- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
This is completely imaginary. I would never actually say this to her.
I heard from A that you now may not be able to come to the wedding. I understand that things change and I completely understand budget problems- believe me- I know it’s not cheap to travel to a wedding. But, first of all, why did you not tell me directly? Why did I have to hear it from her? She said you intended to call me before you left on the fabulous cruise you are now on, but you didn’t.
And also- please tell me “yes” or “no”. I don’t like “maybe” RSVPs. A said that you are still trying to figure out a way to make it, and that’s sweet, but I’m not holding my breath- if you don’t have plane tickets 2.5 weeks from the wedding, I would guess you are not coming. But you RSVP’d yes, so I have to have a spot for you just in case you decide to show up.
Frankly I was surprised when I got your “Yes” RSVP, because I know work is crazy and you have some money concerns. There is a part of me that is cynical and thinks that you always had major doubts about being able to attend, but you said yes anyway just to make sure you didn’t look bad. If you had said no in the first place, I would have been a little disappointed but it would not have caused the annoyance that this situation is now causing me.
I’m guessing you said yes, and now are thinking no, and you won’t actually pick up the phone to talk to me about it because you feel guilty. And maybe you should. A little. Because in June I spent over $1,000 (that I probably should have saved) to spend a week in Florida for your cluster F&*%K of a vow renewal (and bought a hideous bridesmaids dress for it to boot). But you know what? I did it with a smile on my face because I care about you and wanted to be by your side on your (2nd) day. And, you know, despite the money spent, and the stress your complete disorganization caused, I had a really good time that week, so I don’t regret it. I just have to say, in situations like this, people like to hypothetically say “well if it were me, and it was her wedding, I would go”. Well, it WAS me. And I did go.
But that’s not really the point here. If you had just been honest with me from the beginning and said “gosh, I’m sorry, things are just really tight and I don’t think we’ll be able to make it”. I would have understood. I would NOT have guilt tripped you, and I certainly wouldn’t be mad at you. But I am now. Pick up the phone and call me. And please don’t say “well if we can’t make it we will pay you for our plates” (like A told me you might) because that’s kind of a cop out. And it’s not the “nice” thing to do. The nice thing is to be honest about your RSVP to begin with.
Thanks for letting me vent Bees. Any of you have imaginary messages/ conversations that you would never actually do but might feel good to type it out anyway? Feel free to “let it out” here.