Post # 32
@creeative1: I love your less is more dealy- and I wish I go back and take a deposit back on our venue, return my dress, etc…..and just run away. I really do. While we have tried to make everything low-key (we are going with “formal-chill” type of wedding)- it seems like EVERYTHING I do doesn’t make SOMEONE happy…..securing a date was an issue because my sister had apparently planned a 2-year-later-honeymoon-which of course she didn’t really bother to announce to anyone….and her husband decided to take it to another level and harrass the sh*t out of me because the first date we picked was the day they were supposed to come back- WTF?!?!
Then it was hard picking a venue, but staying in line with our budget- because neither one of us WANTED to spend $XXXXXXXXX on 1 day- our love isn’t going to be better with the more $$ we spend. Well guess what- here we are spending way too much.
Finding a dress became stressful, and the list goes on.
I wish we would have stuck with our initial idea of just going to Vegas, getting married (not at a Vegas chapel or anything- but just in Vegas)- hand for a few days, and have a casual reception at home the following summer. I’d be a lot happier right now.
Post # 33
@housebee: that saddens me…. and while it is occuring in other countries, gotta wonder where it originated at, often times people follow what we do in the U.S. That is just sad, people killingi themsleves…. WOW
Post # 34
@MrsEME: I am so sorry…. really I am… weddings and funerals can bring out the worst in people. Your big day is coming up soon and I know it will all go off without a hitch….
Post # 35
@CaroBee: Now that’s what I say.. I started off saying I would do some DIY stuff like our cake topper and my brooch bouquet…. NOT…. but I did find someone to do all of those things from me dirt cheap… I found a really nice lady on ebay who made my cake topper for $25 and it is totally unique and she also made my bouquet and my sisters both of them for $90… cuz I am not spenidng money on flowers… at all…
So I am so glad yours is stress free.. Mine is pretty stress free as well because I don’t have any family pressure or anything like that and my Fiance and set a budget and we stuck to it and we are keeping it small- 80 people or so….
Post # 36
@creeative1: ya the lounge to me made me laugh when i thought about the post ere talking about the older gen doing it at home i want a lounge so it will feel chill like home lol its so ironic when u think of it
ya its like my mom i am an only child so this is kinda big huge deal for her plus she was a single mom when my dad left so she worked hard and does deserve a party … i just wanna say the vows somewhere meaningful i flad i found a space thats beautiful so when i think back even if its not outside its a key hole court yard with climbing vines and its has a get vibe to it like i could see rememebring that one spot forever so thats all that really mattered to me
now i getting into dresses (cause i need something formal lol now) and i wont lie my head wants to blow up … everything i like for some reaosn is insanely prices the thignsi dont like arn’t lol
Post # 37
@creeative1: There is a whole series covering this topic on APracticalWedding.com called vintage weddings (or something like that).
I’ve always thought it was kind of funny though, because my parent’s wedding in 1980 was totally over the top. For example, without even adjusting for inflation my mom’s wedding dress cost 4x what mine did. So there definetly are cultures where big, stressful weddings have been the norm for a lot more than the past 20 years.
Post # 38
I’m from South Africa and I can assure you that the crazy marketing money making wedding scheme has reached us as well. Anything vaguely attached to a wedding will automatically have its price jacked up. And here weddings can be productions as well as we are a melting pot of various cultures , so many woman dream of having their cultural wedding (which generally is a HUGE affair in itself) as well as your typical white wedding. So it becomes a ridiculously LARGE moneymaking scheme.
That said, its hard not to fall for it. So yes I am doing a lot of DIY (but I’ve always been crafty and since I’m in the arts industry its to be expected I suppose); having a garden wedding at a colonial hotel and reception in a ballroom. But I’m trying not to lose focus on the true meaning behind the day, not allow anyone elses opinions/judgements change my and FI’s dreams about the day (he is super involved in all the planning) and keep the guestlist to people who have actively been involved in or supported my and FI’s relationship thus far. When it comes down to it, this is a celebration not only for you as a couple but for two families who, never would have connected without your shared love. Thats the main thing.
Post # 39
Just an aside ‘Africa’ is a continent – not a country
Post # 40
I’m totally with you. Ironically it was my older family members who had the same basement church receptions that pressured me and DH into having a big affair. I would have been happy hanging out in the back yard but ultimately we did it all for them. Call it guilt for living overseas…
Post # 41
I soooo wish we were having a simple wedding/reception that was a little more personal than going to the courthouse but:
- Neither one of us have a yard.
- My mother’s yard is in California and not in the shape to hold any events
- We are apartment dwellers – no space.
- We are not members of churches.
- Cake & punch sounds gross to me. It’s like drinking orange after brushing your teeth. I also can’t deal with the sugar. 😀
Our very small budget wedding has been extremely stressful for me so I totally get what the OP is saying about larger cirque du soleil style affairs.
Post # 42
Several years ago a friend was having their wedding in Sacramento. They were from India and the father of the groom rented an entire 4-star hotel for 4 solid days and 5 nights. An entire hotel! They didn’t even know all of the guests. Each meal for the week for all guests was an elaborate display that would make The French Laundry (in Yountville, CA) look like a Denny’s. I’m sure the whole show was in the millions.
Post # 43
This is my second time down the aisle and I really agree less is more. My first wedding was very elegant and black tie but we kept it around 100 guests and didnt go crazy spendng. Dinner was amazing…everything was held in a beautiful hotel in the mountains that threw in the grand ball room and ceremony room since we were having them cater….My dress was from a previous season and I did as much as I could myself just to keep myself busy. My ring was a family heirloom and I just didnt get obsessed with having xbrand invitations and unicorn drawn carriages. We paid for it ourselves and left the location with the entire thing paid off. I am doing it that way again. While I may pay more for my dress this time if I find a dress I love I am not convinced spending $10,000 or more on the day makes it better in any way at all. Dan and I are planning for our future and our marriage….its not all about the day its about the life to follow.
Post # 44
@howsweetitis: Yes, my mother’s wedding was way more elaborate than mine but her parents paid for it and she had no control over it.
Post # 45
I think a lot of it has to do with brides getting married at an older age. They now have a lot more disposable income than they would have had they gotten married younger.
It’s hard to compare apples to apples with our grandparents’ generation. I know a big part of why there weren’t more big weddings back then is that it is probably really hard to plan a huge wedding while you’re in high school.
Part of me thinks that, had they had the means that a lot of us do now, they would have jumped at the chance to have a catered affair with custom linens and chiavari chairs.
Post # 46
@creeative1: My wedding is going to be less as more for sure I realized this when I was getting flustered and said EFF IT! lol.