(Closed) What if your MOH did this…..

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

So she wore her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress to another party? Is that what you are most mad about? I honestly dont think its that big of a deal. As long as it still looks good for your wedding!

Post # 4
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Did she buy the dress? If she owns it then she can wear it wherever and whenever she pleases. As long as it still looks new at your wedding, it really shouldn’t matter. 

Post # 5
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

yeah, i dunno, i dont think I would really care all too much about her wearing her dress to another event. In reference to the other commments you made about removing her from your wedding party, I would re-think it. Did you make your expectations clear to her from the beginning? Some people just arent that much into the wedding planning. My Maid/Matron of Honor lives a few hours away but I only expect my bridesmaids to show up on the day of the wedding and offer their input if ever I need it. I know not everyone is as interested in my wedding as I am. Good luck with your decision though!! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

TBH I dont think the Maid/Matron of Honor is required to go to the bridal salon. I think its nice if they are able to go with you to choose dresses but people have their own lives as well. I would be more upset about a mom not going or my sister not going. Have you talked to her about your concerns?

Post # 8
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t know if your reasons are really serious enough to actually go as far as removing her from the bridal party. What is your relationship OUTSIDE of the wedding planning like. There must be a reason why you made her the Maid/Matron of Honor in the first place, right? Perhaps she’s just not into the “expected” duties of the Maid/Matron of Honor or really doesn’t know what you are expecting from her. Is she married? If not, then she obviously won’t know how you are feeling. I think you should talk to her before removing her. Find out what she thinks about her role as Maid/Matron of Honor. My Maid/Matron of Honor is overseas and I am not expecting her to do anything really. To me it’s more about the actual relationship between us. What about making her a an ordinary bridesmaid?

Post # 9
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Well, I wouldn’t give a damn if she wore the dress somewhere else.  That’s pretty insignificant.  However, if you feel like she’s not living up to her Maid/Matron of Honor duties then just have her be a regular Bridesmaid or Best Man and have your sister be your Maid/Matron of Honor.  I can’t tell if you were planning to kick her out of the wedding entirely, which I think would be a harsh overreaction.  Some people just aren’t into weddings.  I had no idea that so much was expected of bridesmaids and maid of honors until I started posting on the Bee

Post # 10
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I dont think its thaaaaat big of a deal , it seems like there are more deep rooted issues here that need to be dealt with 

Post # 11
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@CanadianMermaid: I was thinking the same thing that’s why I asked what the relationship is like outside o the planning.

Post # 13
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d be thrilled if my BM’s found another excuse to wear the dress! I don’t understand why you are so upset?

Post # 14
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it would only be worth getting upset over if something happened to the dress. Apparently nothing did? If not, then I don’t think it’s wise to kick her out over. (is that what you’re saying you might do?)

Post # 15
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry, but are you marrying your MoH?

Then why the heck should she be holding your hand through everything? why does she need to know when you took your e-pics?

Chillax. Seriously.

PS: It’s called a period. Use it.

Post # 16
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d be thrilled if she wore the dress to another event.  I’m paying for her dress and her daughter’s flowergirl dress too.  The more uses, the better, I’d say.

The attitude, though, I would talk to her about that.  I understand if you can’t make it to some appointments because of life.  However, if she was texting the entire time she was with me at an appointment, I would be upset.

I also made it clear to her, when accepting the Maid/Matron of Honor what I expected of her.  It wasn’t a list of things or anything like that.  I’m sensitive to her situation being a single mother of two.  I just told her that there will be A LOT of things I will need her to participate and that I expected A TON of support from her.  Not financially, but emotionally and physically – as in being there with me.

 

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