(Closed) What I like best about being an over 40 bride

posted 6 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 3
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I felt the same though I’m a couple of years from 40.  I’m also more sure of myself now than I was in my 20s or early 30s for sure! 

Post # 4
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have definitely learned to focus on what WE want in our wedding. At 54 years old, i am WAY past what others think how my wedding should be. I learned a long time ago the art of smiling politely then doing whatever the hell I want.

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I think what I like best is that we’re completely in control. Our day, our way. ๐Ÿ™‚

And like nycsa, there’s no drama with my friends/honor attendants- I’ve weeded those people out years ago!

Post # 7
Member
9690 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I love being my age, I’d never go back, lol.  My favorite thing about being a bride over 40 is I have finally found the love of my life and feel so blessed every single day.  Also, our sons are both in college, we have established careers and own our own home already, so a lot of the stress of being younger and striving for goals is over.  We can enjoy our lives!  We both became grounded, stable, caring individuals before we even met, and have felt like kindred souls from day one.  Another lovely part is having another chance at love and a wonderful life together; we’re very appreciative of what we share and don’t take it for granted for a second.

I love the “no drama” part as well.  Maybe as more mature women we’re just too tired for all that, lol.  (Just kidding, I have more energy now than at any time in my life.) 

I feel the misconception about aging is how much everything in life seems to improve with age, at least it has for me (for us!).  Smiles.

Post # 8
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t actually feel like I’m 40.

I think I did get more say in what I wanted in our wedding day than my sister did 10 years ago. But my Mom gave me just as much-“you have to invite these people because they are family” as she gave to my sister. She also still did the ‘we aren’t paying for that’ routine, but she was told that’s fine we’ll pay for it. In my case it’s really just the way my Mom is though. There was no bridesmaid drama. It was a low key happy day that I wouldn’t change.

Post # 9
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree that it’s a very liberating thing to not care much about what other people think. I’m 53 and marrying a much younger man. I spent 25 in a loveless, sexless marriage. I tried everything to make it work and stayed so my kids could grow a bit older with as much security as possible. I more than paid my dues and can put my head down at night knowing I did my best especially for my children.  Now I have a chance at real love and happiness and I’m so screamingly excited about marrying this man I can hardly stand it! I feel like I’m 25 but without having to worry about other people’s approval. It rocks ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@nycsa:  It’s amazing what gets stuck in their head sometimes, isn’t it? Glad you are able to resolve it without too much drama.

Post # 13
Member
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@nycsa:  Well, if she wants to be in the wedding party….then she has to help out with the crafts. Fair trade I say. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 14
Member
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m loving the vibe in this thread. ๐Ÿ™‚

I don’t post often, as most stuff doesn’t apply to me.  We are pretty chill about the whole thing, and our wedding will reflect that. I love being a 40+ bride…I litererally don’t care about all of the small stuff.  I’m just looking forward to an awesome party. 

However, i just noticed that its 44 days until the wedding, and I realize that is a CRAPLOAD of stuff yet to do.  I am starting to see what i think is stress in my life!  lol!  It’s pretty foreign, but I’m wondering if anyone else is noticing subtle personality changes as the date looms closer?

It doesn’t help that I’m on day 5 of a 30 day cleanse and I want to eat everything in sight.  UGH. 

How are you doing, 40+ brides?  Anyone stressing?

Post # 15
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

It’s interesting that the closer I’m getting to the date, the more I find myself concerned about (what I know are) pretty insignificant details. It’s almost like I’m trying to give myself more work: ex. for the DIY invites, I *just* thought about doing a band around them- which I know no one will notice, but I’ll think will look great.

Fortunately, I’m running away to the beach this weekend with 3 girlfriends, and I am NOT talking about the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I love having my our money. My mister and I have good jobs and can afford a pretty nice wedding— not breaking the bank or maxing the credit cards, no peeled grapes hand-fed by a servant girl, but an elegant, tasteful event that we’re happy to pay for.  We’re smart enough to know what a reasonable budget is, and smart enough to make the choices that help keep us within the budget without sacrificing anyone’s enjoyment.

This means we don’t have to listen to anyone else’s opinion, and we’re not getting a single push from family to invite long lost cousin Joe or mom’s former co-workers.  There is zero family drama.  Same with the wedding party. Most folks have known each other for years, everyone gets along, everyone respects everyone else’s time.  When it’s time for group decisions, we’re very business-like, here’s the task, look at your calendars, here is who is going to be doing what.

We don’t have a single invited guest who might get too drunk, misbehave, pick a fight, throw up on their shoes, start crying over their long-lost ex, or fall on the cake.  And we’re getting married on a boat so if you’re not invited, good luck swimming out to crash the party!

I absolutely love having a drama-free wedding.  The best part might be— the Mister is quite a bit younger than I am, and has been a responsible adult for years so I don’t have to teach him any of this stuff!

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