(Closed) What if, less were more??????????? Weigh in on this one

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 62
1076 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Well I can say that in Australia we still go to the effort that US bees do. 

I think a lot of people stress themselves out over nothing. I’ve loved wedding planning and to be honest it hasn’t really caused me stress at all- we’re not having a super casual wedding, but we aren’t spending over 10k either. We did have a long engagement though, but really I don’t understand why so mant people have bridal meltdown moments. It seems like people actually come on here to BRAG about being a bridezilla sometimes. 

Wedding planning gets made in to a bigger deal than it actually is. 

Post # 63
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

I completely agree with you!

We eloped because we felt similar to you.

I think marketing has been something that has perpetuated this, along with disney movies, and the entertainment industry.

Post # 64
134 posts
Blushing bee

Since I am a bit older than your 40+, I can tell ya in one word:  NARCISSISM!!!  Particularly with this generation, I have seen an explosion of “Look at Me, Look at Me!” behavior.  Exhibited by Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, blah, blah, etc. etc, it is all about ppl, trying to outdo and one-up each other.  They LOVE seeing themselves on social media, by their 15 minutes of fame.  They lack maturity, they lack social skills, they lack experience, they lack plenty the generations had before them.  I see so many in love with being a “bride” I think most won’t know how to be “wives”.  And this is without using 6 years of psych/social degrees.

Post # 65
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Baron:  Wow, tell us how you really feel!   Ha ha!

I think I would also blame it on the transparent celebrity generation that’s fueled by social media and our need to live like the Kardashians or whoever is popular in the moment. 

Post # 66
2748 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@creeative1:  My wedding was definitely a less was more event! I looks a little more pricey than it was because we filled it with quality cheap decor that ranged from free to ten dollars. I had a caterer do mac and cheese, bbq brisket, seasoned mix veggies, and fries (that we made and they just kept heated). We didn’t have a cake and instead got of pies that were on sale and instead of a open or cash bar we brought our own beers and wine.Our venue wasn’t even an official venue! It was a vacation rental that was a lot cheaper than anywhere else! 

In the end it was simple and perfect for us! Around 80 or less people and all of them family (except bridal party). 

Post # 67
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

“Less is More” Good words from my favorite Mies-ter.

Though I think we live in the times of Robert Venturi: “Less is a Bore”

I wish our wedding was simple, but I am sure there will be plenty of other opportunities in my life for simplicity – the fanfare and hoopla were important to my fiance. 🙂

Post # 68
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We are definitely less is more! The only part I’m not liking about it is figuring out the damn guest list…we are using a campsite as our venue so we are extremely limited on who can come, but I know that people will be offended. They are just going to have to get over it. lol All they are missing is a short, short wedding and a bonfire with a s’mores bar after.

Post # 69
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@MrsSparkle10:  I think this has a LOT to do with it- altough the upper classes have historically had elaborate weddings, weddings as an event were generally in keeping with any other events that family might host- they weren’t extreme outliers (ie, a very rich person might have a very expensive wedding, but it would not be dramatically more expensive than any other social event they might host). And until the 20th century, weddings were usually morning affairs followed by a breakfast.

I think the rise in weddings as A Magical Day corresponds with the decreasing social importance of actual marriage. In a time when marriage literally made the wife property of her husband and was almost impossible to end except through the death of one partner, it did not take a lot of trappings to impress on others the magnitude of the step the couple was taking. Just the act of getting married was major enough that even with quite a simple celebration it was universally understood to be a Huge Deal (for better or worse). Whether the couple did it with a fancy clothes in front of everyone or eloped to Gretna Greem, they were in it for life and it dramatically and permanently altered the legal and financial position and identify of the wife.

In the modern era, when no-fault divorce is common and and many couples cohabitate long before or instead of marriage, an elaborate wedding is a way many people try to signal their seriousness. The more ceremony and trappings, the more “real” the wedding, the more serious their intent. Although marriage is still a huge step emotionally, it (thankfully) is no longer nearly the vast legal and social step it once was- you’re not signing your actual bodily autonomy and all your worldy goods over to your husband upon marriage, so a big celebration in front of everythat helps restore some of the “weightiness” we collectively realize a marriage no longer entails.


(ps-I say all this without judgement and I’m talking about slow societal trends over the last two centuries, not trying to imply that any individual brides are booking photo booths for their receptioms because we’ve outlawed marital rape or anything).

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