- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
Pardon me and my rant, but just wanna get some thoughts out of my head.
I think it puts us women in a vaolnurable spot.
I read a lot of posts here and I feel at times just as bad as everyone else, go though my moods of wanting to kick and scream, other days I am loving and happy, another time just wanna cry….. can’t describe what this is doing. How crazy it makes me.
I have gone through lots of advice here from others and some i gave myself that mey or waren’t right, or worked only temporarly.
I think we loose our torch in the waiting period, we become a smaller person in the relationship, even some women who are confident and strong can get shrinked and their confidence gets smaller and smaller.
Questions that go through head make us question the whole relationship over and over: Does he really love me, if he did he would commit, what can i change about me to give him a push etc…. there are hundreds of thoughts that go through my head over and over, emaking me sink into a sort of a hole of temporary relationship depression!
We wait it out and work on it, look for support and feel better just to another day fall into the darn thing again.
A womans mind is very complicated it seams and resentment keeps growing each time to our SO, and then it dissapers and then back. It’s crazy.
Funny how one gesture from SO or a little hint, word that he will propose can change our miserable feeling into a burst of happiness and we are radiant again and feel good about ourselves ….. that is if those plans keep going and don’t stop. Men have a tendency to procrastinate.
I have done that waiting game, I am doing it now and it drives me nuts!
He should be running around me just like he did when he wanted us to be together. I bet it makes him feel quite in power when he is the one making me wait. What is the point of him asking me to marry him when he knows what the answer will be.
I have recently put Mr’ Bees Plan in play and am actually enjoying it. I started jogging every morning (which SO decided he will join me cuz he doens’t want only me to be in shape) I actually surprised him on various occasions with work i have done around the house and rollerblading , biking trips that I decided to take. He seams to want to join me in everything LOL. And gotta admit, taking off that promise ring from my ER finger to wear it on my right yesterday had put me a little in power here.