(Closed) What I have learned about “waiting”– he proposed 10/6!!

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
955 posts
Busy bee

Thank you for taking the time to share all this!

Congratulations!

Post # 4
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Congratulations!!  I agree 100% because I went down the wrong road when waiting for my SO to propose.  I think it could of happened sooner if I would have put my foot down a lot earlier.  Oh well, live and learn.  Hope other take your advice seriously.  Happy planning!! : )

Post # 5
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Very interesting, thankyou for sharing – and most of all, congratulations!!

Post # 7
Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee

Well said! Congratulations on your engagement ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Congrats on your engagement!!!

Post # 9
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Congratulations. I’m glad you are in a better place now.

Post # 10
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I totally agree with the cohabiting thing. I was never going to move in with my BF until we were engaged. But then, I decided I wanted to make a home with him before he went overseas with the army, so that he would have a proper home to think about while he was over there.

However, he knew that us moving in together meant marriage. He also knew that getting a puppy meant marriage (can’t subject a doggy to a broken home!!) but he wasn’t ready to get engaged before he went away and I don’t think I was really 100% ready for it either. Mainly, I wanted to enjoy our engagement together and didn’t want him to be in another country for half of it!

 

So in light of all this we moved in together but he knows I want to get married by the end of next year… So we shall see what he does with this information when he gets home in December!! Haha, it will be interesting I’m sure ๐Ÿ˜‰

But I certainly would never live with someone for years on end, waiting, wanting a proposal but with no idea when it’s coming. I have friends doing that, it’s driving them crazy but we all know their boys  are very comfortable living with their gf and not making the “commitment.” And the girls don’t want to bring it up because they don’t feel they have the right to, or they don’t want to scare their boyfriends away, which just makes me mad because marriage should be a decision between 2 people. It shouldn’t just be the man’s decision, IMO.  (Whoa, I went on a bit of a rant there at the end – sorry about that!!!)

Post # 11
Member
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Congratulations!!  You got engaged on my (future) wedding date! :o)

I definitely agree with everything you said about waiting and cohabitation.  Fiance and I had discussed marriage before we moved in together and it made things SO much easier..

Post # 12
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I haven’t read this since I wrote it seven months ago.  Sweet memories ๐Ÿ™‚  I am the former MsHopeful…and now Ms Flamenco as I plan our wedding.   Thanks again, Bees! 

 

*Note: He actually proposed 10/5/11…must have been too excited when typing the news ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsHopeful:  “  Only move in together if you have a plan to get married.  If you cannot talk about it before then DO NOT move in, it will either never happen or take years.  Save yourself the frustration and talk about it now, if he is not ready then YOU are not ready to move in.”

I’m sorry that may have been true in your experience but that is not true for everyone. Many women are not ready to plan to get married when they move in with a partner. I moved in with my fiance 6 months after we started dating and in no way was ready to start discussing marriage. I had just come out of a bad marriage and wasn’t about to rush things. We got engaged at the right time for us–at the 3 year mark. I don’t think there is anything wrong with moving in together before a commitment to marriage–and I don’t think that doing so reduces the likelihood that you will get engaged at all. Not all relationships end in marriage–whether you live together or not.

Post # 14
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@sylvia.riggle:  I agree with what you’re saying more than you know as it applies to my situation with the first guy I mentioned — I did not want to marry him, I just wanted to continue our relationship so we moved in together.  With that said, this post was geared toward women in “waiting” as the title states–meaning, they’re not only ready for marriage but they are, yep key word again… “waiting”. 

Post # 15
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

“I spent so much time WAITING for him to “make me happy” by getting married that I forgot to make myself happy and make him WANT to get married to this happy woman –why in the world would he want to feel forced into marrying a nagging woman?”

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!  I need to re-read this over and over because I feel as if this is what I need to do in order to attract what it is I want for me and for us.

Post # 16
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@girlgetsring: Just be good to yourself and don’t drive yourself or him crazy:) If you’re ready and he’s not, it is what it is.  This info above is about my life experience but everyone’s life’s journey is different, so yours will not be the same as mine, and yours may not be the same as his.   

I hope you find what makes you happy and that he finds the same, too, whatever that may be.  Good luck!

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