is on hold & I’m working hard to get back to where we were before our engagement happened. I’ve kind of had to take a look at our relationship & whats important… This is one day of our lives & if we don’t protect our relationship we won’t have a marriage to celebrate.  I’ve realized that I’d marry him in a papersack dress at the courthouse, just us. Things & situations change, but hopefully our love will remain constant.

    I think thats the most important thing I’ve learned 🙂

    Post # 4
    3124 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    i voted “NOPE” because I never spent an ounce of time thinking about a wedding growing up, and we planned very organically. The only preconceived notions would be that it would not be in a church, it’d be outside, and somewhere beautiful. And no princess stuff. I am not sure he had any at all either. 

    Post # 5
    5385 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Actually, some things are better than I expected. My wedding planner is exceeding my dreams.

    Post # 6
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    hmmm… well i said somethings. but i guess i can take it two different ways. my “dream wedding” and what i’ve always wanted growing up is a destination wedding, somewhere like israel or budabest and when i met my fi i knew that was out the door (his family doesn’t fly). so i changed my vision to a local garden wedding. and this is where i say that somethings have changed. we couldn’t afford the beautiful garden. so pretty much our venue is the only thing that’s different from the wedding with my fi that i envisioned. and it’s still beautiful, and outdoors, with greenery. just not floral, and kind of small.

    Post # 8
    950 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted “sometimes” because, like @Melissabegins, I never “dreamed” about my wedding growing up.  However, as soon as we got engaged, I had some notions of what I wanted to have in a wedding right from the get-go…something very US and DEFINITELY in a Catholic Church (since what brought about the proposal was my Confirmation as a Catholic – that’s another story). Originally, Fiance & I threw around ideas – Destination Wedding in Paris (where we fell in love), church ceremony then reception at AT&T Park (SF Giants stadium), bride’s hometown church & reception, etc.  But what we finally came up with was completely different than all these ideas: TWO ceremonies & TWO receptions. One to meet the Church requirements (VERY IMPORTANT to me) & one outdoors (enjoyable for FI). 

    I think the BEST surprise is how much we’re BOTH enjoying the planning process…Fiance pretty often lets me know that “this is fun,” and “I’m REALLY looking forward to this.”  I didn’t expect Fiance to have fun with the planning from a few posts here about absentee grooms & speedbumps between bride & groom.  VERY happy about that turn of events!

    Post # 10
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    I never knew how expensive things were. Even after having a quinceanera. I guess then I didnt pay attention to prices since I didnt pay for ANYTHING being 15.



    Post # 11
    7052 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Our wedding is rather much like I had originally planned it, except for the ceremony.  Originally I wanted it outside, near the water, but ended up with a historical church that has been a church my FI’s family has attended for generations and I’m great with that!  It’s smaller too, but beautiful.  Reception still has same feel I wanted.

    It’s everything I could have wanted and more.

    Post # 12
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Me personally…wedding planning isn’t even fun to me anymore. Everything I wanted had to be pretty much cut out do to being broke. Having to do everything is stressful, people want to offer help on stuff you don’t want help on but not the other stuff. I’m becoming apathetic about the whole thing which is sad.

    Post # 13
    1684 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I voted some because like Melissabeginsms.pascua I never really had an idea of it. I mean sure, I used to love staring at my mom’s wedding gown & pictures and stuff but I never really planned mine in my mind. I knew I wanted it to be in my family’s church, that I didn’t want our reception in one of the local wedding factories, and that it would not be a wallet-buster. So far, I’m pretty on key with everything, mostly it’s my mother & Fiance who have the pipe dreams so if anything, it looks like it’s going to be bigger than I wanted it to be.

    @ thecolorteale – I’m kind of with you on feeling apathetic about the whole thing. What I learned? I learned I don’t really care. What kind of flowers are you using? What color are the bridesmaid dresses? Are you getting tablecloths? What font are you using on your invites? Umm… I dunno. At the end of the day, I’m getting married to this awesome guy who thinks the world of me and I love him. As long as everything looks good and people have a blast – I really don’t care.

    Post # 14
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’ve learned that i’m about 100 times more capable of being organized about this than I ever thought. I try to stay on top of everything and know what’s going on at once. I have a list of DIY stuff that I’m tackling one at a time and if I’m not satisfied, I start over. I had no idea I’d have this much fun planning it, but I don’t think I could be like other people and just live and breathe weddings (planners and other vendors)… I think that would drive me nuts!

    Post # 15
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yes, and I’ve learned so much from the planning thus far. 

    I remember when I thought a $20,000 budget was HUGE. I was sure I could easily have my dream wedding for that. But reality (and parents) set in, and I realized that’s really a budget wedding in Chicago with the guest list our parents have lined up. So I thought that I could just add DIY touches, but now DIY is a necessity. 

    One thing I really advocate so far is planning early. I know many people prefer short engagements or planning only a year ahead, but it’s really taken the stress off of me by planning early. I think there’s a lot that just by throwing out onto WeddingBee I’ve learned about venues, vendors, DIY projects, etc that would have gone horribly awry otherwise. I also feel like planning ahead has saved me a lot of money in regards to being able to purchase things over time – instead of spending money on little extras for myself, I’m willing to put that money into cake trials, etc, which means that I won’t have to pay for a wedding cake. I never would have been able to attempt that with my work/school schedule if we were only a year out. 

    The last thing is flexibility and a fluid concept. I don’t want to nail everything down right away, because I want the wedding to reflect who we are then AND who we are now. So a lot of the decor, the signature drinks, my shoes, etc, I have ideas for, but I’m not setting them in stone. 

    Post # 16
    453 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I guess I’m sorta weird because I fully believe that I can have something that will resemble our dream wedding, but still not have to spend a ton of money to get there. I guess I’m somewhere in a delusion and the real world. I don’t expect it to look like something out of Martha Stewart but I know that it’ll be pretty none the less.

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