(Closed) What he says and what she thinks

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Ha, yes I have thought things like this all the time.

Me and SO teamed up and took out a 30 year mortgage for our home, that was a breeze and no hesitations.. but getting married/planning a wedding? Suddenly that’s all serious?!

Men say things, but bless them – they have no idea how to actually get these things into action…

Post # 4
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I always wanted to be a homeowner and bought a house this year, all under my name. My SO lives with me but towards the beginning of the process he said that he wanted to be a part of it and on the mortgage. I told him if a guy isn’t willing to do something as cheap and easy as marrying me then I am not going to go into 200K+ debt with him. Because it’s easier to get divorced than it is to get out of a mortgage. He shut up about that one pretty quick. But he did start opening up about marriage more often and on his own. Wasn’t meant to be mean, just blatantly honest.

There are still things I keep in my head cause they are too sarcastic and wouldn’t serve a real purpose in the conversation. But I’ve found myself lately not really holding back. 🙂 We go on vacation next week and before we started planning he said, “We should go on a cruise.” I said, “Well then you can plan it cause I’ve planned the last 2 vacations and bought a house. IF you want us to go on vacation then you’re gonna have to make it happen.” And my wonderful guy actually stepped up to the plate for the 1st time and took over planning and reserving everything. 🙂 He seems to be the type that needs it told to him straight.

Post # 5
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I know what you mean. Last night J was talking about cigars with our friends and how he’s saving the big ones we got from Cuba for a special occasion, like when our friends had their baby and J and his buddy had one. J then turns to me and says: “I have a cigar at S’s house, so when we have a baby I’m gonna smoke that one from Cuba!”

*GRRRR* I managed to keep my mouth shut, and just gave him a look as if to say ‘Oh, really??’. But what I REALLY wanted to say was: “How about you get a ring on my finger FIRST, and THEN we can talk about having babies. Mm’k pumpkin?”

Sarcastic is my middle name, and I have a smart remark for every time J says something stupid, lol. However, I didn’t keep my mouth shut last week when I said: “So… you can afford a $1300 camera for my birthday, a $1252 trip to England (planned on a whim), but you can’t afford ‘other things'”?

Gwen.

Post # 6
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

@GwenvonD: Heh. What did he say in response? To the expenditures remark?

Post # 7
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@claireos: Well, when I asked him how he could afford all these things, he just replied with “Saving”.

I smell bullsh!t.

Giving it another month (’til after our England trip).

Post # 8
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Yep. He told me last night after I complained about something: “You should have married a old man then!”

I just looked at him and said “I’m not married at all….”

That shut him up. WHO did he have us confused with to think we were married already? *shrugs*

Post # 9
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I have these thoughts almost on a daily basis with my boyfriend. Recently he purchased a new computer, which he “needed.” His new computer cost more than the e-ring PLUS the matching wedding band I really want! The nerve of this man! But I kept my mouth shut. I even signed for the damn package when the computer was delivered. It’s really not a question of if I’ll throw this in his face at some point in the future, it’s definitely more of a question of when!

Ugh, that sounds so terrible, but it’s true!

Post # 10
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Sincitygirl20:UM!

About the “house” thing… that happened to us last night, and I said “hello, sir, there isn’t a ring on it, I don’t want a mortgage on it” and he said “I was just trying to be cute!”

Hello! No! I know you’re cute, but gah! I know you have the ring, let’s get this ball moving so then we can ACTUALLY get a house!

Post # 11
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Sincitygirl20:  Totally understand… 

My SO just bought a brand new vehicle, and didn’t even trade in his old one… and I was pretty upset he didn’t wait because I thought there were more important things to purchase… but I didn’t say anything about it, he was beyond thrilled about his new Jeep (he’s always wanted one).  However, when I found a suspicious tiny box (see my previous post) and found out that it WAS a ring he was hiding, I don’t seem to mind his Jeep anymore 🙂 

Post # 12
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

Add another cohabitator to the mix, but he’s still “not ready”. *sigh* They’re so silly.

But, I’m not on the mortgage. I was making hardly any money at the time he bought, and I’m going to use that to my advantage. I’m not paying one cent on that mortgage until we’re married and my name is on it. I’ll pay electric, water, gas, utilites, whatever… but I’m not dumping money into something that could gain equity that I’m not entitled to.

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