(Closed) what if your best friend used “your name”?

posted 11 years ago in Babies
  • poll: would you be okay if your friend "stole" your name?

    yes...it's a free country...you can still use the name one day, too!

    no...i would be upset, too :-(

    i can't believe you just started a thread for this...are you five years old?

  • Post # 17
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’d be crushed too.  My cousin almost stole my girl name, but then changed to something else.  I think my Mom was more relieved than I was.

    Post # 18
    6659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    It’s always best not to discuss baby names for this reason as well as people raining on your parade. Most expecting couples I’ve known when asked what they are thinking as far as names give a VERY vague answer like “Oh gosh, we haven’t thought about it!” Really?? Yes you have. But that’s an appropriate response b/c it’s not anyone’s business.

    Post # 19
    903 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I’d probably be disappointed, too, and maybe would mention it to her (not in an angry confrontational way, but just in a “hey, so I have to be honest, I’m pretty disappointed that you chose a name I’ve wanted to use for a long time” way) and see what she says.

    But in her defense, maybe her husband HAS loved that name for a long time. My husband has a couple names he’s pretty attatched to, so it could be true. And if I were here, what my husband wanted to name our child would matter more to me than even what my best friend wanted. It’s hard to judge.

    And even if she does use it, you still can too (and you already hinted to her that you planned to). And come up with an awesome middle name that makes it even more unique 🙂

    Post # 20
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I agree with Moderndaisy. Nobody with any close ties to my life will know the names of our future children until it’s on the birth certificate! However, if a friend DID use it, I would definitely be disappointed, but not crushed. I actually get slightly disappointed even when I see random strangers who have the same name as us :p I read once that our girl name is supposed to be a popular name this year, and that definitely had me reconsidering. But then I realized that they are names WE like, and if other people like them too, that’s ok! If I wanted them to have a name that nobody else had, I’d make up something, or call them Donut or something :p So yes, I would be disappointed for a minute, but then carry on with my life.

    Now, if a FAMILY member “stole” our name (a first cousin, sibling, etc. someone close), then I would be peeved and would change it because I don’t want there to be two people in our immediate family with the same name.



    Post # 21
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    I would be upset! I have loved the name Lorelai for as long as I can remember and have always said I want to someday name my daughter that. I remember when my sister was pregnant with her second daughter and was thinking of names, one of her friends suggested Lorelai and she said she couldn’t ever do that because it’s my favorite name – even though I was only like 15 at the time. It was sweet of her, and I (obviously) still remember it…I just think it’s thoughtful to avoid names that you know friends or family want to use!

    Post # 22
    3124 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    it is just in bad taste – I would [maybe not so secretly] judge their choices for a while until i could put my big girl pants on. i would never do this – gag.  But i’m not going to lie and say it wouldn’t piss me off! I wouldn’t really tell anybody besides my closest friends names if I was seriously planning on having a child, though. I wouldn’t want any copying or criticism..

    Post # 23
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    I would be upset, especially since she knew this. I try to avoid telling people names that I really like just so that they won’t steal them. Although it came up in conversation yesterday when my sister, her husband and my mom were all together. They asked what names I like, and my sister actually voiced her dislike of my girl name 🙁

    It’s Taymar, an the reason she said she dislikes it is because Taymar is a character in the bible, and she gets raped. But I liked her because she’s an incredibly virtuous woman in the story. And I love the name.

    For a boy I like Asher, I heard it’s starting to get popular again and I’m sad to hear that 🙁 I don’t want popular names.


    btw @ccrane, I can’t believe she named her son Jacey!

    Post # 24
    7081 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Scarlett is getting really popular right now.  It seems to be one of the hot names on my “birth board”.

    Having said that, we haven’t told anyone our name.  That way if anyone “steals” it, we can’t be mad because it was just a coincidence.  Besides, I made the mistake of telling one of the nurses and she was quick with a negative comment.  Now we just smile and tell people that they’ll find out when she’s born…

    I mean she could have red hair and then we might have to change the name to Ruby (or Scarlett)  (tee hee, I kid, I kid).

    Post # 25
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    @Mrs. DG, I agree! People can’t really bash the name so much when you’re already named your child! The family I used to work for, they did that too. They told no one the names they were considering for their baby until he was born and named. that way they don’t have to try to defend themselves.

    Post # 26
    15 posts
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My cousin did this to me and frankly, I’m still upset about it.

    Post # 27
    2000 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I know what you mean..I definitely don’t want someone to “steal” my babies name though. I’ve only told close friends what I want to name my little girl, and NO one else. I would be upset, though, if I found out one of my friends took the name I had been saving up to use for when I had a little girl. But, then again…what can you do. I would never “steal” a good friends name, though…no matter how much I liked it!

    Post # 28
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I’ve been in love with the name Lily ever since I found it in my maternal family geneology. My aunt on my Dad’s side was expecting, and said if she had a girl she liked Lucia. I said ‘How beautiful, I love ‘L’ names. I hope one day I can name my daughter Lily.’

    Fast forward a few months and my cousin Lily was born. Hmm.

    I got over it, but learnt my lesson, now my favourite names are discussed only with Fiance.

    Post # 29
    7 posts
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Same here I loved the name Ava forever and one of my close friends named her daughter Ava.  but you know what as much as I liked the name after I met a child named Ava that I actually knew I wasn’t so attached to it anymore.  Obviously I want  the name we pick to relate to the child so I feel like when I’m pregnant it will come to me.

    Post # 30
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I would be a little upset if the friend KNEW I had wanted that name for a long time. But, in the end, I would get over it because I wouldn’t be able to change my mind, and it would make me look stupid if I argued about it.

    Post # 31
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    When we found out we were having a girl we announced her name to the world.  My SIL was also pregnant and I wanted to make sure that I kinda had “dibs.”  I met with my BFF and she mentioned that her Fiance really likes a boy’s name…THE boy’s name, as in the one we would have used if we found out we were having a boy.  I had no idea what to say, I was conflicted.  I kept it to myself but that night I texted her that if we had a boy, that had been our choice.  I never heard back from her.  It’s still our choice for a boy’s name and if we have a boy, we will still use that name, even if she uses it too.  I feel bad, but really it just shows how like-minded we are.  And in the end I would change the name if it were a close family member, but not for my BFF’s kids.

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