(Closed) What I have concluded about the Hive….

posted 10 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 31
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2021 - Oakland Manor

Your sample is for sure skewed! I don’t post on those threads because I don’t care how large people’s center stones are or the kinds of cars they drive.

Post # 32
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I LOVE that you posted this.  I noticed this as well.

I knew that my ring was “above average”, but when posting on the ring post my ring was “below average” in comparrision to what other women were posting.  😛

The car post cracked me up.  All the women posting had NICE cars.  Pretty sure I’m the only girl who fessed up to having a crappy car.  I’m proud that my 1992 Chevy Lumina still runs.  I don’t have car payments, I never have to put money into it, It is low upkeep, and it still gets pretty good gas mileage. 

Post # 33
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have wondered on more than one occasion how some of the women on here afford the stuff they have (luxury cars, newly-remodeled kitchens with granite countertops, etc.) while in college, unemployeed, under 25, or a combination of those. Debt? Their parents buy it?

Post # 34
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@abbyful:  I agree completely.  Who can afford this stuff?

I suppose I’m ‘old school’ in wanting to own my property/items rather than make payments on them for the rest of my life.

Post # 35
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t get the judgment on people who have expensive rings, expensive weddings, expensive cars…why is there an assumption that people go into debt or sponge off their parents in order to get what they have? I personally feel uncomfortable posting things about my wedding and my ring because I’m afraid I’ll be judged in the opposite way–people will think I’m spoiled, wasteful, materialistic, etc.

Post # 36
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Uh, .5ct ring here and a 13-year-old Camry.

But you know your sample is skewed just by virtue of this being WeddingBee. I’d be interested to see, but I’m betting that most of us are college-educated which right off the bat correlates to higher income levels that can correlate to things like ring size and car make/model.

Post # 37
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@hilsy85: I agree with you 100%. I’ve seen judging happen on both ends of the spectrum.

ETA: I also don’t understand the assumption that if you are young and have nice things you must either in debt or mooching off your parents.

Post # 38
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@hilsy85:  I didn’t mean that all people with nice things didn’t work hard for them (or had them handed over by mom/dad).  I hope you didn’t take offense because I didn’t mean it that way at all.  🙂

Post # 39
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

“why is there an assumption that people go into debt or sponge off their parents in order to get what they have”

When someone is 21, a full-time student, and not working or working part-time; it’s unlikely they can afford all this stuff on their own.

At 25+ and having a career, then I can see it being more plausible that they are able to buy the stuff themselves.

(I just randomly picked the age “25”, that’s about theaverage age for someone has graduated college with a 4-year degree and has been in the work-force for a couple years.)

Post # 40
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@abbyful: What if the full time student worked all through high school, invested wisely, then got a full ride + extra scholarship? That could be how a full time student with no part time job could have expendable funds.

Just because you currently have no income and are young does not mean you are in debt or living on someone else’s dime (unless you consider a merit based scholarship someone else’s dime).

Post # 41
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

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@hilsy85: …and honestly, I don’t really get the problem if one DID get help from Mom and Dad. My parents paid for all 4 years of college and they’re helping me pay for a wedding. I don’t think that makes me any less virtuous. Neither does a big ring or an expensive car (okay, neither of which I have, but if I did…)

Post # 42
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@KatNYC2011 – You can “what if” and “this is an exception” all day, I’m talking on average. There will always be exceptions or other circumstances.

(And even then, I personally think if someone was that good with money, they won’t go buy a brand new luxury car as a college student.)

Post # 43
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@JennyW1: I agree with that too. If your parents are in a position to help and want to, why should you be dinged for it. I love my supportive parents.

Post # 44
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

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@Whimsical.Sprite: I’m not personally offended, no worries.

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@abbyful: I guess my point is, if they are 21, full time student, and not working, and they have a 3 carat e-ring–Good for them! Maybe their Fiance works and makes great money, maybe the ring was passed down, maybe it’s really low on the color spectrum. The first assumption should not be that they’re irresponsible or shallow or materialistic. And even if they did go into debt for it, I guess I figure–that’s their life. I wouldn’t make that choice but to each their own.

But the situation you presented is pretty uncommon, at least on these boards. I’ve never actually seen a 21 year old full time student with a large and expensive e ring who is also having an expensive wedding. It seems like a very extreme example.

Post # 45
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@KatNYC2011:  Some children are in that same position, but still aren’t able to end out “ahead”.  I realize this because my Fiance and I are on different ends of the spectrum.  We both had high school jobs, invested, and had full rides.  However, he is farther ahead of me financially than I am.  Why?  Several reasons… He had his car handed down to him, I had to buy mine.  He had insurance paid for as well as gas money.  I had to buy both.  He had his clothing and entertainment taken care of.  I had to pay for everything.  Those are just a few examples.  It DEFINITELY depends on how your Mom/Dad are financially and what they are able to pay for.  It makes a HUGE difference.

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