Post # 1
I know everyone said it’s normal for people to not rsvp but for reasons I’ll save everyone details on I know only 2 people in my family are coming–the rest refuse to talk to me. Half bc I became a Christian, the other half because I decided to move out of state. None of my friends from my home town are coming. That pretty much leaves just my small church and fiances immediate family that we know for sure are coming. Our wedding of 120-150 people is now down to about 50, about 15 of which are in the wedding.
We already paid for our venue and can’t get the money back–we’re also having friends cater our wedding so all the food is bought too.
What happens if all the other people we invited don’t show up? These would be other friends and people we know, several who are from other out of state areas (not back from my hometown).
How do you deal with the embarrassment? Should we or even is there a way to make a large church sanctuary look like it was set up for a smaller crowd?
I know I may be jumping the gun or irrationally panicking but I’m almost to the point of tears that I already dealt with rejection from my friends and family over stupid reasons. I don’t want to be publicly humiliated either.
Anyone have advice or just encouragement? I thought planning a wedding was supposed to be tons of fun and its turning out to just be so emotionally draining
Post # 2
First of all, that sucks! I’m so sorry that you are having to spend the days leading up to your wedding upset and nervous and that your friends and family aren’t rallying around you. Big hugs honey!!!
Second of all, I think the wedding planning process is at least somewhat traumatic and very stressfull for a lot of brides, so your not alone.
My wedding will consist of around the same number of guests as your minimum, and I do think its still a respectable amount. I am sure there are ways of making the venue size work. In terms of extra food, how amazing would it be to donate it, think of all the good newlywed karma you could spread! And you will have more time to spend with those people who do come. It sounds like you are starting a new stage in your life, so nurture those new friendships and those who stood by you. Its not about quantity, its quality!
At the end of the day, 50 people or 150, this wedding is what you make of it. Own it. Let yourself enjoy it. If you have a smile on your face and a fantastic new husband at your side there is nothing to be embarrassed about!
Post # 3
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I don’t know if my story helps or not, but I can relate but more so through my fiance’s point of view. We spent the first 4 years of our relationship living in the same state as his family (they’ve always treated me like an outsider, even though I keep trying because its important to me for them to like me) and recently my grandfather got sick with cancer. We ended up moving back to my hometown in a different state to spend time with him and help out. His family calls and guilt trips him saying that they can’t believe that he left them and who is gonna take care of them and so on. Its emotionally draining to him. In the process, we lost my grandfather and my parents were left with so many responsibilities and two households to take care of. They asked us to stay and offered us the land and the house that I grew up in and on. We both agreed that it was an honor to be asked and we wanted to be here to help take care of them (my family loves him and treats him like their own). So we started planning our wedding here and his family is like, well how are we supposed to come? (It takes $300 round trip to get here and back and there are 11 1/2 months until the wedding). This is their only son, they are have incomes, but they can’t save $30 per month to come to their only son’s wedding? It makes me sad, because he’s such a sweetheart and always takes care of everybody, he has always been there for them whether moneywise, timewise, or laborwise. (Sometimes I wish he could just be able to spend time with them without them always needing something from him). Now, I’m worried because his family isn’t going to travel unless we pay for it (which we can’t afford with all the other wedding expenses) and I don’t want him to feel like our wedding is just my family and friends. When I told him I was worried about this, his sweet reply was that it didn’t matter anyway because the only thing he’ll notice on our wedding day is how his beautiful girl will become his beautiful wife. He really made me take a step back and stop worrying so much. He’s right, its about us and our love. Its not about who is going to show up and even if its just the two of us, we’re gonna celebrate our love with the best day ever because we’re together and thats all we need.