(Closed) What if he died tomorrow? :(

posted 12 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My fiancee and I always tell each other to be careful, wear seatbelts, etc. because we wouldn’t know what to do without each other, but we’ve never talked about what we would atctually do in a concrete way.

I’m young (24, nearly 25), so I think I’d move from our current apartment in Atlanta (where we’ve lived for over 4 years together) to my home town just so that I wouldn’t have to be living in the place where all of our memories together were. I think it would just be too hard to sleep in our bed without him there. I honestly can’t imagine the rest of my life without him by my side, so I have a hard time fathoming how I’d function.

Post # 18
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

My fiance was killed in a car accident a year ago 4 months before our wedding date.  I wish no one else had to go through that tragedy.  I’m compelled to add because I thought I was the only unlucky one (I’m glad to know that it works out for hanmay and maybe it will be for me too..thank you for sharing!) 

Post # 19
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

Having experienced loss before, this is never that far from my mind.  It is so painful to think of, since I waited so long to find the right guy.  I can’t imagine starting over, so we just try to cherish every moment and be responsible to each other for our safety.

I’m sorry for the Bees who have actually gone through this.  You are strong ladies and I wish you peace and happiness.

Post # 20
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We’re not married yet and the house isn’t in my name, so I’d be in big trouble since I can’t afford the mortgage by myself. I’d probably stay in the Boston area though and not move home to Rhode Island. I don’t know what I’d do with myself though..I’d be a complete mess.

Post # 21
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

We’ve actually talked about this too … when I moved in with my fiance (then boyfriend) he put me partially on his life insurance so that I could continue to live in the condo we live in now — we are in the process now that we’re engaged and almost married to have e on 100% of his life insurance. But to be honest, I really don’t know what I would do. I can really see myself just holing up and not doing much of anything for a long long time, I would just be devastated. I think I’d probably eventually move home to be with my parents. Goodness – sad to think about this Wednesday morning!    

Post # 22
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Thanks for adding your comment dirtgirl must have been a horrendously tough year for you and I’m sure that’s an understatement. If it helps to talk to a stranger who maybe understands some of what you may still be feeling than email me at [email protected], and well done for getting through the first year of horrible ‘firsts’.

Post # 23
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

We haven’t talked about this so I’m not exactly sure what I would do ๐Ÿ™ If FH died tomorrow, since I still live with my family I’d probably stay there… or maybe I move to MD where my extended family lives, but I don’t think I could leave my friends, mom, dad and sister and especially FH b/c he’d be barried here.

Post # 24
Member
5822 posts
Bee Keeper

Wierd, my Fiance and I just talked about this!   I told him to find a nice girl who would make a good mother (since I know he loves kids…) and to move on.  Basically something like in P.S. I Love You (which makes me bawl every time I see it!)  He got so emotional, we didn’t even get around to what I would do without him (which is shut myself in a room and eat chocolate until the room filled with wrappers…) 

Post # 25
Member
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We haven’t talked about this, and I guess it’s because it would be upsetting for both of us, especially me because I worry every time he doesn’t answer his phone or is late, I’m so worried something has happened to him! Right now my life is in transition and I’m about to move in with Fiance. If he were to die, my whole world would spin. I hate my job, and we were planning on saving so if I  can’t find a job by the wedding, I can quit. If he were to die, I would probably be overcome with grief. I’d more than likely move back to Maryland with my parents and mourn for a few months, then think things over and maybe move somewhere new, I could not move back to DC.

Post # 26
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

This is so sad to think about ๐Ÿ™

I would die inside. He’s my world, my best friend, my everything! I have a great family that would be there no question, but how do move on when you know your SO was so right for you??

Post # 27
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I hate when my mind drifts to this subject.  I usually quickly make myself think of something else.  I would be devasted.  We haven’t talked about what we would do yet.  We purchased a house over a year ago, and I def. couldn’t pay the mortgage by myself.  So I’d move back home with my parents (who are only 5 minutes away).  Same with him.  Other than that I’d probably mourn in my room for a long time.  I have a great support system, but I still couldn’t imagine life without him.  We’ve been together over 7 years now and have spent a lot of time together.  He’s my best friend.

I couldn’t imagine that pain of loss…someone you love so much.  I also can’t imagine when we’re old and one of us passes.  Someone you’ve spent pretty much your whole life with is gone, and you can’t bring them back.  Heart-wrentching.  My mom always said my grandfather died of a broken heart.  He was perfectly fine until my grandmother passed of cancer.  A few months later he died pretty unexpectedly. 

Okay I have to go to another post, this is making me sad ๐Ÿ™

Post # 28
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

aw you guys maded me cry ๐Ÿ™

this topic is always on my mind, but is something that FH does not ever want to talk about.  I would be so devestated, but I know that eventually I’ll forget the feeling and move on…that’s just what I do… i tend to forget sad stuff in the long run.

FH would probably do fine, he somehow can pretty much take care of himself and be happy regardless of what happens.  He can occupy his time pretty easily and is easily satisifed too.

money wise, i think we will both be okay with the other… we’re both simple and don’t need much to survive on, and we both have pretty good pay potential.

Post # 29
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

I’m not sure what he would do… we started dating right after he got out of the military, so he hasn’t experienced life as a civilian without me. I think he’d try to go to grad school like we’re planning now. I can’t imagine what it would be like for him.

As for me… I would be where I was before I met him, just with his furniture and car. I want to think that I’d move back to where my parents are, but the economy isn’t good there and the cost of living is much higher than where I am now. I’m not sure what I would do, though, because my life plan has been more famil-oriented than career-oriented, so if I lost him I’d be at square one, essentially.

Post # 30
Member
578 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Well just like everyone else we have talked about this. My Fiance is a firefighter and he will say in passing sometimes that he wants to go in a collapse during a fire. So then I always say we are going together so as they are pulling him out I will be waiting in the ambulance to treat and take him to the hospital then while enroute the ambulance will wreak and we will die together. I know this is really morbid but it is our way of dealing with the stress of our jobs.

But in all reality I can’t imagine getting that flag handed to me. Nor could I stand it. I dont know how I would make it. Would I? I am sure, but there would be many days and months and years for that matter that I never left the house. I don’t think I would ever move on. I would just work and live in our house. Maybe not the healthest thing but it is the truth.

As for him I don’t know. He can’t and won’t talk about it without getting emotional. So we don’t talk about it.

But I will say everyday that I hear him get dispatched to a fire I pray he comes home and I get to see him healthy and alive in his sexy bunker gear, smelling all yummy. I pray our life is forver like that. I know that when I go into a bad scene he is always feeling the same!

Life is short! Live it up!

Sorry so long!

Post # 31
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I actually just talked about this with my students.  We’re reading Romeo and Juliet, who both kill themselves when they think the other is dead.  The kids all asked me what I would do if Boy died, and I honestly don’t know.  I told them I would  be sad, but you have to move on and live your life.

 Boy and I joke about this often, that if one of us died the other would have the perfect pickup line, but really we’d both be a mess without the other.  I think that I would probably end up moving back in with my parents for a little while… maybe go back to school and hide out in a library somewhere, studying an obscure author.  

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