Post # 46
Hey there. Nobody said anything about complaining about diamonds not being big enough or having a ring represent how much someone loves another.
But if you accept the tradition of ring-giving — which, judging by your story, sounds like you do — then it’s a simple question: What if you got a ring and the stye was “god awful”? How would you react?
It’s no different than if I were to ask you or anyone — “What if someone gave you a gift and you didn’t care for it?”
Starting this thread/asking this question isn’t the problem and doesn’t make anyone materialistic. Sorry if you can’t see that. To be honest, your vehemently defensive post makes you sound very insecure.
Post # 47
I laughed so hard when I read your response that I spilled the tea I was drinking
Post # 48
my fave response. This lady gets it! Far too many people miss the point of gettig engaged/married. It’s about spending your life with someone you love, not showing off some metal on your finger x
Post # 50
While I get the whole “dont be materialistic” about the ring… you’re buying the ring for HER. You’re proposing to HER with this ring. And you would want HER to love it, right? So saying that you’re supposed to just suck it up and deal with whatever he gives you, even if you can’t stand it is a little absurd.
For me, it’s something I will wear for the rest of my life. If you’d like me to wear it then I should like it! I would probably say something to him after some of the newly engagedness wore off.
Post # 51
this senario literally gave me nightmares before my Fiance proposed…haha serioualy.
i had a feeling he was going to pop the question soon, but he was also planning for it to be a total surprise. on more than one occasion, i had dreams that i ended up with some ugly and weird rings… ugh. i mentioned it to my Fiance and told him that i did not want an Engagement Ring that was made out of wire and wrapped around my whole hand haha…
anyway, my point is this: my mind frame was that i would WANT to absolutely love whatever i got, regardless of what it looked like, because it’s a symbol of my guy’s love…etc. etc. but i have to be honest, i know myself. i have a specific taste ESPECIALLY in bling & if i am going to be wearing something EVERY SINGLE DAY OF FOREVER… i really want to like it from an objective AND subjective standpoint.
so, yeah, i feel you. i don’t know what i would do… i guess i would just accept it and then gently broach the subject of changing the setting or something later…
PS: i ended up loving my ring.. my fiance may not be the most jewlery savy, but he’s smart. he kept some pics of rings i had said i liked and showed them to the family jewler. he understood my feeling of wanting to love the ring i would be wearing forever. also, he aims to please. in this case, since i am the one wearing the ring all the time, he would put my tastes ahead of his.
Post # 52
I would not react negatively like throwing a hissy fit or something like that but my Fiance would know if I didn’t like it because apparently I have a fake nervous laugh when I don’t wanna hurt someone’s feelings! Luckily I adore my ring
Post # 53
This was my exact experience too. The only tip I gave my Fiance is no yellow gold.
When I saw the ring, I loved it! He couldn’t have picked out a more perfect ring. I wanted him to choose because when i looked at the ring i wanted to be like this is what he wanted me to have. What shocked me is how well he knew me and the design he picked is better than what I would have picked.
Post # 54
This is what I’m afraid of! I love, love, love my ring, but my fiance has already mentioned upgrading it in 10 years (that’s what his papaw did – upgraded his mamaw’s ring every 10 years). I gave him this look of horror and was like there’s no way I’m giving up this ring. I couldn’t believe how attached I am already to it and I’ve only had it 2 months!
Post # 55
Hmm… It is not a black and white response for me so I really couldn’t vote.
I knew I was going to get proposed to and I knew he really wanted to be the one to pick out my ring. Prior to him proposing, I had quite a few sit down talks with myself and feeding my perspectives so I don’t set myself up for big disappointment.
The ring for me is an outward sign of him choosing me to be his wife. The ring to me was not intended to be the most glamorous or biggest ring or a fashion statement since that is something I can buy for myself to match my fashion style and tastes.
<br />With that said, I don’t want a ring that is ugly either or one that doesn’t really fit with my overall personality/style. If the ring is not what I had imagine or wanted, but still beautiful, I would gracefully accept and wear it with pride because it is his ring too. But if the ring was totally far away from my style, I would speak up because that also implies he may not know me well enough and that needs to be addressed before marriage as to me that is an insight of what is to come in terms of future and relationships awareness.
<br />The ring my fiancé surprised me with is beautiful… it us simple/delicate but with a twist which is exactly what I wanted. I had hoped for a .50 carat range diamond but instead I got a .25 carat. When I look at my ring… I actually love it…. I am not going to ask for a bigger stone because it is still just as beautiful the same. When I asked for delicate and dainty… he took that literally when he chose the stone size and I learned that dainty and delicate really means different things to different people.
As someone who wants to support and respect my fiancé and husband to be… I am committed to making him feel proud of his achievements and not to emasculate him. This is far more important to me than getting the exact ring I want. In return, he does build me up instead of tear me down for all of my attempts and ways to love him and on my walk embracing life each day.
Post # 56
I think if your concern is how nice your ring is, you should trust that your SO knows you well enough to know what you’d like
Post # 57
I have had a love affair with jewelry since I was a little girl. I had been designing my ring in my head and with hubby’s input we created a ring we both love. Having said that, if he’d proposed with something I hated I’d have worn it proudly bought a spectacular wedding band and then only crack the ering out for special occasions.
Post # 58
At the end of the day, if you can’t be honest with your SO about the ring, which is JUST a ring, let me remind you… I can’t imagine how you’d handle more important issues that will pop up in your marriage.
Post # 59
I honestly don’t think this would happen to me, but if it did I would still love it and wear it and show it off. But I’m pretty laid back about the ring I guess. I just am looking forward to him popping the question, ring or not! But Bf knows what I like and what I don’t like, I’m also pretty lucky because our tastes for my jewelry are similar. As long as he went with white gold and not yellow or rose we would be ok over here! 🙂 If somehow I did end up with something I didnt like I would probably be able to hide it during the proposal since I’d be so excited anyway!
Post # 60
If he bought me something I really didn’t like, said nothing to him and then chose not to wear it, I think that would hurt him more than simply being honest.