Post # 1
as per the title, can you take his mothers maiden name?
For example – inter cultural
if my first name was Ntetwe Ogebwe and my husbands name was O’Connolly , I might not want to be Ntetwe O’Connelly . it sounds silly because of the mix of cultural names.
Pinching from the ever popular film ‘Meet the Fockers’, what if your husbandsname was terrible – ‘Gaylordfocker’ or ‘Dick’?
I can see that changing ones name is a good thing, the start of a new life and identity not as two but as one, etc but is there any other way to show this wothout taking his name? can you tak ehis MIDDLE name?
has anyone ever done this?
Post # 3
I just went to a wedding where they combined his last name with her mother’s maiden name (her father was never around) for instance lets say his last name was McAll and her last name was Smill, but her mother’s maiden name was Kaywell. They are now starting a new family name – McKay
Post # 4
My first name is Irish and DH’s last is very Italian and I think they sound ridiculous together… so I just kept my name. Meh. I was going to change it and then decided not to at the last minute.
Post # 5
If I weren’t taking my husband’s last name, I either wouldn’t change my name at all or I’d use both last names, e.g. Gemstone Maiden Married.
Post # 6
I think you should either take his last name or keep your own. I think it would be insulting to want to take, say, his mother’s maiden name because that’s like saying “I really want to change my last name after I get married, just not take YOURS.”
Women who take their husband’s last name generally do so to publicly confirm that they are one family and one couple. Many women keep their last name because they like it, it has meaning, or they don’t feel the need to “conform” to society’s traditions. Either one is fine, but I don’t see the point in changing your last name if you’re not taking his. How do you explain that to people? If you both changed your last name to something new, that’s different.
Post # 7
I am in the exact same situation. God Bless Fiance but I actually hate his last name in all it’s multisyllabic, unpronouncable glory. It doesn’t flow with my name and I just am not happy with it AT ALL. To make it worse, I just love ny name so much. But I do want to share a last name with him very badly. His middle is just as bad if not worse than his last, so no way on that.
I’ve decided not to take his name until we have kids. Since we plan on having kids MUCH MUCH later in life, that should give me at least 8-9 years after we marry to keep and enjoy my name.
Post # 8
My husband’s last name is easily made fun of, like there have been tv commercials. I find it kinda superficial when people are like “I love you but your last name is weird so I’m going to skip it”. I knew I was going to take my husbands last name and I’ll deal with a little mockery.
ETA: If you don’t want to take his name for personal reasons/feelings thats totally cool. I only question when people change their mind strictly because they don’t like how it sounds.
Post # 9
@Gemstone: Yeah, I agree. I wasn’t crazy about DH’s last name, so I hyphenated. I still have mine, but I also have his. I’ve grown to love it more because it’s his even though the name is kind of ugly – lol.
Post # 10
I looooove my name as-is because it spells my dad’s middle name! 🙂 I’m going to take FI’s last name, but I’ll admit its getting a little old hearing people sing “Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson” to me. My last name is actually a really pretty girl’s name so that’s our compromise – if we have a daughter we’ll give her my maiden name as a first name.
Post # 11
@Mrs. Fireworks: i agree with you.. either keep your name or change to his..
Post # 12
ha. i guess that would be me. (but i’ll change it anyway…one unpronounceable dutch name to another unpronounceable german name…)
Post # 13
@LGenz: “I find it kinda superficial when people are like “I love you but your last name is weird so I’m going to skip it”.”
I agree. It’s one thing if you have an attachment to your maiden name and don’t want to give it up (not my choice but to each there own). But it makes no sense to me how someone could want to change their name, just not to their husband’s last name.
Post # 14
This is what happened to me. I hated my husband’s name, and loved my maiden name. It’s a somewhat common boy’s name, of English descent. His is a hard sounding Scottish name that I had never heard in my life. I really didn’t like it 🙁
I know it was hard for him to know I didn’t like it, but his thing was that if I wouldn’t take his name, he saw it as disrespectful and demeaning to him, like I was refusing to be “one” with him. And i understood where he was coming from. I’ve been married 1.5 years and I’m still kind of adjusting. I just have to suck it up lol.
Grizz UGH jealous! My last name, like I said, is a somewhat common boy’s name, so I asked my husband if we can name our son my maiden name and he flipped out! He was like no way. I was so hurt 🙁
Post # 15
i didnt change my surname because my husbands name isnt ethnic enough for me – his mothers maiden name is so hard to pronouce that when his cousin got married his wife needed lessons on how to sound it out, thats the type of surname i would love to have
Post # 16
Meh. I like my last name the way it is. It suits me…and its not too common, which I enjoy. I work in a medical office, so I grossly despise very common last names like “Smith” and “Thomas” and “Wilson”…. (those are big ones in my area, anyway.) FI’s last name is one similar to these…much to common, and heard every single day…and my first name is not really enough to make it distinguishable…*sigh*…BUT…I am going to take his last name. I never knew my father, so I have no real attachment or sentimental value to my last name, and I feel like it’s just something I should do. I feel like it would be insulting if I DIDN’T.