Post # 1
Ok, so I am not officially engaged yet. My beau is working and saving up for a ring but we’ve started discussing wedding plans, so that’s where I am at.
So, this is random, but I have always had this fear that I will get my period on my wedding day or night. First of all, my boyfriend/fiance and I are not going to be together sexually until we are married. For both of us the wedding night will be very significant. Secondly, I get terrible periods. Like changing tampons 5+ times a day and with terrible cramps that I deal with by taking vicodin and lying in bed all day. I used to be on birth control for regularity, but it caused me to be severely depressed for two years until I got off of it. So I can’t just take a few pills early to skip my period for the month. And when you are picking a wedding date a year away, it’s hard to predict when will be that time of the month and it’s seriously freaking me out.
Also, I’ve read that it’s advised NOT to have intercourse during a woman’s period because of the risk of a urinary tract infection both for the woman AND the man. And wouldn’t a man be turned off if his wife was on her period? I don’t feel sexy when I am on my period, I don’t think that will change once I am married.
What do you ladies think? Any words of wisdom, anecdotes, or advice on how to deal with this possibility?
Post # 3
I voted “no”, but truthfully I might be pursuaded. Maybe. 🙂 I’m not going to have that problem, though, because I’m on the pill. Coincidentally the timing is right so I won’t be getting it anywhere near the wedding or honeymoon, but if I were I would just skip the inactive pills so I didn’t get it. I’d do it one or two cycles before the wedding just to make sure I wouldn’t have spotting during the wedding/honeymoon, though. I’ve done it before and have even been on Seasonale, which gives you your period every 3 months, and Depo, during which I didn’t get my period at all. There’s no harm in it. In fact, we have many more periods in our lifetime than our ancestors did due to health advances and lifestyle changes!
However, if you can’t do that you can try the menstrual cup… Help! I can’t remember the name of it, now, but there’s one type that allows you to have sex while you’re using it.
ETA: It’s the Instead cup that says you can have sex while using it.
Post # 4
Um, i vote for birth control. there are sOOO many kinds out there now–you’re bound to find one that doesn’t make you depressed.
Also, i used to have really bad periods–i’d go through 1.5 boxes of tampons in 7 days and i’d take vicodin. It turned out i had endomtriosis, which is a disease of uterine overgrowth that can take your fertility away from you and cause scar tissue.
My obgyn said nobody should ever need vicodin for a period. Just a thought–there may be something up that does need to be medically treated
Post # 5
I’m totally going to have mine. I just hope I’m not on day 3 or 4 when I wed, those tend to be the worst days for me. We won’t be doing anything that night, but maybe a couple days later when it slows down.
Post # 6
I agree with ejs4y8 110% about the Vicodin … you should get checked for endometriosis. That isn’t normal.
I’m not so sure about the birth control. I had the same problem, and I’ve tried literally every brand under the sun. Some make me depressed; some make me act like a crazy psychotic woman. None of them are good experiences. :/ Hormonal birth control is just not good for your body.
Sex helps with cramps. I’d suggest the cup, too — not only because you can have sex with it in, but also because there are a ton of chemicals in tampons that leach into your bloodstream and are just awful for you. No TSS with the cup!
Post # 7
Make sure you bring candles, a stick lighter, and a shower fun kit 😉
Leave the lights off so it’s dark enough that nothing can really be “seen” in the shower!
Light a a few candles and get ready for some steamy, wet, wedding-night-to-remember sex!
Post # 8
I have done it and it isn’t a big deal to me. Just put donw a towel so you don’t make a mess on the bed and shower afterward. As long as you two aren’t skeeved out by blood, it isn’t any different than normal.
Post # 9
Hehe about the towel… every once in awhile, I will go to bed on one of those nights and the Fiance has a towel waiting 😉 LOL
Post # 10
You could also do it in the shower. it’s less messy and doesn’t have the ick factor that bothers most men.
Post # 11
Personally before my Fiance, I NEVER had sex while on my period..thought itwas totally gross and that I was not attractive/sexy during that time. Now we have sex no matter if I’m on my period or not.
Also, something to think about. if you go to an OBGYN and get on birth control you can tell them of your past experience with the pill and they try something different for you since there are many options out there now. And if you do that you can start to track when your period will be and avoid the situation all together.(That is what I am doing, I have a great OBGYN who helepd me count my weeks to miss it by 2 weeks! That way I avoid the bloating and being more tired that goes along with my week before)
Whatever you decide to do is right for you. Good Luck!
Post # 12
I am not a fan of birth control at all. It is just too unnatural and there are so many women who have problems conceiving after having been on the pill for an extended period of time.
What you’re experiencing is common–but not normal! You should actually look into making changes in your diet. Diet actually plays a huge role in menstruation and cramps (just like women who are malnourished or anorexic stop getting their periods). For me, I removed all animal products from my diet for a period of time… without the added hormones my periods suddenly became light, pain-free and regular. I added some fish and dairy (hormone free) back into my diet and have been fine for years. My periods usually only last 2-3 days and I no longer suffer those horrible pains and symptoms I had for so many years.
I’m not saying became veg. if you don’t want to. But you should limit the animal products you do consume and only buy those that are not commercial. It may make a huge difference in your symptoms. I don’t think people are aware how much hormones and other junk are in animal products these days. The encouragement to drink MILK for calcium is the reason why so many girls these days are developing early (and subsequently getting all kinds of cancers associated with early menstruation, etc)
I hope you’ll give it a try (before going on pills) they have far too many negative side effects. I used to suffer for years with severe menstrual symtpoms..it is misery!
Post # 13
I’m not on BC now but I have a month or two left of my prescription so if I thought it seemed like I might get it then I’d probably take it just to rearrange my period a bit.
Post # 14
Camrie – Not sure if you’re body would be able to “regulate” itself after just a month or two of pills, I know mine wouldn’t! Maybe you could see your doctor several months before your wedding to see what your options are.
Post # 15
I agree that you should probably talk to a doctor about your period issues, and just see if there are options for you that could alleviate things.
I voted for “depends on what the hubby wants.” Especially if the wedding night is the first night, I don’t think being on my period would keep me from doing it, unless I was in severe pain (in which case, it’d be pretty tough to make it through a long day for ceremony/reception, anyway!) But I know some guys are totally weirded out if the woman is on her period, so I think I’d just respect whatever he wants to do. I’d probably also be sure to book my honeymoon much closer to the actual wedding so I can choose a week when I’m reasonably sure I won’t be on my period – that way, even if the wedding night isn’t all I dreamed it to be, at least we can have that week to make up for it 🙂
Post # 16
It wouldn’t happen. BF and I are very against period-sex. However, if I happen to have a supply of Instead cups, then sure, we may have a go or two.
Most likely, I will look into it beforehand, as I am set-your-watch regular. I track my cycles online, and maybe it is off by a day or two about once every 10 cycles.