(Closed) What if you got the ring.. and hated it?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What would you do if he proposed with a ring you didn't like?
    I'd fake a smile and graciously accept -- then quietly tell him the truth later : (121 votes)
    49 %
    I'd grin and bear it -- and wear it proudly, forever! : (103 votes)
    42 %
    I wouldn't be able to hide a negative reaction. : (24 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This scenario is why I picked my ring. Haha.

    Post # 3
    Member
    940 posts
    Busy bee

    When it comes to my man I wear my emotions on my sleeve… he would see right through me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    My fiancé picked out my ring as he wanted it to be a surprise. I absolutely love my ring, he did an amazing job and picked a ring more beautiful and more ‘me’ than I could have ever chosen for myself.

    Part of me loves it because it is a beautiful ring, but the reason I love it the most is because he picked it with me in mind. He went into that shop and put so much thought and attention into what i would like and that means the world to me… So, if he had picked something I didn’t like, or wouldn’t have chosen for myself, if would still wear it with pride because of the thought that went into it.

    Post # 6
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

     

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    smilestorm:  
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    zippy85:  haha I picked my ring too. What was unexpected is that most people assume he picked it out. I always get comments like “he did good!” or “he has good taste!”. He knew me enough not to surprise me with one and he was relieved that he didn’t have to worry if I would like it or not.

    Post # 7
    Member
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    This is why I picked out every detail of my ring.  If I hadn’t, and I hated my ring, well…you’re about to be married to him so you should be able to tell him anything…

    Post # 8
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    Alpine1994:  We picked it out together.  We both loved my ring when I first put it on.  I just didn’t like the idea of wearing something the rest of my life that wasn’t the “perfect” one for me.  He did surprise me with the matching band so there’s that. lol

     

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    EnglishRose1986:  That’s really awesome.  I think if I had avoided ring shopping and didn’t look at them all day for several months I would have been happy with what he picked because we had a similar ring in mind… but once I saw this ring it was like the dress – i knew it was the “one”.  I wish I could have been surprised but I’m just not good at that! haha!

    Post # 9
    Member
    92 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I was fortunate enough to be able to choose both my diamond and my setting.

    However, I am certain that my fiance would have chosen something very similar if he had to do it on his own. That’s because he knows my taste and my style. He probably wouldn’t have picked the EXACT ring, but pretty darn close. It’s my opinion that if a guy buys a girl a ring that she absolutely hates, he doesn’t know her very well. Besides that, it is selfish for not getting a general idea of her personal preferences or at least asking a close friend or family member what she likes. After all, she is the one who will be wearing the ring every day for the rest of her life. 

    That’s just my two cents. I’m sure others disagree.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1983 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I could’ve cared less what the ring looked like, so long as I married my man. The ring is just a perk. 🙂 and it’s a gift too. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I helped pick mine out to avoid this problem. He’s not the best at picking jewelry for me and he knows it so he wanted to make sure that I got something I love. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    9379 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    my ring was delayed and Darling Husband wanted to propose sooner than later. he asked if it was ok to propose without a ring,  of course this was no problem.

    my mom didn’t want me to go without a ring on my finger so she gave me her engagement ring to wear.  i didn’t want to wear it as it was a pear (my least favorite stone shape) with baguettes.  this was not a ring i would want at all.  but i wore it knowing it was temporary.  and then the strangest thing happened, i grew to love it.  although i love my real ering, that Darling Husband designed, it is perfect in every way.   i was a little sad to see my place holder ering go away.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee

    I was in this exact situation.  We had not talked about rings or gone ring shopping, then one day my ex proposed with one of his grandmother’s rings.  I didn’t even realize he was proposing!  I wound up saying something a few weeks later asking if I could get my own ring.  It started a huge fiasco (and looking back, I think it was the beginning of the end of our relationship) and unfortunately was a huge deal with his family as well (it’s not like it was an heirloom ring given to him).  I did get my own ring but we broke up a few months later.  

    I’m not upset with myself for saying anything but I’m not sure I would do it again if I was in that position.  If he had spent a lot of time and effort picking something out and didn’t get the style right, I would probably just wear it.  If he just went to the store and got the first thing he saw, then I would feel comfortable saying something.  If you’re going to marry this person you should be able to tell him anything.

    Post # 14
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee

    My engagement ring isn’t my style – at all. I had shown him a picture of what I wanted which was a halo, but I got a solitare. I wanted platinum or white gold and I got yellow gold.

    It’s not my dream ring but I love it because he proposed with it and it’s an heirloom. It has a lot of meaning and for me that trumps aesthetics. 

    Some day down the line, I will upgrade to my dream ring, but for now – it’s perfect.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    3536 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

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    zippy85:  What did Samantha say on Sex and the City: “Wrong ring; wrong man”??? Lol

    My boyfriend and I worked together on the ring, I would show him ideas, he would show me his ideas, so even though the ring was a “surprise”, he had seen what my taste in rings was.

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