(Closed) What I have concluded about the Hive….

posted 10 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 46
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

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@JennyW1: Very true as well, which is why I specifically used the word “sponging” (could have also used leeching 🙂 ), I meant to give the connotation of sucking money out of parents when maybe the parents are struggling as a result. My parents also paid for a lot of my college and paid for a large part of our wedding, but they insisted on doing so and it didn’t affect their quality of life at all. I also don’t like saying that, however, when I talk about how we paid for the wedding because then it seems like I’m  trying to justify it. LIke, “Well we spent x amount…but my parents paid for this much of it! I would NEVER pay that whole amount on my own!”.

Post # 47
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@abbyful: I don’t think it’s fair to assume that the majority of those under 25 who have nice things either went into debt for them or had someone else buy them.

Post # 48
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

However, my Fiance is still a very grateful person for what he has.  I don’t think his situation made him “spoiled”.  His situation opened my eyes up to the fact that people can have lucky breaks in life and still be very hard-working, frugal, and grateful people.

Post # 49
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@Whimsical.Sprite: Exactly, even if you are one of the lucky ones who has parents who support you and provide you with nice things, it does not automatically mean you are ungrateful and spoiled.

Post # 50
Member
1870 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Eh, I’ll take it further. If someone is 21 and in college and gets a $60k car from M&D…lucky them. If someone’s parents want to throw them a $200,000 wedding, lucky them. I have some friends who’s parents bought them their first houses. In my field, there are a lot of women who earn $20K to have an entry-level job at an art gallery yet wear head-to-toe Prada and live in SoHo lofts because they come from money. Not fair that we all can’t live like that, but doesn’t make them bad people.

…or have we gotten a bit off track?

Post # 51
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

Yes, we have gotten off track! 🙂

Post # 52
Member
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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@JennyW1:  It doesn’t make them bad people, it just makes some of us jealous 😉 

And yes, we have gotten a bit off track! lol

Post # 53
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think the OP was saying or suggesting that people who have nice stuff are bad people but just that people who have bigger/better/fancier cars, jobs, bling, etc. are more likely to show and tell in a post. 

So while it’s nice that people have nice things it also isn’t representing what people have on average, I think she was just making a point.  Same thing with that post where everyone was posting about how ‘fat’ they were, it turned into  a post where it seemed like people were trying to compete to be the tallest/skinniest person while still claiming rolly polliness. 

Post # 54
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee

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@mrbee: Anytime I see you online I always have this little shock. I don’t know why I assume you only drop in intermittenly. Anyhow, back to cars and statistics and rings.

Post # 55
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

“I don’t think it’s fair to assume that the majority of those under 25 who have nice things either went into debt for them or had someone else buy them.”

Reality is most of them probably did have someone gift it to them or they went into debt.

Some young people are already very successful and well off, kudos to them!

But most are just getting started. No degree yet or a newly earned degree, little or no income, no work history to build up savings. So when you see a 21 year old college student working 10 hours a week at McDonalds and driving a brand new Lexus; it’s more likely that their parents bought it than the college student bought it.

I don’t see that as “offensive” to anyone. It’s reality.

(And I personally don’t care what they drive or who paid for it. Nor do I care what people think about what I drive or who paid for it. )

Post # 56
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Back to the topic at hand.

I think threads asking these types of questions that contain polls probably represent (in the poll) more of the WeddingBee community reality. It is interesting to me to see poll results, but then see the majority of responses come from those who in a “minority” are of the poll.

It also allows those who are more private to share their situation without their name posted to it.

Yet another reason why I love polls.

Post # 57
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@abbyful: I just don’t understand why you even have to make an assumption about where they got what they have.

Post # 58
Member
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well I started the car thread because my car is 10 years old and I may be thinking about a new one soon, so I wanted ideas. I thought the responses (80+) were all varieties and interesting to read. I didn’t get the feeling it was all luxury cars at all but maybe I don’t know much about car prices, lol . If there were a dozen Ferraris and Maseratis I probably would’ve noticed and that definitely wasn’t the case. In fact I noticed many girls drove 10+ year old cars like me and I thought after reading that my car may still last me a while.

I did notice that on the “do you get jealous of girls with big boobs” thread pretty much all the responses from girls who DID have big boobs. Not one person wrote “yeah I feel insufficient in that department”, though I’m sure there must be people who feel that way. I know I have my own body insecurities, and if I started a thread about feeling overweight and all the responses were “well I’m thin and fit so I don’t have that problem” I’d probably feel even worse.

Post # 59
Member
5147 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@KatNYC2011 – You are taking this personally; it’s not. I don’t care what they have, what you have, or who paid for any of it. If you are young and have tons of money, good for you; but most people can’t afford to start buying nice things until after college and they have a career.

Post # 60
Member
8734 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

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@abbyful: I’m not taking it personally at all.  When I see someone young with nice things, mainly I think “good for them”. I don’t think “their parents must have bought them that” or “I bet they went into debt for that.”

Just a different way of thinking I guess. No hard feelings at all. I just never thought of it another way.

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