(Closed) What if you got the ring.. and hated it?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: What would you do if he proposed with a ring you didn't like?
    I'd fake a smile and graciously accept -- then quietly tell him the truth later : (121 votes)
    49 %
    I'd grin and bear it -- and wear it proudly, forever! : (103 votes)
    42 %
    I wouldn't be able to hide a negative reaction. : (24 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    3091 posts
    Sugar bee

    zippy85:  i would love it because he picked it out.

    if it was just THAT bad i would maybe suggest an upgrade for a 5year anniversary? But i would most likely keep it and wear it

    Post # 63
    Member
    99 posts
    Worker bee

    This actually happened to me. We have similar tastes so I could see why he thought he could just surprise me with something he’d chosen, but… yeah. I was moved to tears by his proposal and did not want to ruin the moment or say something rude.

    The next day, I brought up that I’d like to have the receipt to exchange the ring, at which point he told me they couldn’t do any returns or exchanges. My heart plummeted because this is such an expensive purchase and if he’s going to spend the money and I’m going to wear this forever, it needs to be right! I feel bad about this now, but I chastised him gently and asked for the receipt anyway. I went to the store, and they tried telling me that I couldn’t exchange or return, but I held firm and eventually had the store manager, two SAs, and corporate on the phone. In the end, I managed to get my exchange and now of course I wear the ring everyday! It’s just what I wanted.

    That was awhile ago. Now I don’t think Darling Husband even remembers that I exchanged the ring, but he’s still very proud of his proposal, brought it up just two days ago, haha. 

    If I had it to do over, I would have pointed out rings that I liked in advance. Just I didn’t know that he was even going to propose so I had no idea.

    Post # 64
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: January 2016

    RosieLou:  

    Your too funny…lol…Im entitled to my opinion…Though I’m sure you could breeze through the 100,000 threads on rings “not being big enough”…One can also argue that for some not all ladies it’s about having the best ring…One that will make everyone drool…I bought my lady a really beautiful ring, it was the best I could do and she loved me for it…

    Post # 65
    Member
    5 posts
    Newbee

    I’ve actually had my SO sit down with me because he was curious what sort of jewelry I did like, and what I didn’t. Essentially I just went through on the web showing examples of stuff that was “good” and stuff that was “bad”…I’m assuming it was informative because he was attentative the whole time.. 

    Post # 66
    Member
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee

    I would need to like the ring. I would appreciate it and I understand it’s a gift but I have to wear it forever and see nothing wrong with wanting to like the jewelery you see. So, I would have a conversation with him later on sometime when I could get the guts to do so.lol But, at the time of the proposal, he will never know I dont like it.Ha.

    Post # 67
    Member
    777 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I picked out my ring and I send it to him every so often so he doesn’t forget. I have given him specifics lol. I am very picky so he knows me enough to know not to surprise me because even though I picked I’d smile and tell him later he’d be able to see straight through that. Exactly how I feel shows on my face 9 times out of 10.

    I will say that prior to completely deciding on a ring we had discussions about what I wanted, as it is unusual because I want a black diamond and some people wouldn’t agree with that, so once he was on board with the diamond I wanted we talked specs both came to an agreement on the idea of it until I actually saw one that I fell in love with.

    Post # 68
    Member
    777 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    LoubieLove:  I can’t understand why a man would want to buy a woman a ring she doesn’t like and it isn’t even about diamond size because some women don’t even want diamond rings. I think it is more about knowing your spouse and her taste.

    realmenwearthepants247:  In this case the problem may be that a man thinks he needs to buy the biggest and the best diamond when in actuality his spouse could not want a diamond at all. Maybe she loves rubies and wants that to be her e-ring, maybe she doesn’t want a stone period. So talking to your spouse about what kind of ring she’d want to wear is more about communication than it is about “being grateful that someone bought her a ring at all” as you so politely stated.

    Post # 69
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

     I think if the ring is your main priority then you probably arent ready to be getting married, you just want the jewelry and the party that goes with it. I mean I get that you’ll be the one wearing it and everything but does it really matter? Honestly there isn’t a ring my SO could give me that I wouldn’t be over the moon about. Is just be ecstatic he was asking. Telling a man (who loves you enough to not only want to marry you but to carefully pick out a ring and probably spend a fortune on it) that you don’t like what he picked is selfish and unbelievably materialistic. You’d be seriously hurting him for the sake of jewelry.

    Post # 70
    Member
    1319 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My Fiance originally wanted to pick out my ring by himself (he didn’t even want me giving hints!) because that’s the way he felt it was supposed to be done. I finally convinced him that it would be a fun process to do together and it didn’t matter what his parents thought about our untraditional process, and we’re both soooo glad that we did. Me especially since he wasn’t allowing the hints. Even though we loved the engagement ring we picked, we still ended up picking another ring out as an anniversary gift that would match better with a wedding band. I wear both rings though.

    Post # 71
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee

    I voted the first option, but now that I reflect on it, I think that either the ring would be so far from my taste that I would question how well he knows and understands me, or I think I would feel so sentimental about it that I would want to keep it, and just try to augment with more of my taste through the band.

    Post # 72
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee

    I think I could love anything that he gave me, but if it was something that was not to my taste… I would have to start wondering how well he really knows me.

    Every relationship is different, but I live with my S.O, he knows my style, and I have sent him photos of rings I like, and we have gone ring browsing at jewelry stores. The ring wouldn’t have to be any particular one, but I would be really surprised if he gave me a ring that looked nothing like what I showed him.

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